Dude, I'm sorry that I'm about to say this... but what is wrong with you? She committed the ultimate act of betrayal to a spouse. Multiple times. And you went back to her everytime, just so she could do it again. What's your opinion of women who get battered by their husbands and keep going back? Do you think they should stick it out for the long run and hope it gets better or get the hell out of there and find a better thing? Cause that's you man. Open your eyes.
[DurocShark:] "Well, I *do* love her, and I kinda knew she had low self esteem when we got together. What sucks is every time I get her confidence up to a normal level, she starts looking at other guys too. She's cheated 3 times that I know of, probably more that I don't. But it hasn't happened in a few years now, so I think we've gotten over that hump. A lot of work on my side (and hers too, I'm sure) has gotten things nice and stable."
Dude, are you crazy? Hehehe!
Seriously though, I can understand sticking together, but I must ask you a question: Now, if this crime of adultery is happening over and over, how many times (what is is your limit) before you say enough is enough and either tackle the problem or end the relationship? The reason I ask is, it sounds as though you're looking toward the other side, letting things slide, for instance just attacking the man involved and in the presence of your son (if I'm not mistaken and it doesn't sound healthy)! Hello? Ever asked yourself why she keeps on doing it? Anyway, I commend you for sticking with her, but it seems to me that you're indifferent to what the problem really is. I was just curious with the questions, but it's your relationship and your business. Feel free not to respond if you feel it's inappropriate.
As for me, frankly, I would rather not recall the moment of distress. I can only say that I learned my lessons. And that is why I'm proud of myself . . . for at least not staying bitter for so long. I picked things to be learned and applied them toward my future relationships; though I do admit that I could be a little less rigid.
Dude, are you crazy? Hehehe!
Seriously though, I can understand sticking together, but I must ask you a question: Now, if this crime of adultery is happening over and over, how many times (what is is your limit) before you say enough is enough and either tackle the problem or end the relationship? The reason I ask is, it sounds as though you're looking toward the other side, letting things slide, for instance just attacking the man involved and in the presence of your son (if I'm not mistaken and it doesn't sound healthy)! Hello? Ever asked yourself why she keeps on doing it? Anyway, I commend you for sticking with her, but it seems to me that you're indifferent to what the problem really is. I was just curious with the questions, but it's your relationship and your business. Feel free not to respond if you feel it's inappropriate.As for me, frankly, I would rather not recall the moment of distress. I can only say that I learned my lessons. And that is why I'm proud of myself . . . for at least not staying bitter for so long. I picked things to be learned and applied them toward my future relationships; though I do admit that I could be a little less rigid.
Originally posted by: BrunoPuntzJones
She was on the rag and moaning and bitching like usual.
So she's going on and on about some shizit and I just have that blank stare on my face. She starts chewing my ass out and gives a pause for me to apologize or something.
I just say "sorry I can't understand you, I don't speak bitch"
Ho ho!
That is a great line LMAO
This didn't really happen I ripped it from some comic
Originally posted by: luvly
[DurocShark:] "Well, I *do* love her, and I kinda knew she had low self esteem when we got together. What sucks is every time I get her confidence up to a normal level, she starts looking at other guys too. She's cheated 3 times that I know of, probably more that I don't. But it hasn't happened in a few years now, so I think we've gotten over that hump. A lot of work on my side (and hers too, I'm sure) has gotten things nice and stable."
Dude, are you crazy? Hehehe!
As for me, frankly, I would rather not recall the moment of distress. I can only say that I learned my lessons. And that is why I'm proud of myself . . . for at least not staying bitter for so long. I picked things to be learned and applied them toward my future relationships; though I do admit that I could be a little less rigid.
Funny, I was always the one who told friends, "She cheated? Bounce her out the window!" But once I discovered someone I loved, my attitude changed.
Here's the thing: We're both opposite of what stereotypical men and women are "supposed" to be. I tend towards an emotional relationship and sex, and she tends towards the physical sides. Her cheating was totally physical. It wasn't emotion that was driving her, it was hormones. (Our roles during sex are reversed too... I like foreplay and she just wants to get down. heh) Only once did I catch some emotional attachment from her to another guy, and I bailed that night. THAT is cheating to me... Giving of your heart to another. The physical stuff is just bad judgement, or lack of self control. I can deal with that.
And it's been several years now since she's done anything like that. Each time has been a learning experience for us, because we find new things out about each other. Learn new ways to enhance the relationship, and new avenues to explore.
Man, I've gotten awfully philosophical, haven't I? LoL
"And it's been several years now since she's done anything like that. Each time has been a learning experience for us, because we find new things out about each other. Learn new ways to enhance the relationship, and new avenues to explore.
Man, I've gotten awfully philosophical, haven't I? LoL"
No, no, not at all . . . I mean you weren't awfully philosophical.
I'm just so perplexed. And I have to give you an award for endurance. If that's what you two decided to do and how you feel about the relationship, more power to you! You're a patient man.
Thanks for the response, btw.
Man, I've gotten awfully philosophical, haven't I? LoL"
No, no, not at all . . . I mean you weren't awfully philosophical.
I'm just so perplexed. And I have to give you an award for endurance. If that's what you two decided to do and how you feel about the relationship, more power to you! You're a patient man.
Thanks for the response, btw.
But doing the breaking up isn't easy, either... it's sad to see someone you still care for crying in a ball on the ground.
Originally posted by: Dezign
But doing the breaking up isn't easy, either... it's sad to see someone you still care for crying in a ball on the ground.
Did you kick him in the balls to get him down there? :Q
"But doing the breaking up isn't easy, either... it's sad to see someone you still care for crying in a ball on the ground."
Dezign, you never gave us an update in regards to a very nice guy that you dumped. Remember you asked us how you should do it, since he had travelled or so? And then you said how you really wanted to be friends with him but asked whether it was possible. An update would be nice (i.e., when you delivered the message, and how he reacted to the news).
I do agree that breaking the news could be hard, but it isn't hard for everyone. Some people have no problem jilting their significant others.
Dezign, you never gave us an update in regards to a very nice guy that you dumped. Remember you asked us how you should do it, since he had travelled or so? And then you said how you really wanted to be friends with him but asked whether it was possible. An update would be nice (i.e., when you delivered the message, and how he reacted to the news).
I do agree that breaking the news could be hard, but it isn't hard for everyone. Some people have no problem jilting their significant others.
As requested, luvly.
Update: We broke up, got back together, broke up, got back together, and I finally decided to end it the relationship once and for all a couple months ago. He's still hurt, and some down-time apart was/is still in effect. I think that time apart is the best way to work through the emotions (on his part... I have been over him for awhile, which is harsh to say, but true). I think too often, people try and force the friends thing too soon (which I was doing at first, but caught myself), and it backfires and creates resentment and a barrier to real friendship, because both people just aren't ready to resume that kind of normalcy.
We share a number of the same friends, and have done our best not to put anyone in an awkward position. We still care about each other, but weren't meant to be together as boyfriend/girlfriend.
I'm enjoying my single time right now, focusing on myself and getting my sh!t straight. Of course, it's nice to just relax every once in awhile... I'm going to be taking a road trip to Arizona this weekend to visit my friend Jose.
:heart: EDIT: Off for the weekend... have a good one, everyone. Hope to see some AZ ATOT-ers in Phoenix...
Originally posted by: Rainsford
Her: "I'm not sure we should keep seeing each other, you just aren't serious enough."
Me: Blank look...WTF?
Her: "I mean you're fun to be around and all, but you just don't take life seriously enough."
Me: "Um..."
Her: "You know what I mean?" (she had this extremely annoying way of saying this when she was "just trying to make a point")
Me (getting kind of pissed): "Well I just figured you took it seriously enough for the both of us."
Quite possibly one of the more perplexing breakups I've had. In fact, I recently met her current BF who looks like he has a stick up his ass, and he goes to Harvard where he is studying (I kid you not) law because he feels that it's the only thing that will really challenge his intelligence (his own words). I guess she finally found a guy who's "serious" enough for her
I would like to see him study higher level mathematics and see if that "challenges" his intellect.
Good for you, Dezign! Thanks for the update. I always admire people who see the importance of not creating a hostile environment in case they have the same friends or families.
Anyway, enjoy your stay at Arizona. Uhmm . . . nothing with Jose, I suppose. Have a safe trip!
I can't wait to take a vacation next weekend. I get to experience San Diego for the first time.
Anyway, enjoy your stay at Arizona. Uhmm . . . nothing with Jose, I suppose.
Have a safe trip!I can't wait to take a vacation next weekend. I get to experience San Diego for the first time.
Originally posted by: luvly
Good for you, Dezign! Thanks for the update. I always admire people who see the importance of not creating a hostile environment in case they have the same friends or families.
Anyway, enjoy your stay at Arizona. Uhmm . . . nothing with Jose, I suppose.
I can't wait to take a vacation next weekend. I get to experience San Diego for the first time.
No problem at all. I think I've matured to the point where being a drama queen just isn't my idea of a good time, and respect my friends/family enough to keep potentially uncomfortable/awkward issues between those who are immediately involved.
Thanks for the well wishes... I'm just hoping my little salvage will make it there without any trouble (got my AAA membership today, just in case). I'm absolutely positive it'll be well worth every second of the five-hour drive.
I hope you have a fantastic time in San Diego... enjoy the sun, the beaches, and the people. If you happy to swing over to LA and have a few hours to kill, let me know...
The only models I know in LA are Trashy ones (which don't really count ), but if that's your thing, we can chill.Have a terrific weekend, all...
lol, challenge his intelligence? Try theoretical physics smarty!Originally posted by: Rainsford
Her: "I'm not sure we should keep seeing each other, you just aren't serious enough."
Me: Blank look...WTF?
Her: "I mean you're fun to be around and all, but you just don't take life seriously enough."
Me: "Um..."
Her: "You know what I mean?" (she had this extremely annoying way of saying this when she was "just trying to make a point")
Me (getting kind of pissed): "Well I just figured you took it seriously enough for the both of us."
Quite possibly one of the more perplexing breakups I've had. In fact, I recently met her current BF who looks like he has a stick up his ass, and he goes to Harvard where he is studying (I kid you not) law because he feels that it's the only thing that will really challenge his intelligence (his own words). I guess she finally found a guy who's "serious" enough for her
I'm taking that a step further: I'm not moving in with a woman until AFTER I'm married to her.
Read the posts above: intent to marry is very little insurance.
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