Need something humorous to send my best friend in USMC Boot Camp

[Fear No Evil]

Some people aren't pussies and understand that "Freedom isn't free".
Someone has to sacrifice for you to insure that you have all the freedom to be the worthless douche that you are.

This might be the one thing you have said I agree with. I now dislike you less than I did before.

 

[Fear No Evil]

Maybe send him a 'love letter' expressing your man-love for him.

 

[guyver01]

well.. since you said that porn was allowed..

send him a video of you banging his girl.


This will toughen him up to be a marine more than any bootcamp would.

 

[BoomerD]

i wasnt trying to be a douche even though i suspected you guys might react this way. politics aside, how would he feel if his friend came back dead or even worse, horrifically injured and psychologically screwed up? would he think it was worth it from his standpoint? after living like that for a few years i doubt anyone would. and i always vote republican. but i would never let anyone i cared about join the military.

Sounds like a typical chickenhawk republican to me...

 

[Sea Moose]

Sounds like a typical chickenshit to me...

i went ahead and fixed that for you

 

[alfa147x]

How long does usmc training go for? I loved my basic training it was great. But yeah, you can get people into a lot of trouble if their trainers are assholes. Ask the guy firs if you can send chocolate or anything like that. They made us open up our mail in front of everyone.

I didnt get mail, i didnt want it.

3 months + 1 week

 

[Train]

142. “Calvin-Ball” is not authorized PT.

Like hell it isn't!

I've done things WAY more dangerous than Calvin Ball for PT and gotten away with it.

 

[olds]

This might be the one thing you have said I agree with. I now dislike you less than I did before.

Who are you?

 

[FoBoT]

Joe Dirt on DVD

 

[rasczak]

I'm about to receive my commission.
I greatly expect to make a trip to the Sand and Mountains vacation destination within a year of going to my first assignment.

I humbly accept the risks of losing limbs, having shrapnel destroy a healthy mind, or death.... it's what happens.

If you want to live in a country, that country needs a military.

Would you "let" a friend become a police officer? That is not without risks either.

No matter what shape I come back home in, if in any shape, I'll always view it as worth it.
It's a very select group of people who are willing to accept these risks to ensure this great nation stands the test of time and strides through anguish, so that the large majority of people can continue living life the way they always have, if not better.
We stand to protect progress and freedom. Someone has to do it.

If you become friends with someone with such a strong character as to embody this spirit, I most certainly hope you wouldn't talk them out of it. You should be thankful to know someone who can take the greatest risks for such little personal reward.

Thank you.

 

[jlee]

This was absolutely glorious

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

 

[AeroEngy]

My brother went in to the USMC and one of his "friends" who was already a Marine sent him a letter with lipstick marks all over the outside, addressed it to "Sergeant Lastname", and put a picture of a guy in lingerie. The picture was folded so the letter was bulky enough for the DI to open for inspection.

Needless to say it got him in some trouble for being called a Sergeant when he was still a recruit and lots of ribbing from the fellow recruits for the lipstick and dudes in lingerie pics. He was pretty pissed at the time but now looks back at it and laughs.

On a similar story when I was in Army Basic training someone was sent a case of beer which was pretty funny.

The best though was a guy who tried to mail a M-16 round home which got returned to sender by the Post Office for "Irregular shaped object" in an envelope. He had to open it in front of the platoon and got in some serious trouble. I believe either got recycled plus Article 15 and maybe completely kicked out.

 

[Train]

My brother in law (Navy) sent me a birthday card while I was at Parris Island.

It was my 23rd birthday, and the card was a Winnie the Pooh card for a 3 year old that was pink, shiny, and said "Whee, your 3!" on the front. He added a 2 in front of the 3 with a pen. The envelope was pink with glitter and unicorn stickers all over it.

I got quarter-decked (its a Marine thing) for an hour just because. The ordeal sorta sucked (though to be honest by that point getting quarter decked was a good way to pass the time) but now we can laugh about it.

Depending on his DI, get some chicks to take pictures of thier boobs. My DI gave a free phone call if you could get legitimate boobs (nothing cut out of a magazine) sent in from actual girls. A phone call while in boot camp was a big deal. 13 weeks with no phone, getting to say whats up to someone back home for a few minutes was actualy kinda cool.

Don't try anything illegal like booze or cigarettes, this could backfire and actually get him in REAL trouble.

 

[BoomerD]

My brother in law (Navy) sent me a birthday card while I was at Parris Island.

It was my 23rd birthday, and the card was a Winnie the Pooh card for a 3 year old that was pink, shiny, and said "Whee, your 3!" on the front. He added a 2 in front of the 3 with a pen. The envelope was pink with glitter and unicorn stickers all over it.

I got quarter-decked (its a Marine thing) for an hour just because. The ordeal sorta sucked (though to be honest by that point getting quarter decked was a good way to pass the time) but now we can laugh about it.

Depending on his DI, get some chicks to take pictures of thier boobs. My DI gave a free phone call if you could get legitimate boobs (nothing cut out of a magazine) sent in from actual girls. A phone call while in boot camp was a big deal. 13 weeks with no phone, getting to say whats up to someone back home for a few minutes was actualy kinda cool.

Don't try anything illegal like booze or cigarettes, this could backfire and actually get him in REAL trouble.

Ah yes...the quarterdeck...what memories that brings back. What a wonderful motivational tool that was...

When I went through "recruit training," we weren't allowed phone calls for anything less than a life-or-death emergency...and even then, it was rare.

No food from home, no cigarettes/chew, photos had to meet the DI's approval or they either got put in your personal effects...or destroyed.

I enjoyed boot camp. For me, it was a lot of fun...with lots of hard work...and it helped get me ready for the job at hand.

 

[mcveigh]

Just send him some random gay porn and a bag of snickers or other candy.
the more time on the quarter-deck will make a better Marine of him.

 

[jersiq]

Ah yes...the quarterdeck...what memories that brings back. What a wonderful motivational tool that was...

The "pit" was a million times better than the quarterdeck. Nothing quite like doing flutterkicks in sand, grabbing sand with your hands and tossing it straight up in the air to land on you. Oh yeah, with sand fleas biting the crap out of you. You then got to enjoy having sand up your asscrack until nightly showers.

 

[alfa147x]

Would it be a good idea to send him an article or two that he might find interesting?

 

[Spg]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sea Moose View Post
How long does usmc training go for? I loved my basic training it was great. But yeah, you can get people into a lot of trouble if their trainers are assholes. Ask the guy firs if you can send chocolate or anything like that. They made us open up our mail in front of everyone.

I didnt get mail, i didnt want it.
3 months + 1 week

Non-infantry Marines will attend a course called Marine Combat Training for 29 days, then proceed to the appropriate school for their Military Occupational Specialty (which vary in length). Infantry Marines attend the Infantry Training Battalion for 59 days. Then these newly-trained Marines are assigned to their first unit.

When you send him mail make sure you put plenty of perfume on it. Food can go either way depending on what mood they are in. Good mood, they might have him pass it out and he might or might not get some himself. Bad mood, he eats it all.

He might not think it is fun while it is happening, but looking back it will be a great time.

 

[Train]

The "pit" was a million times better than the quarterdeck. Nothing quite like doing flutterkicks in sand, grabbing sand with your hands and tossing it straight up in the air to land on you. Oh yeah, with sand fleas biting the crap out of you. You then got to enjoy having sand up your asscrack until nightly showers.

The pit was good for the platoon, but nothing beats the "personal" attention you can get on the quarter deck

 

[jersiq]

The pit was good for the platoon, but nothing beats the "personal" attention you can get on the quarter deck

Heh, we used to go down there individually as well as with the platoon.

 

[Train]

Heh, we used to go down there individually as well as with the platoon.

ya, been there a few times either alone or in small groups, but usually, it was everyone.

Our 3rd hat favorite thing to do was "snatch bitches out the rack" about 30 minutes before morning lights, then put them back in the squadbay just on time to get online. The senior would stand there wondering why a handful of recruits were drenched in sweat.

 

[alfa147x]

ya, been there a few times either alone or in small groups, but usually, it was everyone.

Our 3rd hat favorite thing to do was "snatch bitches out the rack" about 30 minutes before morning lights, then put them back in the squadbay just on time to get online. The senior would stand there wondering why a handful of recruits were drenched in sweat.

wait what? put what back in the squadbay (?)