Originally posted by: MisterJackson
I feel your pain man.....literally. I was up to 20 to 24 10mg (10/325) Hydrocodone (Norco) a.k.a. Lortab, some call it Vicodin I suppose. I'd been on the stuff for a little under 5 years. 12 10mg pills a day was a "good" day where I could "control" it.
On top of that I was going through a divorce/ugly custody battle and got pretty depressed so this one doc started me on Xanax. I wish to God I had NEVER taken one of those. I seriously thought I was dying one weekend when I ran out of those. My mom came by my place and literally broke in because I couldn't even get to the door and took me to the ER where they pumped me full of Vallium and such. Only then did I realize how close to death I actually was. My BP and pulse topped out at highly dangerous levels and untreated I likely would have had at least a stroke, maybe worse.
What most people fail to realize (Mr. Dude Man *ahem*) is that these pain meds aren't usually made for long term use yet some people never recover from their pain and have to be on them for longer periods of time. The Dr.'s are MORE than happy to keep handing you the scripts but condemn you if you abuse them (i.e. take more than they say you need to actually make them work against the pain). What they fail to think of (but know for fact) is that your body only compensates for this stuff over time. So where as the OP might take 120 to just feel normal again, not even acheiving a "high", that same size dose would kill someone like you Mr. Dude Man.
The OP didn't come here and say, "I'm hooked on ILLEGAL drugs" did he??? No. He's hooked on a legally manufactured and sold drug that, in my opinion, is worse than most street drugs out there.
I'm not defending the OP for seeking out that extra 40mg on the side, but having lived that life I can understand why he would. That's one thing I never had to do though thankfully because THERE WAS ALWAYS A DR. WILLING TO WRITE A SCRIPT.
It also sounds as if the OP knows this was wrong and is remorseful of it.
So to those who automatically say "I'll never understand you drug users".....no I suppose you never will. There's no way you can until you walk in their shoes. I pray to my God and whatever you may believe in that you never even once have to go down that road. Because if you did, and you asked for help, the last thing I'd do is point at you and call you weak or mock you.