Need Advice! Fiance of mine wants to experience more...UPDATED!

[tommigsr]

My fiance and I have been together for approximately 2 years and so so months. We got together when we were freshmens in college. Our relationship has been the best and it's gotten to the point where our lives are set as a routine. We work together at the same place and our fathers work there as well. Everything is as perfect as could be, except for one problem. She feels that she is too young to get married and that she hasn't experienced enough before me.

She says that I came too soon in her life. She wants to have fun before settling down... As for me...I'm all for her going out to experience whatever she needs, because I love her so.

She also says that I am the one that she will marry at the end, no matter what happens.

I'm in such a weird situation, but I don't want to hold her back on what she wants to do that would make her happy. It's something that I guess could help both sides.

Please be considerate of your inputs. This is a very serious matter. Thank you in advance.

update!
okay, i got the facts straight. She doesn't want to go out with other guys persay, but she does want to spend more time with her close friends. As we always spend time together, she hasn't had time to really gone out with them in awhile and would like to catch up on old times. She wants some space from me, but not completely. She wants to be able to live the life before me, until then, our engagement is held off, which is fine by me.

I guess she panicked when it came time to plan for the wedding. She projected over $60,000.00 for the wedding... I saw the numbers...catering and everything I was blown away, but I knew we could get that amount of $ if we worked hard and saved...but I have to let her go for now...she loves me, I know this. She will come back.

Thank you for everyone's help on this matter, it's always been helpful as always.

 

[minendo]

She says that I came too soon in her life. She wants to have fun before settling down... As for me...I'm all for her going out to experience whatever she needs, because I love her so.

She also says that I am the one that she will marry at the end, no matter what happens.

That is a load of crap. You have/will become to fall back guy.

 

[Toasthead]

I dont get it

If she is so sure you are the one then why does she feel the need to go and experience more?

 

[GoingUp]

load of bs....

you want her out banging other guys if thats what she needs?

 

[FoBoT]

sounds like she wants to break up and doesn't have the balls to dump you straight out

move to another city and call her in 3 years or not

 

[isekii]

Originally posted by: minendo

She says that I came too soon in her life. She wants to have fun before settling down... As for me...I'm all for her going out to experience whatever she needs, because I love her so.

She also says that I am the one that she will marry at the end, no matter what happens.

That is a load of crap. You have/will become to fall back guy.

well said

 

[amnesiac]

Wait, she agreed to marry you now wants to screw around a bit before you tie the knot?

1) She has issues
2) She's too young to get married
3) She has major issues
4) She's flaky, and has issues
5) If she was truly "the one" for you and vice versa you wouldn't be having this talk
6) Suggest that she might enjoy "swinging"
7) Bitch got issues, and you gonna pay.

 

[crt1530]

I'll rephrase her position.

"I want you to wait around for me while I go and sleep with other guys and see if I can find somebody better than you."

 

[DarkManXY2G]

Originally posted by: Toasthead
I dont get it

If she is so sure you are the one then why does she feel the need to go and experience more?

I was just thinking that. What a load of crap. It sounds to me like you would be the fall back guy if she didn't find something better. Don't take offence just my opinion.

 

[Encryptic]

I think she's not the woman you want to marry. If she thinks she hasn't experienced enough before getting married, then I think she's saying that she's bored with you and wants to move on. Don't push her to get married, or you may end up with her cheating on you or disappearing one day.

As someone else said, you're going to be the fallback guy if you aren't already.

 

[fastz28]

What is it that she wants to experience?

edit: Check out this short indy movie: Home Base

 

[rudder]

Originally posted by: Gobadgrs
load of bs....

you want her out banging other guys if thats what she needs?

maybe its not other guys she wants. She may have conflicting thoughts at this point.

 

[Graphicd00d]

Originally posted by: fastz28
What is it that she wants to experience?

DHITB

 

[jdogg]

i'll let her EXPERIENCE me ;-)

 

[xyion]

This exact same thing happened to my friend and his girlfriend of 3 years. They met the first week of freshman year of college. Long story short, she's dating a mutual friend of ours (me and the guy) and he's heartbroken. She still calls him and stuff, but refuses to admit she is dating someone else (and it?s blatantly obvious that she is, mind you).

Don?t do it man. Break it off with her immediately if she tried to do this. It?s not worth your sanity.

 

[tommigsr]

see all these thoughts ran into my head. i'm so confused

 

[ragazzo]

Drop her and move on. Don't look back.

 

[crumpet19]

Dude, if you deny her this then she'll likely leave you or resent you. If you allow her this then she'll likely never come back to you.. and at best you'll be her fallback. You could always allow her this.. but you'd have to realize that it would never be the same again. If she comes back to you then you'll have to accept that she's been with other guys.

I've been in the this type of situation before and I'm really sorry for you. I had to ask myself that if her heart really did belong to me, why would she want to be with someone else? I decided that she wasnt the one for me.

Good luck with wich ever you decide.

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: tommigsr
see all these thoughts ran into my head. i'm so confused

Before you do anything, sit down and talk to her. See what it is she is looking to experience, etc.

 

[poopaskoopa]

Justin, you've become a "Plan B".

 

[OutHouse]

if that is the way she feels then she does not love you. If she did love you she would want to "experience" those things with you instead of brushing you aside and looking for somebody else to "experience" them with.

to me she is saying, you are second best, im going to go find somebody better.

 

[tommigsr]

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: tommigsr
see all these thoughts ran into my head. i'm so confused

Before you do anything, sit down and talk to her. See what it is she is looking to experience, etc.

good point, i willl do that. it's not the physical aspect that she's looking for. more emotional support. but in any relationship, there will be phsyical..and i can't help but think what will happen you know?

 

[Sust]

LOL!
he said, "DHITB"

Man that sux. It's a shame that you two got so far along in a serious relationship only to stop now.
Maybe you guys havent been talking about this stuff?
If you had, then maybe there would have been signs along the way that she was having some hesitation?

IMO, do not hold her back.
You can try to tell her how you honestly feel about things and if she still leaves then so be it.
Good luck and I hope things turn out okay for you.
If she moves on, you should too.
Enjoy life... go for a spin on the Man Show's wheel of destiny or something

 

[DarkManXY2G]

Originally posted by: Citrix
if that is the way she feels then she does not love you. If she did love you she would want to "experience" those things with you instead of brushing you aside and looking for somebody else to "experience" them with.

to me she is saying, you are second best, im going to go find somebody better.

Well said. Anyway, good luck with however you decide to deal with this. I do think that you should sit down and talk to her about it before you ake a decision. You owe yourself that at least.

 

[Jzero]

Move along. When you look back at this time in your life think about the bullet you narrowly dodged.