Sherlock Holmes 2009 - It’s an okay movie, the plot moves, the acting campy but entertaining. There’s a lot of fighting and blowing things up for no particular reason. Robert Downey Jr does his best to look like Dustin Hoffman. 6.5/10
ok so, i have no idea what she may have been doing in the last .. ooh, 15 years or so, but i can offer these thoughts;
1. she was a smoking hot pinup 15+ years ago, incredible tits. When she was still 18yo the UK magazine Zoo sold an issue where you would get a life-sized poster of her, which i bought. Poster got fucked in a house flood, which is a shame because that poster is worth a ton of money today.
2. she got caught when her BF released a home recording of her doing sex stuff.
2b. Keeley Hazell is a south london working-class millennial and it show. From the way she talks to the way she acts when she's not being managed, she has absolutely zero class.
I have no idea if they have been grinding her with acting classes, but from what *i* know of her, she is absolutely not actress material. Like, not at all, no way, zero. I would sooner cast Mia Khalifa than her.
Alice in Borderlands, s2e7:
first major plot hole i've seen in the series- Why did he take off his body armor?
minor plot hole: noone thought of shooting him with a rifle while perched from high up like a building window?
Kinda like that guy did at the Beach massacre.
Edit:
Queen of hearts- Why dont they show her fabulous abs like they did in season 1?
Night Court sucks dog ass.
The only reason they made this was nostalgia. They had zero good ideas for scripts, or jokes. I'm sorry John Larroquette wasted his time. Everyone else is a has-been or a never-was.
John Wick Chapter 4 8.5/10
2 hours and 35 minutes of killing/action. About 14 minutes of ending credits. Worth watching again.
Lost doing body counts, how he survives being shot at, wave assassins after him, falling high, being hit by cars, etc, is beyond me. I would love to have his ballistic suit. Nice fights between Donnie Yen, Marko Zaror, Scott Adkins (in a large body suit), Hiroyuki Sanada, Nice presence of Clancy Brown and Shamier Anderson (tracker). Lance Reddicks last John Wick movie.
John Wick Chapter 4 8.5/10
2 hours and 35 minutes of killing/action. About 14 minutes of ending credits. Worth watching again.
Lost doing body counts, how he survives being shot at, wave assassins after him, falling high, being hit by cars, etc, is beyond me. I would love to have his ballistic suit. Nice fights between Donnie Yen, Marko Zaror, Scott Adkins (in a large body suit), Hiroyuki Sanada, Nice presence of Clancy Brown and Shamier Anderson (tracker). Lance Reddicks last John Wick movie.
a 2001 french film that exists in several different versions, with changes to the plot. It's also in French and dubbed, and while the dub is good, the vastly different phonetics of the two languages are clearly visible in the actors mouths not moving according to the spoken words.
.. i have to admit that it's not an easy film to dub to being with, given that it's also *set* in france, so there are a lot of french names being thrown around, meaning you'd need a dubber who speaks both languages confidently.
This particular version was 2 1/2 hours long and features the full involvement of Monica Bellucci's character. She also does her own dub .. which isn't great.
During the 1700s in france, a province of the kingdom is being ravaged by a mysterious beast, who kills unscrupulously. The protagonist, Gregoire De Fonsac, is an envoy of the king, in his quality as royal taxidermist and generic badass, he is to discover the nature of the beast and capture or kill it. De Fonsac travels with an American Indian sidekick, Mani, whose primary function is to kick ass at a 10-1 ratio.
The film has been criticized for including "martial arts" in what is otherwise a historical setting, but, i don't see the fight scenes in this film as martial arts, but rather as ... kicking? Like, there's a lot of kicking going on. I'm sure french people knew how to kick even in the 1700s.
the beast is a armour-wearing animal whose handler wants to use its presence as a means of showing the King's lack of means to stop it, as political terrorism. A fanatical priest wants to undermine the crown to bring about once more the rule of the clergy.
... which is essentially the Hound Of The Baskerville.
And the film does quite well in telling you up front through the words of the protagonist that this is no supernatural story, while though at the same time visually trying to tell a supernatural story.
It also has the benefits of being a .. well, east-meets-west kinda script. France trying to do Hollywood. While you do get some more interesting cinematography, the pacing is off for an action / suspense film.
I would say that this film is firmly below the much better The Name Of The Rose, which is just medieval-sherlock-Holmes, and mop-haired Samuel Le Bihan does not work well as the lead, but the mixture of action and sleuthing in a European film is something we didn't get to see often, 20 years ago.
My vote: 7/10, even 7.5/10 if you can watch it in the original french.
A horribad 1974 erotic "comedy" that i wanted to see based on a clearly false statement found on wikipedia, "The film features production values comparable to the original serial ".
Yeah, no.
So basically it's 70% of the plot of the 1980 Mike Hodges masterpiece - it's not a case of time travel, it's that the plot comes from the comic books - but with nudity.
Now, everyone here knows i like nudity, but i also like comedy and there is no comedy in this film short of a few really bad puns on the character names, so now we have Emperor Wang instead of Ming, the planet is Porno instead of Mongo, the scientist is Dr Jerkoff .. uh that's it, that's all the comedy you are going to get.
Also, the hottest girl in the film - Suzanne Fields - has all her nude scenes in the very first part of the film, another reason to turn it off early.
Look .. it's not funny. I can think of a few erotic spoofs which are better, the 1976 Alice In Wonderland version, anything by Russ Meyer ( "UP" is my favourite), and i find the actually-a-porno Deep Throat to be hilarious, but this film ain't it.
5/10 because of historical reasons. It actually made 10x its budget at the box office, go figure.
because why not. FOMO obviously, how would i otherwise know this isn't a hidden masterpiece.
But it sucked. if the original sucked, this sucked just as hard. It's dumb and the women aren't even hot. The sets are worse, but in general it's the same kind of awful.
5/10 - if for some weird reason you are a fan of the original.
despite what the press would want you to believe, this is Russ Meyer's masterpiece. That Faster Pussycat thing is rubbish in comparison.
I had to watch it at least 3 times to realize there isn't a plot and i wasnt just dumb.
There is an introductory scene with Adolf Hitler being a sexual pervert who enjoys BDSM, and .. then he's gone. So yeah, it's just a series of really weird erotically-charged scenes with, i have to admit, some pretty damn incredible women. It's funny, too. Somehow Meyer manages to straddle that thin line between sexually-arousing and ridiculous, almost as if wanting to exorcise the shame of eroticism. I mean, what harm can it do? You gotta approach it like that, because rather than being a titillating film masquerading as a comedy, it's a porno that has willingly descended into ridiculousness.
I love the JW movies but this one was a bit exhausting. There are some wonderful scenes with incendiary rounds. They really could have done the whole movie with those and I would have been content. They just don't get old especially if you use some imagination. I think they could easily go with bigger weapons. I think there's a scene in Commando (maybe?) where Arnold has an M134 minigun (50 rounds per second) that is just classic. But I do understand that's not really JW's style. An RPG here and there wouldn't go amiss though. Maybe some Claymores - they're very portable.
With a movie like this you keep thinking 'how the f*** is he going to get out of this?' But the resolution was very satisfying and well within the overall story lines.
Smallville on Hulu, pretty much Superman’s backstory but it’s a story in and of itself. It’s ten seasons long and I only have about two or three episodes left and I’m so sad. I got really attached to everyone and I mean, most of the actors, just…I’m gay. Anyway! Great show, definitely recommend, and I’m going to go and be sad over it ending now.
Thing is, there's a very limited number of ways of killing. And then try to do a magic trick by making it 85% killing but make it go by faster than my first degree FF on the DVR. I'm not fooled.
Thing is, there's a very limited number of ways of killing. And then try to do a magic trick by making it 85% killing but make it go by faster than my first degree FF on the DVR. I'm not fooled.
i replied to your post on my android while on the bus.
A more indepth response is,
I liked JW1. I thought it was a simple, unassuming, well made gangester-action-revenge film with some pretty good shooty bangbangs.
I don't LOVE John Wick 1. I dont think Keanu Reeves acting in it is anything worth writing home about. In one sense, he's probably miscast, as you could have done better with another actor, for example, Bob Odenkirk is a better John Wick in Nobody, despite the fact that the film itself is presumptuous and a worse film than JW1.
However, i do know that the reason why KR is the perfect actor for John Wick, is because the actor can actually do the shit that John Wick the character does.
omfg why did we need to change the forum UI again ?
But, you know, hey. As long as you manage to put out a film that doesn't disgust me, i can live with the fact that it's not amazing either. Because while it's true that most modern films have stuff that's great about them, at the same time they have so much other bad shit crammed into them that i find them unwatchable.
I thought that JW2 was a step down from JW1. Because it's no longer a simple shooty bangbang film and it tries to give depth to a character that, essentially shines because it hasn't got any depth. And frankly, the "backstory" dialogues in JW2 make about as much sense as the Architect speech in Matrix Reloaded.
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