Post-college life seems geared toward isolation

[Kristi2k]

It takes awhile to get used of, it took me awhile. I make new friends when new people are hired at work, but they are considered at work friends as I don't see them out side of work.

 

[deerslayer]

About the same for me.

Only see the girlfriend on weekends, work 8-5, get home around 6, eat dinner, and try to find something to do for 5 hours before I go to bed. All of my friends moved away or work second shift.

I try to find projects to do. Since I'm still living at home, it's not always easy. My father and I had been working on replacing all of the windows in the house, but we finished that about a month ago. Since we hadn't had our fishing boat out in a couple years we got that out and fixed different things on it that needed to be fixed before it was ready to be used again.

In a few weeks we are going to start working on a deck to replace the concrete steps at our front door that are falling apart. Stuff like this has helped me out a lot.

 

[DougK62]

You have to make an effort. In college thousands of young kids are packed into a few acres of land - of course it's going to be easy to make friends and find stuff to do.

 

[49erinnc]

If I had a dime for every time I longed for the care-free days of college, I'd be a rich man. But long gone are the nights of sitting around with a group of people drinking, playing games and cutting up or going to parties. All of that stuff was fun but it's only for a certain chapter of your life. Beyond that, you grow up, you form real relationships with a close-knit, small group of people and you find happiness within them.

Pining for your college days won't do anything but make you even more miserable. Enjoy the memories you had and start creating some new ones. You don't need 10 guys lounging around in wrinkled clothes with hangovers while taking turns on the Xbox to be social or have fun. Life is what you make of it and there are plenty of opportunities out there to meet new people once you leave college. It will never be "the same" but do you really want to spend your entire life living like a coed?

 

[m1ldslide1]

Pretty typical experience. I realized that's why they say that the friends you make early in life will be your best friends - it's not because they more accurately reflect your personality or anything like that, it's because it's who you're stuck with. There's little opportunity to forge friendships on a personal level once you're working, procreating, gardening, etc.

 

[CycloWizard]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
I do have hobbies -- as I said, dancing, skating, swimming. And I do meet people that way.

And I spend my weekends with my girlfriend.

But even adding those together, something still feels "missing" compared to the old college days

Do what I did - go back to school. If you stick around long enough, they'll eventually give you a permanent position.

 

[shadow9d9]

Harder to meet people and people are less interested in forming new friends.

 

[j00fek]

Originally posted by: spidey07
:music:
Welcome.
Welcome to the machine.
:music:

Seriously, welcome to adult life.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Works for me. I like being alone so much I seriously considered becoming a monk.

 

[brockj]

It is very difficult, I went through the same struggles when I graduated. Basically I found to make friends with similar aged people at work (if possible) and being involved in different groups.

I had started homebrewing my senior year in college, and when I got my job I found a club in my area and joined. Basically you have the right idea, but yes, it sucks...

 

[meltdown75]

The key is - you're SUPPOSED to grow out of it. You can't live the college life forever. They don't refer to it as "the best years of your life" for nothing - even though personally I am having a great time being married and am glad to be away from the party scene for the most part. They were good years back then, but the best are yet to come IMHO. I'm 31 and I feel like I have my whole life ahead of me.

If you need constant interaction, maybe you shouldn't settle down. You can just be one of those single clubber people for life, or a roving hippie like the ones following Phish or the Grateful Dead or the Allman Brothers. At the end of the day though, what matters is your family and your SO. Give yourself time to mature and maybe you won't look on your situation with such disdain.

 

[archcommus]

Well I can't resist chiming in here. My brief story:

Back in late high school/early college I dated a girl that ended up going on almost 2 1/2 years of serious relationship. Thought it would never end. Of course it did. Now I'm half way through college (will be a junior this fall) and really love it and have a lot of fun like most others did in college, but I've been single for a year and a half now with no end in sight. I work a 9-5 at home during the summer and already I can see what post-college life will possibly be like if I stay single. Threads like this only reaffirm that suspicion. Now I feel almost obligated to get with someone seriously before I graduate to have a shot at being happy in adult life.

 

[GrantMeThePower]

Learn to be happy with yourself. It sounds like you're abnormally obsessed with "social contacts". You have friends, you have a girlfriend, you exercise, you have hobbies....and you're still stressing? You have much deeper issues that you need to worry about rather than how else to meet people. Learn to be alone a bit.

 

[djheater]

On the other hand I can't stand the inanity of what comprises the majority of socializing. I hated the social idiocracy of high school and college, and I hate the remnants of it in work life. It's a bunch of retarded social bologna that amounts to nothing more than a popularity contest. More matter and less posturing, I say.

I'm happily married and entirely devoted to my wife and extended family. The one or two friends and contacts left over from the old days are more than enough for me.

 

[archcommus]

Originally posted by: djheater
On the other hand I can't stand the inanity of what comprises the majority of socializing. I hated the social idiocracy of high school and college, and I hate the remnants of it in work life. It's a bunch of retarded social bologna that amounts to nothing more than a popularity contest. More matter and less posturing, I say.

I'm happily married and entirely devoted to my wife and extended family. The one or two friends and contacts left over from the old days are more than enough for me.

Exactly, that's fine once you have a family of your own. I'm pretty sure most people here are talking about post-college SINGLE life.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: archcommus

Originally posted by: djheater
On the other hand I can't stand the inanity of what comprises the majority of socializing. I hated the social idiocracy of high school and college, and I hate the remnants of it in work life. It's a bunch of retarded social bologna that amounts to nothing more than a popularity contest. More matter and less posturing, I say.

I'm happily married and entirely devoted to my wife and extended family. The one or two friends and contacts left over from the old days are more than enough for me.

Exactly, that's fine once you have a family of your own. I'm pretty sure most people here are talking about post-college SINGLE life.

I married at 22

 

[AUMM]

college was great fun but now that im graduated and working life has gotten even more fun for me.... true my huge group of friends/people to hang out with has shrunk sizeably but the friends I have now are much closer to me and we have better relationships. Also, now that im making decent money I can afford to take trips(overseas or local) with friends, we go out 1-3 times a week usually, I can afford to take up more expensive/exciting hobbies (scuba diving) and overall my quality of life has gone up a lot

 

[elmro]

Move to New York City. Problem solved! If you already live in New York City - well uhhh.

 

[sponge008]

Start a hobby you think people you'd like would enjoy. You'll probably like it too.

 

[manowar821]

Yeah, welcome to the world!

I'm kind of glad I learned this when I turned 18.

 

[krunchykrome]

I notice the lack of social opportunities as well. But the way I see it, at this post-undergrad stage in my life, this is the time to start worrying more about my career goals.

 

[Acanthus]

This is why i dont mind 10 years of college.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: djheater
The one or two friends and contacts left over from the old days are more than enough for me.

Personally, I'll never trust anybody I haven't known since we were kids together. Those kinds of friends, I've seen at their best and worst before we became pretentious adults. New people creep me out because there is such a thick layer of fakeness that takes a long time to see past.

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: Izusaga
Welcome to adult life.

It sucks.

Damn, life is going to suck once I get out of college (heck, I'm not going to college until 3 months)

 

[Saint Nick]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: djheater
The one or two friends and contacts left over from the old days are more than enough for me.

Personally, I'll never trust anybody I haven't known since we were kids together. Those kinds of friends, I've seen at their best and worst before we became pretentious adults. New people creep me out because there is such a thick layer of fakeness that takes a long time to see past.

I agree completely -- its hard to get past that. I've met two people while here in college that I trust completely. Other than that, I only trust childhood friends that I still speak with today. Other than that, when I get out of college I don't plan on being a stiff. I'm going to go out and do stuff just like I would have when I was in college. the only difference is that I'll have a job.