My girlfriend called it quits last night....

Slimline

Golden Member
Jul 19, 2004
1,365
2
81
I typed a novel last night and the forum was down by the time i posted it. may not know anyone here, but sometimes that helps. I have noone to turn to. I loved her more than anything humanly imaginable to me, and last night she said she had lost that love for me. I have never felt such pain in all my life. Nor emptyness. Its like an unforgiving feeling of butterflies in my stomach, like im standing on the stage ready to present a speech to a crowd of millions. Only I cant just turn and walk of the stage now. She said she wants to be friends still but needs time. Time i cannot seem to give. All I can do isthink of her. I just dont understand it, she has been planning a birthday party for me for weeks all just to break up with me 11 days prior? She said there is noone else but im not sure if that is not entirely truthful. She has a really good friend she basically went to see for 2 and a half weeks on canada day. Since then, nothing has been the same. Either she realised something or something happened. All I can do is try and piece together what happened, and go over every incrimental detail ten-fold. I have nothing to keep her off my mind. I have some really close friends, but none who would understand and those that would are not who i feel extremely comfortable showing me in such a weak and painful state of mind. Everything in my house is her. She helped my family lay the hardwood floors i now sit on, her blankets are on my bed, love letters in my dresser. Not even 2 weeks ago we had a great time out fishing and she caught a 2 pound smallmouth on a bobber. We had been fighting alot lately, but I was trying so hard to understand, and fix things. Sometimes it felt like she just didnt want to put the effort in anymore. I have lost 4 and a half pounds since 6:30 last night. I have no ambition to eat, drink, I cannot sleep, all I can do is think. I have no ambition to go see friends, im dying to call her but know i cant. I called her once after we broke last night and she wasnt to impressed. I just needed to hear her voice. I hoped for a change of mind. I pray with everything I have that she will realise what she is giving up on and come back. I love her unconditionaly. I want to talk to her, try and figure out where we went wrong, even just spend a few hours with her. I have delt with death of family and of close friends, and it is very difficult. But losing someone you love seems so much different. I just need someone to talk to.
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,303
15
81
Originally posted by: AcidicFury
cliff notes?

His g/f broke up with him, and he feels like warmed over canine poop.

It is life, and it is a feeling we all go through at one point or another. The only ways to get over it are: Spend time with friends, lots of time in general, and getting another g/f.
 

Damn Dirty Ape

Diamond Member
Nov 1, 1999
3,310
0
76
*rude comment about cliffs notes being needed edited out*.

Hey man, for what it's worth, been there a number of years ago. Truly thought I would NOT make it through the coming days. Worst part was it was 2 weeks before Christmas. Christmas wasn't too good, New Years' either, but made it day-by-day, each day it got a little bit easier I started noticing that there were other women out there. I managed to get rid of 95% of EVERYTHING that reminded me of her, that made it easier. Not that I loved her like I once did, her pathological lying was so bizarre even her parents said I should have broken up with her. (and they treated me as the son they never had)..

By the next May I had met someone who was 100 times more the woman, more everything I'd ever wanted. Two beautiful daughters later I am SOOOOOOO thankful that breakup happened.

*reason for breakup*: caught the 28 y/o fiancee in bed with her 17 year old male co-worker. Laugh if you want, she claimed she wanted 'excitement' and wanted to help him lose his cherry". Shes' the one now at 38 w/ an 8 year old kid and the 17 y/o (then 19 y/o) divorced her before she knew she was pregnant.

yea, life can svck the big balls, but things always turn around, just take a vacation for a bit do something different. I can identify with everything you have written, just hang in there and don't let yourself be alone, more people have gone through this and would understand than you might think.
 

vshah

Lifer
Sep 20, 2003
19,003
24
81
it was bound to happen eventually. i'm guessing this was your first gf. try hard to get your mind off it dude, go out with some friends, stay out with em, DON'T be alone or you'll slide back into your misery. remember there are plenty of other great girls out there.

-Vivan
 

SaigonK

Diamond Member
Aug 13, 2001
7,482
3
0
www.robertrivas.com
It's a tough spot to be in, hang in there.
Some words of advice from a person who got recently divorced (and form some tips I got here)


1. Don't dwell on the "other guy" issue, it wont do you any good. If she said she doesnt love you, take it for that and not that there is someone else. You will be having a hard enough time trying to deal with this, let alone if you pnder her with someone else.

2. Find someone to talk to locally, keeping it all pent up wont do you any good, those friends you may not want to talk to might be your best option.

3. Talking about it helps, if you feel the need to babble, have at it. Igrnoe the naysayers and thread crappers who will inevitably come here to piss on your parade.
 

CPA

Elite Member
Nov 19, 2001
30,322
4
0
Originally posted by: quentinterintino
go out with some friends, drink some beer, you'll get over it. hell, watch swingers for inspiration.

Or become a swinger... ;)
 

LemonHead

Golden Member
Oct 28, 1999
1,041
0
76
You are probably a young kid. Don't worry just go through the pain and know that your life is just begininng. Don't throw it all away on a High school love intrest. You will survive.
 

jyates

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2001
3,847
0
76
Originally posted by: Hellspawn
holy crossed eyes batman! cliff notes!!!!!!!!!!


Learn how to read ......it's not that hard ......


Sorry to hear you are down but I doubt you will get much sympathy
from the group of 14 year olds here on ATOT that have no idea
of what you are talking about.

Love is a choice and if she decides that she "doesn't love you" or "has
lost that loving feeling for you" there is nothing you can do to "make"
her get it back.

I would suggest that if you really care for her, wait for her for a while and tell her
you are waiting and with some time if she doesn't come back move on with your
life and put her behind you.

Life is too short to always be looking behind you.

Jim
 

Slimline

Golden Member
Jul 19, 2004
1,365
2
81
To those that asked, I do have friends i could talk to, but its easier to talk to a stranger sometimes. All my friends knew her so well and its helpfull to talk to people who really know nothing of the situation. I have talked to a few friends but i dont know.
 

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,530
3
0
Originally posted by: jyates
Originally posted by: Hellspawn
holy crossed eyes batman! cliff notes!!!!!!!!!!


Learn how to read ......it's not that hard ......


Sorry to hear you are down but I doubt you will get much sympathy
from the group of 14 year olds here on ATOT that have no idea
of what you are talking about.
Listen to this guy as he seems to be an expert at getting dumped;)
 

jyates

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2001
3,847
0
76
Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Originally posted by: jyates
Originally posted by: Hellspawn
holy crossed eyes batman! cliff notes!!!!!!!!!!


Learn how to read ......it's not that hard ......


Sorry to hear you are down but I doubt you will get much sympathy
from the group of 14 year olds here on ATOT that have no idea
of what you are talking about.
Listen to this guy as he seems to be an expert at getting dumped;)

Well, it appears that one of those 14 year olds has spoken ;)
 

torpid

Lifer
Sep 14, 2003
11,631
11
76
Sounds similar to something I went through a couple years back. I went into work and everyone commented that I looked disgusted all the time. It's really tough emotionally when you believe that your friends aren't there for you. That actually is the worst part of it. When I had the rough patch, I discovered that I had surrounded myself with some friends who were introverted and unable to help me in the rough patch, and in retrospect I think that I also had too little faith in my other friends.

Maybe I'm going off on too much of a tangent, but it seems to me that you are like a walking time bomb just like I was (am?) and should seek counseling perhaps. Not because of being broken up with, but because of the feeling that no one is there for you. Even if it's true, and most likely it isn't, you will probably need help figuring out how to solve the problem.
 

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