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Post your favorite confession from grouphug.us

One time I payed a stripper to have sex with me. while in the act I noticed it started to feel really good. after pulling out, to my suprise my condom was torn. Like a big pussy I stuck around and exchanged phone numbers with the whore stripper. I should have bounced like a G. In the process she took my wallet and told me I would get it back the next day. The next day I took her to the clinic and we got the next day pill. I got my wallet back but I think I lost my pride in the process (still think I should have bounced). But on the flip side I have a great story to tell when I go to a bar.
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This one has to be my favorite, even though it probably isn't true...

615302931 I am an ordained minister of 30 years and have lost all belief that God exists. Yet, I still deliver sermons every Saturday and Sunday. I also have, over the course of the last 20 years, had 22 sexual relationships with vulnerable women, and members of our choir, including 4 women under the age of 18


:Q
 
Originally posted by: ultimatebob
This one has to be my favorite, even though it probably isn't true...

615302931 I am an ordained minister of 30 years and have lost all belief that God exists. Yet, I still deliver sermons every Saturday and Sunday. I also have, over the course of the last 20 years, had 22 sexual relationships with vulnerable women, and members of our choir, including 4 women under the age of 18


:Q
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I wonder if that counts as confession?
 
"I lock myself in my girlfriend's bathroom, rummage through her laundry basket, and sniff her mother's underwear. I am sexually attracted to my girlfriend's mother and have had dreams about her. "

:Q:Q

"I once poked a dead guy with a stick for about an hour before I reported it to the cops. I kinda left the stick in his nose."

😀
 
"I hate not being the center of attention, and I want to sleep with most of my friends. " lordjezo!?!?
 
"I once stole weed from my dad. I don't feel bad anymore, cause he stole weed from me afterwards. " hahahahahha! 😀
 
Dear lord jayXTP!
If you had your profile up I'd give you a 10 just for this thread. I think I've found a new favorite site when I'm bored

😀😀😀

I hope they don't run out of quotes anytime soon
 
465737975


Last month my car broke down at the store, I didn't feel like walking, so I stole one of those Handycapped motorized shopping carts and rode it home, Then I sold it on Ebay.
 
I called in sick to work today, but I'm not really sick. I'm just tired and had a slight headache. I also skipped my classes. School and work blow.

haha 😀
 
766556830


When I failed out of college for the third time in the middle of my fifth year, my parents got a call from the school asking why they continued to send the school checks even though I wasn't enrolled.

I bullshited my parents into beleiving the school made a mistake and that it was a computer error. I even faked graduation by buying a cap and gown and walking. (it is a huge state school and they didnt even notice)

The kicker of it all is that after school was over I got a check for almost $10,000 which was the payment for my last semester at school. I kept it and have pretty much spent all of it at this point. I couldn't give it back to my parents, they would have known I didn't graduate.
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Oh. My. God.


This one has to be real... who would come up with that?
 
Originally posted by: silverpig
766556830


When I failed out of college for the third time in the middle of my fifth year, my parents got a call from the school asking why they continued to send the school checks even though I wasn't enrolled.

I bullshited my parents into beleiving the school made a mistake and that it was a computer error. I even faked graduation by buying a cap and gown and walking. (it is a huge state school and they didnt even notice)

The kicker of it all is that after school was over I got a check for almost $10,000 which was the payment for my last semester at school. I kept it and have pretty much spent all of it at this point. I couldn't give it back to my parents, they would have known I didn't graduate.
Click to expand...


Oh. My. God.


This one has to be real... who would come up with that?
Click to expand...

That's crazy!
 
020742291 I work with people i dont like....and am planning to burn the place down in the near future


MILTON!!!!! 😀
 
My friend and I lived in a dorm room back in college. One time he was talking to his mom on the phone. Without him seeing me, I pulled down my pants, put my legs behind my head, and pulled my rectum open. I then called his name and he looked over to see my open butthole. He threw the phone at me with his mom still on the line. He then proceeded to beat me. He ended up breaking my arm. He's in prison now (unrelated incident), but I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

:Q
 
989751220


I stay up until 3am on a lot of nights just to catch a couple of M*A*S*H* reruns. Then, I have to wake up at 6am the next morning for work. I swear to never do that again, but, sure enough, the next night rolls around and there I am watching M*A*S*H* at three in the morning.

ahha
 
EDIT: Can't read threads properly...

434880372

in new york on vacation I was in my grandparent's cottege and I took a massive dump so big that we couldnt unplug it or use the snake, and eventually we had to buy a whole new toilet. my mom took the blame and I feel so bad.
 
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