Post-college life seems geared toward isolation

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: Flyback

Originally posted by: Alphathree33

Originally posted by: Izusaga
Welcome to adult life.

It sucks.

So this is your experience too?

Geez, no wonder so many people rush to get married: apparently there's nothing else to life!

The things we settle for.

I refuse to get married simply because that's the only way I will have social contact for the rest of my life.

I can feel the corporate world slowly draining my soul... I can't help but wonder if happiness is better obtained without the whole corporate deal. I don't see how I'd be happier with a higher salary or a nicer title in this situation. Or at a different company. Or in a different industry. Or in a different city.

Because the basic facts of this existence would still be the same.

Start a business. You are young enough that the risk is acceptable and you likely don't have any obligations unless you fathered some kids while in school.

Cut your teeth in the business world working for others for maybe two or three years all the while living frugally to save up money for a business. The two or three years you are doing that, figure out what business venture you want to try. Do all of the leg work included like researching, reading business texts, and learning business. Also, work as close as possible with management as you can or at least observe them in action (that is, assuming they are good..don't follow the dummies).

Perhaps start a couple smaller ventures while you work/before you quit the job and start the big one. It is better to fail when your income isn't on the line.

Becoming a proprietor is difficult and time consuming (definitely for the first year) but after that things become much more flexible. You can manage it so that you can sign up for a college course here or there to meet people.

OR you could continue to work for others for the next 30-40 years. Up to you

I don't see how starting my own business would bring back the good old days. If anything, it would make me even more deeply involved in the corporate world.

Granted, I'd set my own hours and be my own boss -- but I would also inevitable work my ass off.

I'm not dead set against it, but the problem is that my skills are primarily technical. I could build a website or write some software but... have you heard those ideas somewhere before? =)

I could also teach dancing, but there are tons of instructors to compete against and it's not as glamorous of a lifestyle as it sounds. (I've tried it before, albiet not full-time.)

So the corporate world is really "OK" for me right now. Besides, I'm saving up money and investing well, so I won't be a financial slave forever. It won't be long before I have a year or two of salary saved up.

It's NOT the corporate world I have a problem with necessarily. As I said, I enjoy my work on my days and I have lots of opportunities for growth.

It's just the whole "after college" existence that I'm still getting used to.

I'm also not a big city boy, and I moved into a big city from a small one, so that might also be weighing down on me.

 

[nonameo]

Originally posted by: Martin

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
I do have hobbies -- as I said, dancing, skating, swimming. And I do meet people that way.

And I spend my weekends with my girlfriend.

But even adding those together, something still feels "missing" compared to the old college days

Feel that weight bearing down on you? Do you feel it? Crushing you like a grape?

It's called responsibility and earning a decent living.

As an adult you have responsibilities and things have to be scheduled/planned in advance. You can't just expect to call somebody and say "hey, let's goof off!"

What are these crushing responsibilities I keep hearing about? With a few exceptions (first generation immigrants, people from broken homes etc) making a decent living is a trivial matter.

Well, you have to feed yourself and put a roof over your head. You need to pay for health insurance unless it's covered by your employer. Most people need a car(+ ins). Utilities. Most people will wind up having kids sometime in their lives. (Child support, alimony, or maybe they're yours to keep. however you split it, it's more $) Some people have debt from school or other expenses.

Point being, life is expensive no matter how you cut it.

 

[Babbles]

So essentially this is a thread asking how one goes about getting a life?

I've had - and I am sure plenty of people here as well - a far, far, better life after college than during.

Originally posted by: Alphathree33

Something just isn't right about this whole setup. It's like you either get married and live with your significant other, or you spend most of your time alone or at work, and that's it.

Life is all about what you make of it. If you want to spend most of your time alone and/or at work, that is entirely due to the choices that you made.

 

[IeraseU]

You are right, most people just adapt to living in a more isolated fashion after college. It is actually very similar in professional sports where you are bored out of your mind when you retire because you basically are now on your own and don't have 'the guys' and all the activity to keep things interesting (although thank goodness in this case you are doing pretty well financially usually). A lot of people do get married and have kids at this stage, and then you can sort of live vicariously through your kids and the fun they have growing up with their friends. Then one day the kids are gone, and you are back with the isolation.

 

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: IeraseU
You are right, most people just adapt to living in a more isolated fashion after college. It is actually very similar in professional sports where you are bored out of your mind when you retire because you basically are now on your own and don't have 'the guys' and all the activity to keep things interesting (although thank goodness in this case you are doing pretty well financially usually). A lot of people do get married and have kids at this stage, and then you can sort of live vicariously through your kids and the fun they have growing up with their friends. Then one day the kids are gone, and you are back with the isolation.

I noticed that when I left my parent's place (I was an only child), my mother kept telling me how quiet everything was, how alone she was, etc.

EDIT: And she's married!

 

[her209]

Post-college life is liberating. No more homework, term papers, studying for mid-terms. Wooo hooo!

 

[Flyback]

Alphathree33:

Life after college doesn't have to suck. You could try living with roommates if that is your style (you seem to have an affinity for being around people yet don't want marriage so young).

Perhaps a few more activities at night are in order. Maybe sign up for an arts class at college. Say, creative writing or a language course. There will be diversity for age, but you can meet tons of people. If you want low overhead/investment (time wise) then try volunteering once a week somewhere. I volunteered at a hospital for 4 hours every Sunday and met tons of people.

You said you have activities already, but maybe you need more. *shrug*.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Babbles
So essentially this is a thread asking how one goes about getting a life?

I've had - and I am sure plenty of people here as well - a far, far, better life after college than during.

Originally posted by: Alphathree33

Something just isn't right about this whole setup. It's like you either get married and live with your significant other, or you spend most of your time alone or at work, and that's it.

Life is all about what you make of it. If you want to spend most of your time alone and/or at work, that is entirely due to the choices that you made.

Yep. You "get it".

OP - I believe you are seeking others for your happiness. Not a good way to live.

 

[KarmaPolice]

Again i don't see the problem. I mean the average person graduating college is like 22-23. If you live in a city or near any kind of urban area there are tons of things to do, all involving people your age. Many of these people don't have a lot of responsibility and like you, they want to hang out and have a good time. If Dance and work don't have enough people your age...go join an acting club, music club, bike club, beer club, or whatever it is that you do.

 

[Coldkilla]

Tell you what, go to a heavy metal concert, test your dance skills at mosh pitting and crowd surfing. Meet some hard rockers over there, and getta beer. That's what its all about. Playing in a band isn't a bad way to go ether

 

[jiggahertz]

Yeah, it's definitely not a dorm like atmosphere anymore. But, I usually go out with friends a couple times a week. And we all have 9-5 or so jobs. You seem to be involved in dancing/swimming which probably takes up a couple nights during the week. I'm not really sure how you feel isolated.

 

[clamum]

It sort of depends... there's not as much random hanging out with friends as when I was in school, but I could show up at a few friends' houses and have some drinks or play cards or watch tv or do whatever. I'm 24 and work a 8-5 job. I also am single so maybe that's what's different. And as far as having hobbies like clubs or classes, I don't do sh!t except watch my friend play darts on Thursdays.

 

[potato28]

Originally posted by: Sentinel
I realized this isolation too.

I moved to NYC to be with my girlfriend, she dumped me and moved to Vegas. I work with 5 guys all 45 and older. I don't know a damn person in one of the biggest cities in the world. This just recently happened, so I;m working on joining a few groups or classes. But it's difficult nonetheless.

Make a lets meet at a bar thread. Theres probably tons of ATOTer's in NYC.

 

[Tommy2000GT]

Don't enroll but just go to classes and pretend you're a student. The beauty of it is that you never have to study, do homework, or take finals

 

[halik]

Originally posted by: Sentinel
I realized this isolation too.

I moved to NYC to be with my girlfriend, she dumped me and moved to Vegas. I work with 5 guys all 45 and older. I don't know a damn person in one of the biggest cities in the world. This just recently happened, so I;m working on joining a few groups or classes. But it's difficult nonetheless.

make friends with neighbors... nyc is full of people

 

[SmoochyTX]

Originally posted by: potato28

Originally posted by: Sentinel
I realized this isolation too.

I moved to NYC to be with my girlfriend, she dumped me and moved to Vegas. I work with 5 guys all 45 and older. I don't know a damn person in one of the biggest cities in the world. This just recently happened, so I;m working on joining a few groups or classes. But it's difficult nonetheless.

Make a lets meet at a bar thread. Theres probably tons of ATOTer's in NYC.

That's a good idea for the OP.

 

[dr150]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33

Originally posted by: Izusaga
Welcome to adult life.

It sucks.

So this is your experience too?

Geez, no wonder so many people rush to get married: apparently there's nothing else to life!

The things we settle for.

I refuse to get married simply because that's the only way I will have social contact for the rest of my life.

I can feel the corporate world slowly draining my soul... I can't help but wonder if happiness is better obtained without the whole corporate deal. I don't see how I'd be happier with a higher salary or a nicer title in this situation. Or at a different company. Or in a different industry. Or in a different city.

Because the basic facts of this existence would still be the same.

Become a teacher. Then you can enjoy socialing with young people.

 

[eLiu]

This is sad. What I really like about dorm life is that there's a fvckton of people everywhere at any given hour. So regardless of what I want to do... like play chess, bridge, video games, frisbee, tennis, watch a movie, go out for food, chat, or whatever... I can find some people awake/interested.

Seems like that lifestyle will die when I leave here No more spontaneously marathon-ing movies or playing bughouse for 5 hours or whatever. weak sauce.

 

[Rogodin2]

I married because I loved the woman I dated, if you're thinking about 'social connections-and interaction' then you've already lost.

Rogo

 

[Zugzwang152]

OP is lucky to have the SO going into "adult" life. Those of us still single and graduated have it 10 times worse.

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: eLiu
This is sad. What I really like about dorm life is that there's a fvckton of people everywhere at any given hour. So regardless of what I want to do... like play chess, bridge, video games, frisbee, tennis, watch a movie, go out for food, chat, or whatever... I can find some people awake/interested.

Seems like that lifestyle will die when I leave here No more spontaneously marathon-ing movies or playing bughouse for 5 hours or whatever. weak sauce.

Living with roomates when you go out into "adult life" can ease you in pretty well. You wot be playing bughouse or whatever tf that is, but youll have some good times after work. As long as your roomates dont turn into bitches.

 

[Kev]

Life sucks then you die.

 

[PepePeru]

ive found its getting worse. im single plus ive moved several times over the past few years & i really dont know anyone outside of work.

yes, it does suck.

 

[irishScott]

Hmmm. Looks like I should double major into that 6 year program now...

 

[RallyMaster]

Lame. If post-college life is really like this....I'm gonna be kicking walls all day....