My dad and a job offer

[SSSnail]

Is this when I start singing "... for good times, or bad times... I'll be on your side forever more... that's what friends are for...."

 

[TheWart]

Paging doctor Freud! Dr. Freud, please come to this thread immediately.

 

[narzy]

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: TehMac

Originally posted by: narzy

As much as I think Quitox is being childish and his mother selfish no one should ever call anyone else family member a 'bitch' or 'wise and beautiful woman.' It is unnecessary and completely out of line.

I'm sorry, I should clarify that. I was suggesting that if Quintox was describing the situation as that, then I do not withdraw my position

Just do like I should be doing, man up, and admit that you were a dick for saying that about somebody's family member that you don't know. I know it doesn't really matter but I have lost all respect for you for saying that, may it be about my family or anybody else's.

And Ryan, I WAS AGREEING with you. I was not saying that to be an ass, I totally understand everybody's responses....

Don't think for a second that your mother's actions aren't consistent with those adjectives, It's just not nice to say to people.

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: narzy

No doubt that his mothers reaction is out of line. But if she acts this way after 20 years of marriage it is because she has been allowed to and it gets results from his father. The problems run deeper than they appear on the surface. It doesn't sound like his father has stepped in to address his mothers piss poor behavior.

You're basically right. My parent's marriage is great minus all moving situations. (believe me or not, but it's the truth) The first move my family did, my dad literally walked into the house one night and told my mom we were moving. (At the time they were in the city where I was born, where both my parents grew up, etc)

Hey, least I am providing the night's entertainment?

 

[kranky]

It will not be anywhere near as traumatic as you think it will be. You are assuming that everything about the move will be bad compared to where you live now. It's the fear of the unknown, that's all.

You love the city you're in now, you could love the new city also. Where you live now is not the only place in the country you might enjoy.

Nine hours away means you can't come home as often. Why is that bad? Yes, it's different. But you might find it's perfectly fine. Or you can stay where you are now and not move. That would be different also, but not necessarily bad.

I feel badly for your father, who wants to do something to benefit the family, but is facing opposition. The right thing to do is to support your dad even though it is not what you want. I hope you mom can do the same.

I have not insulted you or called you names, so I am not trying to put you down. But I do have to tell you this: your attitude is selfish, very selfish. There's no other way to look at it.

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: narzy

No doubt that his mothers reaction is out of line. But if she acts this way after 20 years of marriage it is because she has been allowed to and it gets results from his father. The problems run deeper than they appear on the surface. It doesn't sound like his father has stepped in to address his mothers piss poor behavior.

You're basically right. My parent's marriage is great minus all moving situations. (believe me or not, but it's the truth) The first move my family did, my dad literally walked into the house one night and told my mom we were moving. (At the time they were in the city where I was born, where both my parents grew up, etc)

The rest of the moves were basically my mom being wishy washy, so nothing on my Dad's fault. My mom never lets go of this moving stuff and it is annoying. And my Dad is too nice to put her in line

I think your ignorance blinds you.

Your parents marraige is probably fine because he relenquishes all personal desires for the sake of you kids and his wife, but when it comes to something he genuinely wants, your mother wants nothing to do with it.

It appears that this is one of the things that he'd actually be willing to insist upon, and your mother doesn't like the fact that your dad isn't being an emasculated chap anymore.

Jeeze.

 

[TehMac]

Originally posted by: narzy
No doubt that his mothers reaction is out of line. But if she acts this way after 20 years of marriage it is because she has been allowed to and it gets results from his father. The problems run deeper than they appear on the surface. It doesn't sound like his father has stepped in to address his mothers piss poor behavior.

Well hell, she's his wife, it's not like he drafted her or anything, he shouldn't have to adress anything, if she's not working, she has very limited say in all reality. Granted, that's not how things work, as this episode demonstrates, but if people were really interested in their own desires, she would damnwell be all over her husband's balls for getting a tremendous raise like this.

Originally posted by: Quintox
Just do like I should be doing, man up, and admit that you were a dick for saying that about somebody's family member that you don't know. I know it doesn't really matter but I have lost all respect for you for saying that, may it be about my family or anybody else's.

I'm sorry, but I apologized for the miscommunication, there's nothing really else to apologize for. On the contrary for you, I'd be apologizing to my dad for being an ass.

I don't know how respect factors in one way or another, but I daresay you've lost a bit of respect on this forum, to say the least.

How much this "respect" means one way or the other is yet to be seen, but if I'm going to say something, I'll say it, and I did. It's not the nicest thing to say, but it's not too nice being a real thorn in the side of someone who worked his ass off so you could get yourself educated.

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: kranky
I have not insulted you or called you names, so I am not trying to put you down. But I do have to tell you this: your attitude is selfish, very selfish. There's no other way to look at it.

I know, I know.

And Wart, are you talking bout the psychologist or a forum member?

And Ryan for the most part you are right too

 

[PlatinumGold]

seriously, this thread hs got to be nominated for Pwnage of the year.


quin man (or should i say "baby"). you really need to grow up. to feel that way is one thing to actually oppose your dad on the issue is entirely different. if you posted, this is how i feel, but because i know it is really best for my dad. almost EVERYONE would have supported you.

but your position is just sooo stupid, it almost doesn't deserve a response.

 

[Descartes]

Does your dad not have any ties to your current home, city, etc.? I would think it's equally hard for him to leave as it is for your mom. It's not easy to give up the comfort you've had for years to take on an unknown city, unknown job and try to push through it.

That said, I can't imagine this is a money issue. Unless it's just a really specific niche, I don't see why your dad couldn't command the same income where you are now. The markets can't be that different?

Anyway, if that's what he ultimately chooses to do, then you should support him.

 

[Mardeth]

I have been in a quite similar situation. Dad got a big promotion but had to move to Germany. Sister being selfish cried and shit and my mother had concerns but in the end he was there for 2 years, visited like twice a month and my mother and sister adjusted. The company paid the plane tickets too. I went there once, sister like 3 times and my mother 6 times all on the companies tab. Im quite independent and wasnt living at home so I thought it was cool to be honest. He still is away like 1-2 weeks a month thought.

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: Descartes
Does your dad not have any ties to your current home, city, etc.? I would think it's equally hard for him to leave as it is for your mom. It's not easy to give up the comfort you've had for years to take on an unknown city, unknown job and try to push through it.

That said, I can't imagine this is a money issue. Unless it's just a really specific niche, I don't see why your dad couldn't command the same income where you are now. The markets can't be that different?

Anyway, if that's what he ultimately chooses to do, then you should support him.

No ties, but he does like it here too. It is a money issue, that's the only reason he wants to move. We've made alternate suggestions (my mom get a full time job and we downsize on the house) but he isn't too fond of that.

 

[Baked]

I love drama. Please keep us updated on your dad's decision.

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Descartes
Does your dad not have any ties to your current home, city, etc.? I would think it's equally hard for him to leave as it is for your mom. It's not easy to give up the comfort you've had for years to take on an unknown city, unknown job and try to push through it.

That said, I can't imagine this is a money issue. Unless it's just a really specific niche, I don't see why your dad couldn't command the same income where you are now. The markets can't be that different?

Anyway, if that's what he ultimately chooses to do, then you should support him.

No ties, but he does like it here too. It is a money issue, that's the only reason he wants to move. We've made alternate suggestions (my mom get a full time job and we downsize on the house) but he isn't too fond of that.

Those are both dumb suggestions.

1) Because right now it's an employers market, your mom probably couldn't command a decent salary with unemployment rising like a rocket.

2) Tied to reason 1, trying to downsize, you're probably one of many families trying to turn their house into cash and putting it on the market, deflating its market value.

 

[Q]

Mardeth, any more..info?

Originally posted by: Baked
I love drama. Please keep us updated on your dad's decision.

I will, ATOT never forgets anyhow

 

[Mardeth]

Well what do you want to know? I guess my dad demanded quite a lot, like unlimited plane ticket back and forth for family (obviously reasonable thought). But he was in great negotiation position too. As I said, it was a lot easier than we thought initially. Funnily enough (or should I be concerned?), my mother quite liked the quietness in the house. No men in the house kind of took a toll on some upkeep issues. Sister grew up... And now money is no issue anymore. Maybe, if possible he could ask for at least planet tickets and possibly an apartment so you dont have to move?

 

[little elvis]

Dude, people would understand your desire not to move if you were 12, heck even if you were 16, but your 20 and in College, time to let go.

Do you even live still live at home? If not, your attitude is even less justified.

Originally posted by: Quintox

How many times do I need to say that? I KNOW I AM WRONG HERE, I AM 100% WRONG.

It's just so weird that we were all happy here, then that company calls and now suddenly my dad isn't happy. It's frustrating. He even got a promotion literally weeks previous to this offer with a company car and more money.

Okay, you know you're wrong..... but you go on to blame your Father for the situation you guys are in.... It seems that you really don't believe that you are wrong, and feel that your Dad is.

 

[preCRT]

If it bothers you that much to be away from mommy & daddy, why don't YOU transfer to a college closer to where your folks will be moving?

 

[dartworth]

wow...I didn't realize Quintox was this much of a tool...


so sad...

 

[HardcoreRobot]

you should have found a new home when you went off from college

time to move on dude. tell your mom to stop being selfish also.

 

[BarneyFife]

Originally posted by: preCRT
If it bothers you that much to be away from mommy & daddy, why don't YOU transfer to a college closer to where your folks will be moving?

Yup. Just transfer up there and problem solved.

 

[CrazyLazy]

You are in college and able to move out, so you shouldn't take a side. Your mother and younger brother on the other hand, who I assume don't want to be separated from your dad, should have a say in your dad's decision.

 

[KaOTiK]

Don't know if someone else said it or not as I didn't read the posts in this thread.

Can you live with yourself knowing you deprived your father of his dream job. It is more then likely his one and only chance to pursue this oppourtunity.
I don't know about you but I know I couldn't be one of the reasons for anyone to turn down something they have dreamed for for so long.

 

[TehMac]

Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
You're in SD too eh? I just moved down here, interestingly enough, from the Bay (~9 hours away).
-AE

Yeah, I have been both in SD and Berkeley. Used to live in Oakland, err, resided there for a few summers, my dad had moved to Oakland for business, and I went up there when I could. My dad felt that he wasn't earning enough to justify moving up to Oakland permanently, so I just went up north when I could.

Resided in San Fran too, and Petaluma.

In my opinion, San Diego is like San Francisco, only we don't have moonbats running into trees and throwing crap at people.

We have moonbats, but they're more subdued here.

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: dartworth
wow...I didn't realize Quintox was this much of a tool...


so sad...

What is that supposed to mean?

How am I a tool? I admit that I am wrong but I can't help how I feel. And if you are referring to my 'attacks' on some people here, go back and read the whole thread and you will see why I did.