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National Coming Out Day

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Specop 007 said:
Proof? Where did I insinuate anything? It was a clear question. The fact you feel the need to twist my words to prove your point....Well, cant help you.
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I'm not twisting anything. You insinuated (not subtly) that you believe someone being "too extreme" should be prepared for the consequences. In doing so, you remove some of the blame from the perpetrators of the bigotry.
 
Platypus said:
well fuck, there goes any hope of this thread being used for good.

If anyone is reading this, I urge you to take advantage of this day, even if it's just in PM. Knowing there are people out there you can talk to is essential.
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Sorry. 🙁 Unfortunately, better couldn't be given by ATOT. Regardless, those in need should PM this guy.
 
TheVrolok said:
I'm not twisting anything. You insinuated (not subtly) that you believe someone being "too extreme" should be prepared for the consequences. In doing so, you remove some of the blame from the perpetrators of the bigotry.
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I didnt insinuate it. I said it. If you push things to the extreme you should expect attention from it. Thats not removing blame from the perpetrators at all. Its simple common sense.

It doesnt make it right to be targeted for extreme behavior but lets not act like naive fools here ok?
 
Specop 007 said:
So you feel compelled to share to the world your gayality? Ok. Deep down you just have to share your sexuality. I rest my case.
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Specop 007 said:
My answers are as follows....

Holding hands or some such? Well congrats, you identified yet another asshole in the world. Such is life and theres no shortage of asshats in the world.

Dressed in full drag and high heels? Well, if you dont want to be a target dont paint one on your back.

I'm a firm believer in "If you dont want trouble, dont go looking for it".
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You answer your own question. Why do they feel the need to proclaim their sexuality? Because the message all around them is that there is a risk to do so. It isn't as easy as "be who you are" for them because people like you think being who they are automatically makes them fair game for criticism and ridicule. Is asking for trouble, in your own words.

Because of that it takes courage for them to be open about who they are, and that takes community support and encouragement, which can take the shape of "proclaiming".

And the more proclaiming their is, the fewer people there will be that will see any reason to target them. That means they can go out in public and hold hands without expecting criticism AND without being "naive fools".
 
Platypus said:
well fuck, there goes any hope of this thread being used for good.

If anyone is reading this, I urge you to take advantage of this day, even if it's just in PM. Knowing there are people out there you can talk to is essential.
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I think it did plenty of good. Areacode's post above, all of this is the kind of discussion that does good.
 
Platypus said:
Last week I was at a crosswalk with my boyfriend and someone said to me "hey what are you looking at you fucking lovely human?" I said "uh.. what are you talking about?" and he said "I hope you get AIDS and die."

So yeah.. it's not pretty out there. That isn't *that* common but it happens every few weeks or so. I'm not much for confrontation and this dude looked really unstable so I just walked away.
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Wow . . . shocking. even with a city that has its own boystown that's not the ghetto (far from it)? I thought (naively, apparently) it really didn't happen all that often since the city's fairly integrated.

Wowee.
 
Schadenfreude said:
Wow . . . shocking. even with a city that has its own boystown that's not the ghetto (far from it)? I thought (naively, apparently) it really didn't happen all that often since the city's fairly integrated.

Wowee.
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Boystown is largely just a gay commercial strip these days with fewer gays actually living in Lakeview, which has become an affluent neighborhood. A lot of gays have moved into other neighborhoods on the north side (particularly Uptown and Edgewater) with older and more mixed populations that had until the last decade been pretty rough.

Attitudes differ largely neighborhood to neighborhood but are always somewhat in flux due to increasing acceptance overall. The last pride parade was attended by 800K people this year, double from a couple years ago.
 
Schadenfreude said:
Wow . . . shocking. even with a city that has its own boystown that's not the ghetto (far from it)? I thought (naively, apparently) it really didn't happen all that often since the city's fairly integrated.

Wowee.
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Yeah I don't live in boystown anymore, I saw much less of it there, but I am a bit further north in Andersonville and it's still a mixed bag up there.

Most of the tires on the pride parade (which happens in boystown) floats were slashed this past year though. Far from a perfect picture.
 
AreaCode707 said:
You answer your own question. Why do they feel the need to proclaim their sexuality? Because the message all around them is that there is a risk to do so. It isn't as easy as "be who you are" for them because people like you think being who they are automatically makes them fair game for criticism and ridicule. Is asking for trouble, in your own words.

Because of that it takes courage for them to be open about who they are, and that takes community support and encouragement, which can take the shape of "proclaiming".

And the more proclaiming their is, the fewer people there will be that will see any reason to target them. That means they can go out in public and hold hands without expecting criticism AND without being "naive fools".
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this, and the general idea that coming out simply exposes the broader population to how prevalent, and how constant different sexualities have existed.

Gayness is not something that suddenly happened in 1980. It's been around with humans as long as we have been humans. It has existed at roughly the same statistical rate.

The idea is that those who are willing to understand but don't, those who are unwilling to understand, or whatever, will then realize that this has been around them all along, despite their prejudices. It might shock them that their seemingly infallible ability to judge someone's character and nature has been wrong all along; but that's merely part of introducing those who remain in the dark about this long-standing community to the fact that people they have known all their lives, and of whom individual biases and assumptions never would have presented these people as "differently-inclined."

I know that the majority of Christians are not raging uneducated lunatics like Rick Perry, despite the fact that they are the loudest and wish to represent everyone in that community; just as I know the majority of homosexuals are not Priscilla the Drag Queen, despite the fact that they are the loudest and choose to be representative.

The general hetero community doesn't seem to understand this fact, so coming out days and "Hey, I'm gay--what do you think about that?" continue to be necessary.
 
Platypus said:
Yeah I don't live in boystown anymore, I saw much less of it there, but I am a bit further north in Andersonville and it's still a mixed bag up there.

Most of the tires on the pride parade (which happens in boystown) floats were slashed this past year though. Far from a perfect picture.
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You moved to Dikeville!

:awe:
 
Specop 007 said:
So you feel compelled to share to the world your gayality? Ok. Deep down you just have to share your sexuality. I rest my case.
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i have no idea how this is any different from mother fuckers pushing their heterosexuality on me.

FUCK ALL OF YOU.

ASEXUALITY FOR THE MOTHER FUCKING WIN.
 
Platypus said:
lol, you call it that, I call it a neighborhood with realistic, down to earth gays who don't care that the shirt you're wearing is from last year. 😉
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what about 5 year-old shirts? Cause that's about as current as I get.

Hell, I still wear a few t-shirts that I wore in high school. 😀
 
I just have one more thing to add to this thread. My cute lesbian friend once told me I was the only guy she ever found somewhat attractive. One of the awesomest things anyone has ever said to me.:wub:
 
chihlidog said:
I just have one more thing to add to this thread. My cute lesbian friend once told me I was the only guy she ever found somewhat attractive. One of the awesomest things anyone has ever said to me.:wub:
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Hmm... Not sure how to take that. I think she was saying you look like a chick :^P
 
Platypus said:
If anyone is reading this, I urge you to take advantage of this day, even if it's just in PM. Knowing there are people out there you can talk to is essential.
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^ This. Nothing else matters. Particularly not the trolls in this thread.

Someone was there for me in 2003, when I needed it. Review the "it gets better" project -- some of the videos out there are a bit meh, but the meaning is sincere. Come out... you need it, and so does the world. 🙂
 
Specop 007 said:
Its amazing to me how determined gays are to share their sexuality with the world. Its as if they feel obligated to share that fact.
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It's not obligation, it's pride! Or, so we are told (again, and again, and again)....

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go see if I can get my eyelids glued shut by my wife's cooch.
 
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