Additionally, jumping into another relationship is a bad idea because you'll be bringing a whole load of baggage that you haven't properly dealt with and the other person in the relationship deserves better than that.
pmoa
Platinum Member
- Dec 24, 2001
- 2,623
- 4
- 81
I am going through this as we speak. She is only 21 and she needs to figure out her life and if she comes back just be civil and be a friend to her. Since there is no ring on her finger she's not yours. I told her last night that if you want to talk to me, talk to me, but I am going to stop going out of my way for her. I am devastated. she just needs to figure out her life and you need to understand that. she still cares for you and always will. Believe that. You'll be ok man. NOW GO SPEND SOME CASH! 
Sorry to be frank, but -
From some previous posts I saw of yours you hadn't gotten a haircut in like 17 years, smoked dope all the time, and were unemployed.
Don't know if any of this is still true, but if it is - man, get your life together.
Focus on bettering yourself and the rest falls into place.
From some previous posts I saw of yours you hadn't gotten a haircut in like 17 years, smoked dope all the time, and were unemployed.
Don't know if any of this is still true, but if it is - man, get your life together.
Focus on bettering yourself and the rest falls into place.
Adul
Elite Member
maybe she will come around and tell you. Then again maybe she doesn't want to tell you as the news would hurt you more...
Adul
Elite Member
mobobuff
Lifer
- Apr 5, 2004
- 11,099
- 1
- 81
Personally I don't believe in "breaks", especially in relationships that have lasted more than a few years. Once someone leaves, the relationship is over. You tell her that once she leaves, the door is shut and locked, and never being opened again. Even if you don't believe you're strong enough, just bluff it and make sure she understands it. If you leave the door open, man, it's going to hurt for a long time.
To be honest, she doesn't sound like a very stable or wise person. She sounds gullible, indecisive and withdrawn. I've been where you are though, and I've heard people try to say things like what I'm saying. It always feels like the people trying to give you advice don't have all the facts, and they don't share your knowledge of the person who just left you. Part of you wants to stick up for them, or at least stick up for the part of you that loves them, but the better part of your conscience tells you that it's just plain stupid to defend someone that's causing you pain. All things considered... it's just a very fscking confusing time, with a lot of internal conflicts. You just have to try and stay sane until it's not so confusing anymore. It's a battle between strong emotion and common sense, but common sense always wins... just takes some time.
To be honest, she doesn't sound like a very stable or wise person. She sounds gullible, indecisive and withdrawn. I've been where you are though, and I've heard people try to say things like what I'm saying. It always feels like the people trying to give you advice don't have all the facts, and they don't share your knowledge of the person who just left you. Part of you wants to stick up for them, or at least stick up for the part of you that loves them, but the better part of your conscience tells you that it's just plain stupid to defend someone that's causing you pain. All things considered... it's just a very fscking confusing time, with a lot of internal conflicts. You just have to try and stay sane until it's not so confusing anymore. It's a battle between strong emotion and common sense, but common sense always wins... just takes some time.
AstroCreep
Member
- Jan 13, 2004
- 190
- 0
- 0
Eli - How are you doing today? Things getting any easier yet?
As far as her saying "I'll come back later if he wants me" is actually a pretty arrogant thing for her to say.
Now given, I don't know her or what she's like, but to me it sounds like a "He'll wait for me" or a "He won't stray" kind of a thing.
Sounds like she might have a few issues she needs to work through...
As far as her saying "I'll come back later if he wants me" is actually a pretty arrogant thing for her to say.
Now given, I don't know her or what she's like, but to me it sounds like a "He'll wait for me" or a "He won't stray" kind of a thing.
Sounds like she might have a few issues she needs to work through...
CRXican
Diamond Member
- Jun 9, 2004
- 9,062
- 1
- 0
I can't say I sympathize, never had a serious relationsihp. And it's stories like this that mke me wonder what the point is. I realize it's fun and happy and you get affection and sex and such but you spend tons of money and invest so much time just to have it all go to waste in the end when one party decides to GTFO.
sad
sad
I would agree. Either she is having issues personally, and still likes you -- HIGHLY DOUBT IT. Or more likely, she doesn't like you in that way (she doesn't feel that way abaout you), thinks you're a nice guy, but doesn't want to hurt you so she said that.
I say go out with friends for a while, don't brood. Friends will always cheer you up a bit.
This is 6 months into your future.
My long-term girlfriend left me as well (I know I posted about it here on ATOT). I swore she and I were perfect for each other. However, she did have radical parents and she was clearly undecisive on both small and serious issues, making discussions annoying at best.
The girl I'm with now is fantastic. Hear me? F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. She's even better than the last, we definately enjoy each other more, her mom is great, and she's in a prestigious all-girls college (so I don't have to worry about guys). She's the cuddliest, cutest, and definately smartest girl I've been with.
I'm very glad that I met this girl, but this isn't about me, it's about you.
The point of my story was to show you that things will only get better. It'll be hard, and believe me, especially in such a relationship you had, you will more than likely compare her to your next girlfriend. Don't do it. It's not fair to you or your next one.
You'll feel love again, proof is that you were once before.
Stay alive and enjoy it, trust me in this. =0)
My long-term girlfriend left me as well (I know I posted about it here on ATOT). I swore she and I were perfect for each other. However, she did have radical parents and she was clearly undecisive on both small and serious issues, making discussions annoying at best.
The girl I'm with now is fantastic. Hear me? F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. She's even better than the last, we definately enjoy each other more, her mom is great, and she's in a prestigious all-girls college (so I don't have to worry about guys). She's the cuddliest, cutest, and definately smartest girl I've been with.
I'm very glad that I met this girl, but this isn't about me, it's about you.
The point of my story was to show you that things will only get better. It'll be hard, and believe me, especially in such a relationship you had, you will more than likely compare her to your next girlfriend. Don't do it. It's not fair to you or your next one.
You'll feel love again, proof is that you were once before.
Stay alive and enjoy it, trust me in this. =0)
This forum is helping me out as well because I've been going through the samething since last week. So many emotions run through me throughout the day, but I guess it's getting better everyday. Cheer up Eli! I'm right there with ya.
not any better i'm afraid.. I haven't been able to keep anything down... I feel like I'm dead but still alive...
arcenite
Lifer
- Dec 9, 2001
- 10,660
- 7
- 81
Cmon man you're better than this. You apparently let her in through your emotional security and she took a uzi to all the guards from the inside out. Eh, replace the guards there buddy
She obviously isn't the kind of girl you want to be with, not today anyway. Maybe in a year or two years if she does decide to come back and she is a difference person, you can give her a chance but you must never give a girl that kind of control over your emotions until after you're married atleast 20 years TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 25K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes + WCL Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 24K
-
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread- Started by TheF34RChannel
- Replies: 23K
-
-
Facebook
Twitter