Your not assuming, but you are young. All the people I know that are older have said the exact same thing. She wants out, she wants to date and see other people and see if she can find something better. Those are old enough to have gone through that or had friends go through that know EXACTLY what she is saying. Her actions are VERY VERY common. Everyone over 25 should know at least 1 girl that has done this exact thing.
Your not assuming, but you are young. All the people I know that are older have said the exact same thing. She wants out, she wants to date and see other people and see if she can find something better. Those are old enough to have gone through that or had friends go through that know EXACTLY what she is saying. Her actions are VERY VERY common. Everyone over 25 should know at least 1 girl that has done this exact thing.
27, and I could name at least 3 relationships, other than mine, that has gone through this. Not always the girl, sometimes the guy does this too. But normally, it's the girl that phrases it this way. If it was the guy doing this, she would automatically say you are cheating on her and you are a jerk that wont accept her. Since it's the girl doing this, we are all supposed to be sensitive guys and try to help her fullfill her needs. Screw that. You have needs too. This is 50/50.
I didn't take the time to read the other posts, so I apologize if this was said before. But she's wanting to have her cake and eat it too. She's being honest. She wants to marry you, but doesn't want to sacrifice going out and partying (and/or sleeping with more guys). I would say if she's not willing to sacrifice all that for you now, she probably won't after the wedding. If she demands her freedom, see it as a sign from God to get out.
Uh-huh, you guys could all be right on the money too.
tommigsr needs to be asking her what exactly she means.
That will answer his question.
Just dont assume or insert your own definitions into what is going on.
tommigsr needs to be asking her what exactly she means.
That will answer his question.
Just dont assume or insert your own definitions into what is going on.
I have been married for 9 years, and I probably know what she is thinking. She is BORED. It is the same crap, over and over. I know that I have had enough, but I am comfortable. I know that is selfish, but hey, it is the truth!
My ex wife was just like your girl. Get rid of her asap!
Too much stress, and what ifs. Find yourself a new girl, and never look back. I still have contact with my ex because we have a 11 year old daughter together.
I still love her, and she loves me, but we had to move on. It is okay to be friends, but never expect to get back with her.
My ex wife was just like your girl. Get rid of her asap!
Too much stress, and what ifs. Find yourself a new girl, and never look back. I still have contact with my ex because we have a 11 year old daughter together.
I still love her, and she loves me, but we had to move on. It is okay to be friends, but never expect to get back with her.
She's playing you. Cut her loose, that will whip her back into shape or she'll bail, either way you will be better off. But to be fair, I haven't read this whole thread, and you called her your fiance, so maybe she still wants to be with you and just isn't ready to get married, and this is her way of delaying it without coming out and actually saying so.
I'll chime in again and say...
Her reaction and story is VERY, VERY common. She wants out.
I'd suggest giving her an ultimatum or simply saying "I hope you find what your looking for with somebody else, I wish you sincerely the best of luck and have really enjoyed our time together. We can work on our assets tomorrow."
Her reaction and story is VERY, VERY common. She wants out.
I'd suggest giving her an ultimatum or simply saying "I hope you find what your looking for with somebody else, I wish you sincerely the best of luck and have really enjoyed our time together. We can work on our assets tomorrow."
This is the first and only post I have read in this thread. Typical kinda crap you hear from one of the dumbest animals on earth (Women). That is garbage, she's just putting you off till she is "ready". pffff. If she really cared about you or wanted to be with you she would, no matter what. This is just plain garbage dude (typical I only care about myself kinda stuff), and if you wait out for her you are a sucker. Even if she does "have more fun" before settling down, do you think you will feel good about having your girl go out and screw a hundred guys jusat so you will still be there waiting for here??? THAT IS A CROCK OF SH!T! Move on dude, this girl sounds like your typical survivor contestant. I am being very serious too. I know I might come off like a dick, but that is one hell of a slap in the face. If you let her use you like this, your marriage won't last long. You gotta stand up to that girl and say "This is Fvcking BULLSH!T" That is exactly what it is man, and if you don't think so you need to re-evaluate things. I hope things work out for the best, but man you gotta put your foot down that gets me irritated just thinking about that.
Ummm, yes it can.... and thats what she wants.
It's obvious, move on, forget about her, or try to. I've seen similar situations.
Am I the only one here that sees the big picture?
Way too many people get married TOO damn young, before they have experienced life, and all to often because of THIS, the marriage doesn't last. I think she at least SEE'S this, and doesn't want to fall into that trap.
Remember the old saying. "If you love something, set it free. If it returns to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it NEVER was."
Way too many people get married TOO damn young, before they have experienced life, and all to often because of THIS, the marriage doesn't last. I think she at least SEE'S this, and doesn't want to fall into that trap.
Remember the old saying. "If you love something, set it free. If it returns to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it NEVER was."
err, she talks regularly with her exes? she is already cheating on you, at least thats what it sounds like....
that's because she is probably getting it somewhere else... thats why she appares to not want it much..
Sometimes I wonder whether you're a chick or a guy. You think more like a guy than anyone else, and your posts reflec that. LOL!
LOL Somehow I'm doubting your qualifications to give relationship advice as much as I'm doubting tommimsgr's qualifications to be in the relationship
I wish i had something better to say, but it sounds like she doesn't love you. She's bored beacuse she's young and her routine life probably reminds her of her parents, which scares the hell out of her. So she wants someone who can keep the excitement level up. Bullsh1t, i know. Sorry
Originally posted by: Jzero
LOL Somehow I'm doubting your qualifications to give relationship advice as much as I'm doubting tommimsgr's qualifications to be in the relationship
Heh, ok, so I'm just judging her by the standards of other women I know, who have acted similarly. It doesn't mean Im right at all. Just simply talking to her exes regularly doesnt mean anything, but that combined with everything else Ive seen posted by him makes it add up to that.
Vic
Elite Member
- Jun 12, 2001
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I agree... he should set her free. But he shouldn't expect her to come back. Because she won't.
Tommy, ask yourself a question. If you were to have been the first to suggest the same thing to her, that you should be able to see other women but also be able to come back to her at anytime, what do you think her reaction would have been?
Exactly. What she has proposed to you is unacceptable in any relationship. She is being selfish on an order so exteme that it would defy comprehension if this kind of thing wasn't so common.
Get out. She doesn't love you. Sorry.
Originally posted by: Jzero
LOL Somehow I'm doubting your qualifications to give relationship advice as much as I'm doubting tommimsgr's qualifications to be in the relationship
haha, doubting me in a relationship? SHlT i doubt myself in a relationship. i'm gonna have a really long talk with her tonight...see what comes about...i can't sleep or work or do anything cuz i keep thinking about it. it's weird cuz she's working right now and occasionally she comes down and gives me a kiss like usual.
Now I'm following you
Actually, I don't think she's made the move yet. Probably not with an ex if she has. But I'd bet the farm she's got her eye on someone else already.
It sounds like its over. I dont know if I'd go as far as to say shes already cheating on you, but at the very least shes having thoughts and considering it.
You dont need to break up, you need a break. Let her experience life, and do the same yourself. Being in a relationship is cool and all, but youve both gone too far too fast. Freshman year is waaaay too early to be engaged. She's been with you so long she forgets what its like without you. And vice versa.
Give it two or three months. Let her be for that time, dont hound her. Enjoy being single for a while. After a couple of months off, both of you will know whether you want to start it up again or not. I know it sounds ridiculous right now, but theres a very good chance that you yourself will feel different about HER in a few months. If its meant to be, itll come back together.
You dont need to break up, you need a break. Let her experience life, and do the same yourself. Being in a relationship is cool and all, but youve both gone too far too fast. Freshman year is waaaay too early to be engaged. She's been with you so long she forgets what its like without you. And vice versa.
Give it two or three months. Let her be for that time, dont hound her. Enjoy being single for a while. After a couple of months off, both of you will know whether you want to start it up again or not. I know it sounds ridiculous right now, but theres a very good chance that you yourself will feel different about HER in a few months. If its meant to be, itll come back together.
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