New kind of girl thread: How should I come onto my UPS chick

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Kyteland

Diamond Member
Dec 30, 2002
5,747
1
81
Since everyone else is just going to keep flaming you, I'll give you some real advice. This woman is hot (or so you say) and works in a service industry. She delivers packages all day, every day, to all kinds of people. She probably gets hit on all the time, and by now hates it with a passion. She's looking for a paycheck, not a romp in the hay.

Try talking to a woman in a similar situation sometime when she isn't on the job. Ask her about the kinds of people she meets every day. You'll get an earfull about all of the assholes she has to deal with. You'll never hear about "that nice guy who asked me out for a beer after work."

You'll just be another one of the assholes if you pursue this. There's plenty of opportunities to meet women. When they're working isn't it.
 

iwearnosox

Lifer
Oct 26, 2000
16,018
5
0
Originally posted by: Kyteland
You'll just be another one of the assholes if you pursue this. There's plenty of opportunities to meet women. When they're working isn't it.


I met a nurse in the emergency room. Asked her out, had some good times. It's not always a bad idea. :)

 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
15,069
94
91
haha he vanished! i guess his tough schedule of being a loser in his parents basement has his attention for a few minutes. or maybe he is having a gang-bang with like 24 hot chicks that all want his manly package.
 

Martin

Lifer
Jan 15, 2000
29,178
1
81
This thread is too funny.

Pablo, when the time comes, I shall nominate you for "ownage of the year" award. :laugh:
 

dolph

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2001
3,981
0
0
ok, i totally want to help you, smackem. order something delivered via ups. when it arrives, answer the door in a towel. say you just got out of the shower following a 10-mile run (keep it believable), then invite her in for a second. once she comes in, excuse yourself to your bedroom, but have candles lit and barry white playing in the living room (where you've escorted her). come back out of your room after changing into silk boxers, and have a couple of glasses of white wine with you (get an older friend or a parent to buy it for you). sit down next to her and start playing with her hair while she's talking, then say something about how you "got lost in her eyes." now you can kiss her, and sex is sure to follow. good luck, and don't forget to tell us how it went!
 

olds

Elite Member
Mar 3, 2000
50,128
781
126
Originally posted by: sixone
Originally posted by: Runes911
Originally posted by: iwearnosox
Originally posted by: lilFajita
As a 25 year old woman, I can say with confidence that this girl is totally into you. Females my age LOVE young guys who brag constantly about their many conquests, insult people on a computer forum, and open the door in their underwear! When she finds out that you are a master at WOW, she won't be able to keep her pants on. I think you should set up a camera and come on to her and live feed the video to us. You are SO HOT!

How you doin?
rose.gif
:cool:

**Hands iwearnosox a new sarcasm detector** I think yours is broken. :laugh:

Psst...I think yours is not working so well, either...

Text
 

yobarman

Lifer
Jan 11, 2001
11,642
1
0
This thread sucks

I read the first few posts (The OP's post being a real zinger) and the last few posts, and this has got to be a joke.

I thought the internet was bad for lying, but you are a bullshittin' asshole. Even if you only spat out half the sh(t you're talking i still wouldnt believe you.

I hate people like you.
 

jiwq

Platinum Member
May 24, 2001
2,036
0
0
Sure you can have a level 60 character in wow, make tons of money, and have women. Just hire some cheap labor or use bot software to do all the playing for you and sell your gold on ebay.... :confused:
 

exilera

Senior member
Apr 12, 2005
940
0
0
Originally posted by: jiwq
Sure you can have a level 60 character in wow, make tons of money, and have women. Just hire some cheap labor or use bot software to do all the playing for you and sell your gold on ebay.... :confused:

That doesn't explain the women part.

 

TipsyMcStagger

Senior member
Sep 19, 2003
661
0
0
Just do the Quagmire.

Answer the door in your robe (without the wizard hat) next time.

UPS LADY: I have a package for you

YOU: I got a package for you too. *open robe*
 

Kyteland

Diamond Member
Dec 30, 2002
5,747
1
81
Originally posted by: iwearnosox
Originally posted by: Kyteland
You'll just be another one of the assholes if you pursue this. There's plenty of opportunities to meet women. When they're working isn't it.


I met a nurse in the emergency room. Asked her out, had some good times. It's not always a bad idea. :)

I'm not saying that it's *always* a bad idea, but you have to admit that this guy sounds like a tool. He *will* be the asshole in this case.
 

dmcowen674

No Lifer
Oct 13, 1999
54,889
47
91
www.alienbabeltech.com
Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Originally posted by: dmcowen674
Went to local Oil quick lube place yesterday and was surprised to see a girl working there.

She is an exact carbon copy of Sarah Chalke of Scrubs.
Did she look at your junk and laugh?

Actually she was quite a flirt but she can't be any more than 19 or 20.

Was interesting to say the least seeing a pretty girl with dirty hands and oil stained clothes.

 

sonz70

Banned
Apr 19, 2005
3,693
1
0
Originally posted by: Smackem
Before you read this, my main question is:

What do older women 'want to hear' as to up your chance of ending up in bed?
If you can't accept the fact that I am 20 years old, making about 100,000 a year self-employed, sitting at home in the middle of that day because I can do that, and very lucky with ladies my age; do not read on. And if you are reading this from your cubicle, unsatisfied with your sex life, make less than 70,000$ a year or wiegh more than 200 LBS, this thread is just gonna make you mad because you are more than likely not 100% satisfied with a part of your life or your life as a whole. Simply a natural ego defense mechanism. I do not want to ruin your day.

If you want to proofread my thread. PM my mistakes, I will fix them when I want too. Please include the context it was typed in, bold the mistakes and have at least 2 possible ways to fix them. Thanks to all the people who proofread my threads for me, but please just PM me and don't bog up the thread.





Okay, This chick that has delivered my UPS mail is HOT. She is ~25 years old (that may be being nice). I just saw her for the first time yesterday, and I got another one in today. She is FINE. Very nice, and flirty. I auctually had to meet up with her yesterday because I was not there for a package, so UPS gave me her cell phone number to meet up with her.

All this being said, How do you come onto a chick when she is at work.

All I could really think of was to crack a few jokes then end with a, so, if sometime when your not working, would you like to go grab a bite to eat or something? Maybe go out to a bar(more chance of getting laid). I could always call her on her cellphone and ask if she wants to get a beer when she gets off work. I am getting a few more pkgs via UPS so I know I will see her again. She got to see me in my underwear when I answered the door today and she was smiling and starring at my crotch :p. She reminds me of the popular internet photoshoot of the UPS chick. (you know what I am talking about you nerds)

Here is a run down



Really hot UPS chick I have seen in the past 2 days
I am 20.
she may be like ~26
I do not want a relationship in anyway with a UPS girl. (unless it is sexual)
I just would like to have sex with this girl. (This is just between me and the thousands of ppl that read these forums)
This does not rule out a real relationship later down the road. Men fall in lust first, then love.
How do I come on to her while she is at work?
I can tell she kinda digs me. She does the girl 'forced laugh' that makes them sound real nerdy.


What do you guys think?



edit: the real question here, is how to hit on a chick that is older than you. If she was my age or younger this would be a cake walk. I think its gonna be pretty friggin easy. I just don't know what older womer 'want to hear'.



Cliff Notes

I am a 20 yr old high school drop out, who sits at home and pays his parents 100$ a month room and board, and the reason I am at home in the middle of the day is because I am a high school drop out. I sit here and order porn via UPS to just catch a glimpse of this beautifull girl, when I am not in bed thinking about her, I play WOW

please..help me get laid

- Smackem
 

Svnla

Lifer
Nov 10, 2003
17,986
1,388
126
OP said ".....very lucky with ladies my age.." then he said "How do you come onto a chick ".

Hummmm..where is your luck with the ladies? LOL.

OP said "..fact that I am 20 years old, making about 100,000 a year self-employed, sitting at home in the middle of that day.."

Sure you look like Brad Pitt and your house is bigger and better than the Playboy mansion.

OP said "I can tell she kinda digs me".

Yes, she sure is, she loves to see you Adonis body in " underwear when I answered the door today and she was smiling and starring at my crotch". I am sure all of your delievery persons love to watch you in your undie and stare at your private part.

After a long day at work, thanks for making me laugh.
 

sonz70

Banned
Apr 19, 2005
3,693
1
0
Originally posted by: JoeKing
Tell her you'd like to make her face into a glazed donut

Order Krispy Kream donuts delivered via UPS when you do this.


"hmmm looking at these reminds me what I wanna do to you...."
 

OCNewbie

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2000
7,596
25
81
I always assumed QFT meant "Quit Fvcking Typing". I'm thinking that doesn't mean that, so anyone care to enlighten me?
 

Kyteland

Diamond Member
Dec 30, 2002
5,747
1
81
Originally posted by: OCNewbie
I always assumed QFT meant "Quit Fvcking Typing". I'm thinking that doesn't mean that, so anyone care to enlighten me?
Quoted For Truth.

I always thought it was Quit Fvcking Talking.

Edit: in to the sig