My girlfriend called it quits last night....

[Meep]

Sorry to hear about this Slimline, but take good advice of what someone said previous and that is do not dwell on the fact that there may be someone else. Going through this a few times personally (and I'm not very good at relationships post-facto) I've found myself dwelling on that possibility. I'm not sure about your case because each is unique, but for me, it just seemed like a good way to cop out in finding a reason for "why". I've pretty much come to realize that there may not be an answer as to "why it happened". She can tell you one thing, but most likely it's such a complicated complexion of various different things that ultimately caused the breakup. In the beginning, it IS impossible to try to stop thinking about her, but it WILL get better as time goes on. Try to do something else in your life, go out with some friends, try something new. What worked for me mostly was that I went to the local gym and played a lot of basketball etc etc. Know that your friends are there for you when you need them.

One small piece of advise which may or may not concern you. I had a problem where my ex was good friends with pretty much most of my friends as well (high school sweetheart), and I put my friends in a tough place where they had to decide between me and my ex. Try not to do that, realize that your friends are probably in a very precarious situation as well. Best of luck on moving on and finding that someone on down the road. (It WILL happen)

 

[PanzerIV]

Slimline there is an old saying I am sure you've heard that states "it's always darkest before the dawn." It's very true and you will get through this but for now it's going to be very hard but you must hang in there. If you don't feel like going out with friends or doing anything then don't. Gradually you are going to want to get back into the routine of life without her and you'll slowly feel better about yourself and life in general. Then you are going to start eyeing other girls and realize how much variety there is out there and that you've got a long life ahead of you to enjoy.

Be misererable for now, it's perfectly natural. But keep in mind it won't last and you have a support system behind you in the form of friends and family. Like another poster said don't even try the friends thing. Just break off contact permanently or you'll prolong your suffering seeing or thinking of her with other guys while you feel you alone all over again.

 

[jjones]

Go get laid.

 

[rh71]

you said your age but neglected to say how long you had been with her...

 

[PowerMac4Ever]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: Slimline
I just need someone to talk to.

Don't you have any real friends who actually might care?

What if he doesn't?

 

[amcdonald]

Originally posted by: dwell
Was she an English teacher? If so... I understand why she dumped you

Hahahahaha best reply so far.

To the OP. Go talk to your parents or someone who cares about you.
Sever all ties with this girl. Like someone else said, she's probably got another guy lined up.
TRY TO MOVE ON. Don't let some girl ruin the next 6 months of your life.
Life will go on and you will get over it.

 

[bacon333]

I went through this about two years ago. Bottom line:

1) Try your hardest not to contact her and get rid of everything that reminds you of her ('cause even at that it's hard to not think about it. don't return the things she gave you though, just store it away)
2) Talk to friends and chill with family, etc (that still probably won't help too much at this time, more temporary)
3) write poems or your frustrations on paper (temporary satisfaction)
4) Finding another girl (this might help a good amount, but usually ends up as rebound, which ends up with someone being hurt/bitter which leads to having an enemy)
5) Time (guaranteed to work)

There's nothing anyone can say or do that will make you forget the hurt and crap. There's going to be a point where you will be glad she broke up with you and that's because you're going to be learning the facts of life. Luckily you're learning this early in life, be glad. don't sell yourself short and remember, you never ever "need" any body.

good luck man.

 

[Bumrush99]

Another thing to note: When a girl says it is over, it is OVER!
They don't change their minds. While you are at home crying over her she will probably be out on dates with other guys. Once they declare the relationship dead there is nothing you can do. Begging will only prolong your suffering.

 

[welst10]

Originally posted by: Bumrush99
Another thing to note: When a girl says it is over, it is OVER!
They don't change their minds. While you are at home crying over her she will probably be out on dates with other guys. Once they declare the relationship dead there is nothing you can do. Begging will only prolong your suffering.

Not true. Girls change their minds all the time. They're unpredictable.

 

[spidey07]

as others have said it sucks.

get rid of all her stuff, anything and everything that reminds you of her. put it in a box and stow it away...maybe 10 years from now you'll want to reminisce.

Till then find your single self again. Go out, see friends, indulge yourself a little.

And the best cure-all - get some strange nookie.

 

[bacon333]

Originally posted by: welst10

Originally posted by: Bumrush99
Another thing to note: When a girl says it is over, it is OVER!
They don't change their minds. While you are at home crying over her she will probably be out on dates with other guys. Once they declare the relationship dead there is nothing you can do. Begging will only prolong your suffering.

Not true. Girls change their minds all the time. They're unpredictable.

i concur. they're fickle. they know it, we know it.

 

[Ausm]

Originally posted by: IHYLN
anandtech really needs a teen angst forum

Actually problem with women are a life long process

Ausm

 

[Fritzo]

If the love's not returned, it will never be there. Breaking up is a lot like dealing with the death of a family member (with some added hurting). First stages of a bad breakup include the pain of the lost companionship, the betrayal that she's going to be seeing another man eventually that will have "access" to everything only you had access to before, the uncertainty of finding someone else....etc.

Speaking from experience, NEVER get back together with someone that breaks up with you. It will start a trend and ends in unhappiness or even disaster. There are rare exceptions (for instance, a breakup over a misunderstanding), but that should be a rule of thumb.

To help you get past the breakup pains, think of all the stuff she did that DROVE YOU CRAZY!!! Was she a back seat driver? Did she nag about cleaning or things you enjoyed doing? Were you not able to do things because she didn't like them? Was there something you couldn't buy because she thought it wasn't a good idea?

Hang out with friends, start working out, don't actively look for a relationship for a while. You'll feel better about yourself, and you'll be suprised what will fall in your lap some day.

 

[dmcowen674]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
If the love's not returned, it will never be there. Breaking up is a lot like dealing with the death of a family member (with some added hurting). First stages of a bad breakup include the pain of the lost companionship, the betrayal that she's going to be seeing another man eventually that will have "access" to everything only you had access to before, the uncertainty of finding someone else....etc.

Speaking from experience, NEVER get back together with someone that breaks up with you. It will start a trend and ends in unhappiness or even disaster. There are rare exceptions (for instance, a breakup over a misunderstanding), but that should be a rule of thumb.

To help you get past the breakup pains, think of all the stuff she did that DROVE YOU CRAZY!!! Was she a back seat driver? Did she nag about cleaning or things you enjoyed doing? Were you not able to do things because she didn't like them? Was there something you couldn't buy because she thought it wasn't a good idea?

Hang out with friends, start working out, don't actively look for a relationship for a while. You'll feel better about yourself, and you'll be suprised what will fall in your lap some day.

Good post.

Also look at this way, she was your girlfriend, not wife. Much harder when supposed to be your life partner.

Find another Fish, you'll be fine.

Oh, didn't even bother to read your post, try PARAGRAPHS.

 

[Slimline]

Thanks for all the help from everyone. Although I am not ready to box away all her things, and i cant just forget about her, she means to much to me. If all we can do is be friends I will accept it as that. Yes it will be hard but it will be better to see her happy again i guess. I just beg and plead that she could be happy with me. (not actually to her) I just got off the phone with her brothers very rescently dumped girlfriend who i have know for 5 years. We had a very good talk and it helped a lot. I feel a little more stable now. I just hope she still does call because i have a lot of questions.

For christ sake I can't believe how many people *!@$% and complain about paragraphs! So here is your paragraph. I hope it made it all that much easier for you to read. Anyone with a grade 1 reading level can string together sentences and draw conclusions. It should not take spaces to help you organize YOUR thoughts.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

wow, he finally used paragraphs! Now go back and fix your OP so I can actually read it -then make fun of you for its content.

 

[PunDogg]

dude if u have lost that much weight in that short a time, i would go see a doctor. get some depression meds, and try to piece everything together. it is tough and it wil be tough, but you wil get throuhg it

Dogg

 

[lilFajita]

i know how it feels to love someone unconditionally and for that not to be returned. the best, and most difficult advice to follow is to walk away, at least for some time. Trying to be "friends" with someone you are in love with is a disaster, because reciprocated friendliness gives you hope...and when it is unreciprocated, you feel destroyed.

Venting is good...but get out and be with people- but not the people you connect with her. Otherwise, brain will just be on replay about her and the events.

Its one of the hardest things to deal with....but you will be a happier person if you don't let the pain determine your actions.

sorry

 

[pkananen]

hey man - had the fiancee break up with me 1 year ago to the day. Life afterwards was miserable for about 6 months. 1 year later I am SO glad I'm not married to her now. You will be too. It takes time. Worst thing you can do is try and fight for her back. Hang out with friends and look towards the good things God brings in the future.

 

[Slimline]

No need for thread crappers, if you dont like my posts go somewhere else. Pundogg, I have been depressed before, and i am not depressed, just upset. Lilfajita, I will take your advice to heart and see how things go. Its just hard to resist calling her. Especially since I just got our pictures developed from our camping trip.

 

[OrByte]

dude you're 18, and no strings. As soon as you can start seeing the silver lining about this situation the sooner you will begin to realize that you are in a very good situation.

....now go get sloshed, laid, and have some fun for a change, moping around depressed never got anyone anywhere.

:beer:

 

[dudeguy]

Originally posted by: AcidicFury
cliff notes?

screw the cliff notes, where are the hot pics?!?!!!

 

[Klixxer]

This is part of life, someone you love leaves you or you leave them, it is going to happen several times and despite what most say it never gets any easier even if you are the one to leave.

But you have to realize just that, it is part of live, you need to move on, you need to forget about her, don't call her, don't write her, don't look her way, that will mean one of two things, she will be interested again and you can choose or she will go on with her life and either way you should be going on with yours.

I hava been down that road so many times, got a divorce from one of them, just don't look back.

 

[silverpig]

DO HER MOM!!!

 

[Stark]

you take a girl fishing for a date and wonder why you got dumped?

now go get a life and learn to use paragraphs. chicks dig those two things.