I only suggested to you there was a conscious evolution possible to you that you do not seem to see. I can't make you see it. I wouldn't attempt to make you see it. Everything that you argue here I have known for a very long time. I got some sort of student most likely to succeed in science crap when I graduated from high school. I was the kind of person who had to know myself, personally, just how everything works, not by knowing the formulas in memory but by being able to recreate them myself. I applied that to everything I had been taught to believe in those late high school years and realized to my great agony there was no basis for any of them. The haunting existential questions regarding life purpose and meaning, free will and the like were just matters of local superstition. And the other thing I noticed is that most people never even look or care. I saw that I lived in a world full of people whose intention to self reflect was skin deep and a mile wide with ego. I was an outsider, an anomaly, a freak. All the naive notions and quieting beliefs that others used to avoid the Truth that I knew to be, were useless.
All alone, I thought, I discovered that I was not. That others had made the same journey and were filled not empty like me.
There is another science, one you don't credit properly, and it is the science of conscious states. The vision we have of the world is based on attitude. The hungry man things of food. The lonely man thinks of companionship, the needy man is filled with greed, the man who hates himself lives out of pretense. There is a science to the discovery of motivation, a science of observation. Now, how does the I see itself? How can it achieve a position of unbiased separation where it can look at itself. How can thinking end itself by thinking. How can the ego ever kill itself. This is the world of duality we are trapped within, the prison of the mind, the self that is the prison.
As the existentialist discovers, there is no exit. The scientific fact I had no idea exists is that when the rat that is the thinking mind reaches the end of it's rope and accepts its hopeless fate, something strange can happen. The world can flip over and turn itself inside out. It is the ancient truth of awakening from a dream that has been experienced and spoken of in various ways for thousands of years. I sought the light everywhere with an intense longing only to discover to my great shock that I am the sun. And so are you so shine on you crazy diamond.
Now I am only a very very small and tiny sun, but in the dark you can read by the light of a candle.