Not getting married now

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Beau

Lifer
Jun 25, 2001
17,730
0
76
www.beauscott.com
Well after getting couciling from my friend and psychologist, Dr. Jim Beam, he has suggested that I post my whine for all fellow AT'ers about what a bitch life can be. As of this evening, I am no longer getting married. "Well how can this be" I heard someone say in the back of the forum. Well, I'll tell you:
It turns out that Terra (my [ex]fiance) has decided that she is too young to get married and has decided to move out and get an apartment with one of her girlfriends. I can understand this. But what I don't understand is that she said she has been feeling this way for a few months. Well, if she would have told me that a few months ago, I wouldn't have signed my name on a new lease for a $1200/mo condo in Salt Lake, and I wouldn't have spent $5k on a honeymoon / marriage on the beach that we were supposed to go on in one month, and I wouldn't have paid for a $1200 wedding ring set. Goddamnit! I frcking devoted the last 5 years of my life working, didn't go to school, so that I could put her through school, so once she graduated, she could turn around and do the same for me. Well no more, she's moving out tomorrow. Guess I'll be moving to. Don't know where though.

Oh well. I won't depress you further by going into detail. Just following the advice of my good Dr. Jimmy Beam.
 
shiner

shiner

Lifer
Jul 18, 2000
17,112
1
0
Been there, done that. Caught my fiancee in bed with another guy two weeks after I gave her the ring. Learn this lesson well: Women suck! I feel for you man. Took me years to get over what she did to me.
 
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b0mbrman

Lifer
Jun 1, 2001
29,470
1
81
OMG...that's awful.

The whole working while putting the girl through college is generally the same plan I was considering taking w/my girlfriend...it doesn't sound so rosy anymore...
 
M

monk3y

Lifer
Jun 12, 2001
12,699
0
76


<< It was her frckin' idea to get married. I was just playing by her wants. What the hell did I do wrong? >>

I highly doubt you did anything wrong, it's just the way women are...
 
shiner

shiner

Lifer
Jul 18, 2000
17,112
1
0


<< What the hell did I do wrong? >>


You're making the #1 mistake people always make in this circumstance, blaming yourself. You can't blame yourself for this. She changed her mind and that is that. It's not about you, it's about her. Stop beating yourself up. I know it's easier said than done. I know you feel as if your heart has been ripped out and stomped on, but it wasn't about something you did. It's about what she wanted.
 
Geekbabe

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,229
2,539
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
aside from offering you my empathy I'd like to also suggest you consult with a lawyer.You put her thru school at the expense of your own education on the promise that she would do the same for you? You lived together long term ? you might well be able to at least recover some of the funds you used to educate her..


It sounds to me like you got used here to put her thru school, I'm so sorry :(
 
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yobarman

Lifer
Jan 11, 2001
11,642
1
0
wow dude you got DICKED over....

i'm sorry man..

are you guys over forever? or just not getting married?

 
bigrash

bigrash

Lifer
Feb 20, 2001
17,648
28
91
damn that sucks. Sorry to hear that.

Can you get the money back from the honeymoon and all that other stuff?
 
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Beau

Lifer
Jun 25, 2001
17,730
0
76
www.beauscott.com


<< aside from offering you my empathy I'd like to also suggest you consult with a lawyer.You put her thru school at the expense of your own education on the promise that she would do the same for you? You lived together long term ? you might well be able to at least recover some of the funds you used to educate her.. It sounds to me like you got used here to put her thru school, I'm so sorry :( >>



Well, I still care for her, and am willing to take it up the ass as far as money goes. We've had our finances mixed for a couple of years now. We've bought things together, incurred debt together and bought cars together. She got about $20k in inheritance a couple of months ago. We're going to use that to pay off all of our debt, then split whatever's left in half.
 
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Beau

Lifer
Jun 25, 2001
17,730
0
76
www.beauscott.com


<< damn that sucks. Sorry to hear that. Can you get the money back from the honeymoon and all that other stuff? >>



I have to take a 20% hit unless they book my room for the same nights.
 
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Beau

Lifer
Jun 25, 2001
17,730
0
76
www.beauscott.com


<< wow dude you got DICKED over.... i'm sorry man.. are you guys over forever? or just not getting married? >>



Too early to tell I'm sure. I don't know. One thing is for sure: she won't be getting my trust again very easily. Definitely not my money either.
 
aphex

aphex

Moderator<br>All Things Apple
Moderator
Jul 19, 2001
38,572
2
91
Im sorry to hear that... Best of luck...
 
Maetryx

Maetryx

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2001
4,849
1
81
Oh crap. I'm sorry. That is a terrible story. There are some silver linings on this, I promise. Consider this: what if she felt this way but told you about it one month AFTER you got married? Doh! Maybe you dodged to bullet after all.

But... crap. Sorry it came down like this on you.
 
H

HappyPuppy

Lifer
Apr 5, 2001
16,997
2
71
Too early to tell I'm sure. I don't know. One thing is for sure: she won't be getting my trust again very easily. Definitely not my money either.

Huh? If someone had done me that way they would never get my trust again, period.
 
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Beau

Lifer
Jun 25, 2001
17,730
0
76
www.beauscott.com


<< Huh? If someone had done me that way they would never get my trust again, period. >>



I've spent 5 years of my life with her. There's no way I can just brush her off with an astounding "NEXT!".

 
Adul

Adul

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
32,999
44
91
danny.tangtam.com
learn from this and move on. You will find someone who will want to be with you married or not. Until then I suggest you just focus on your life for now.
 
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Beau

Lifer
Jun 25, 2001
17,730
0
76
www.beauscott.com


<< learn from this and move on. You will find someone who will want to be with you married or not. Until then I suggest you just focus on your life for now. >>

Easier said than done, but I'm gonna do my damndest!
 
J

Jimbo

Platinum Member
Oct 10, 1999
2,641
0
76


<< I've spent 5 years of my life with her. There's no way I can just brush her off with an astounding "NEXT!". >>


The hell you can't! Give it a week, and NO MORE, and go out there and get some. If you're stuck with the honeymoon package, use that as bait to get them compeating to be the lucky gal that gets to go with you on a sex filled escapade to somewhere exotic. After you cycle through the first one, you will look back and wonder what the hell you were all upset about.
I'm not joking, this really does work. There ain't no sex like rebound sex with women you hardly know.
 
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bizmark

Banned
Feb 4, 2002
2,311
0
0
OMG that sucks so much :(:(:(

I think I'd go insane if that happened to me. My sympathies. And do as shinerburke says, don't blame yourself.

Sh!t Sh!t Sh!t I can't even imagine how terrible you're feeling right now :(
 
Linux23

Linux23

Lifer
Apr 9, 2000
11,374
741
126


<<

<< Huh? If someone had done me that way they would never get my trust again, period. >>



I've spent 5 years of my life with her. There's no way I can just brush her off with an astounding "NEXT!". >>




yup, cause there was no way in hell she could have brushed you off by canceling the wedding and moving out of the apartment.

yup, i would take her back in a heartbeat.
rolleye.gif
 
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