My dad and a job offer

[Q]

These past three days have been hell.

My dad got an interview with a huge company he's always wanted to work for. He wasn't job searching they just randomly contacted him from a resume he sent in years ago. I literally mean out of the blue about 2 weeks ago he got a call. Anyhow, my mom and I weren't keen on him going, for if he got the job we'd have to move up north.

Fast forward to yesterday, and of course for our luck, he got the offer. It's almost double what he makes now (pay). Sounds like a no brainer, but my mom and I are 100% opposed to him taking it. He knew this prior to the interview, etc (this has been a big family thing for as long as I can remember, my mom hates him for moving us).

So of course the past 2 days have been fighting, my mom constantly crying (no joke, past 2 days of crying), and me giving him the silent treatment. My older brother wants him to take it, and my little brother is too young to know. I am going to be a sophomore in college, and he a senior. So it sounds like a great time to move, but we don't want to. I LOVE the city I'm in, same for my mom and brother(s). My dad said he was/is happy with his job here, but it doesn't pay enough and the salary for the new company is more than tempting. And of course my brother is on my dad's side.

I had a hard time adjusting to college last year (came home just about every weekend), and am transferring to a new school where I will enjoy it and live in an apt with some friends. I thought everything was perfect until this came up. I can't stress enough how much I don't want to move. My dad knows this, and my mom and I feel horrible for him since it's basically what he wants so badly.

I can't stand the thought of being 9 hours away from my home, and living in a new city for the next 2 years of breaks, etc. I love my current city, have lots of friends, and can't wait to get an internship. But I have a feeling that we are moving in about a year. I guess I'm clingy and a wimp, but I will be so sad, etc if we have to move. My mom cries a lot and everytime she does it makes me so sad. My dad feels bad because I am not really talking to him, but I don't know what to say.

I know in 2 years I will be who knows where, but I don't want to be 2 years without a feeling of a real home, and I love where we live now. Even if I do stay in my town/get an apartment and internship, it's still going to suck knowing for the past 8 years my family has been here but now they aren't. I'll be living in an apartment for the summer by myself and hate it.

My brother and I both go to colleges about 45 minutes away from home. This move will make it 9 hours for us.

I don't know what you all are supposed to say, I just had to get this out. This year has been so hard on me....once you are out of high school the real world hits, and I don't even want to imagine what it's like when college is over.

EDIT: Let me clarify that we (my mom and I) KNOW we have piss poor reasons for staying, but we've moved 4 times since I was born. We love where we are now. We honestly feel so bad for my dad that we are so opposed, but he should have never gone on the interview to begin with. He knew we didn't want to move but he still went.

EDIT 2: I should have said this when I first posted the OP, but I KNOW I AM WRONG. I came just to vent and it was a bad idea, sorry!


Locked as per Quintox's request.

Zim Hosein

Off Topic Moderator.

 

[skywhr]

double pay and dream job?
i say you and your mom should take 1 for the team.

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

You're a second year in college, grow up, stop being selfish and standing in the way of your father's career advancement.

Your father has provided food/shelter for you and your family (with mom's assistance I'm assuming) for 19+ years. The least you can do is help him do something he's aspired to do for what sounds like a *very* long time.
-AE

 

[Dirigible]

Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
You're a second year in college, grow up, stop being selfish and standing in the way of your father's career advancement.

That's about as nicely as it can be put. You're out of the house. It's between your dad and your mom. Stop being a dick to your dad.

 

[huberm]

IMO this is between your Mom & Dad since you are out of the house

 

[JakwoW]

Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
You're a second year in college, grow up, stop being selfish and standing in the way of your father's career advancement.

i have to agree with this. people move all the time. i have been away from home for 7 years. you will adjust. they don't stop being family just because they live further away.

 

[AlienCraft]

This is LIFE giving you a big "heads up!".
Support your dad, comfort your mother and grow the fuck up a little.

 

[loup garou]

You're in college -- why would you have to move?

 

[RbSX]

Think about how this could pay dividends for you when you grow up, your insolence and self centeredness might benefit you in the short term, but in the long term will do nothing but hurt you, and your parents marraige.

Your mom should shut the fuck up, he probably slaves his ass off to put food on your guys table and she wouldn't let him take a job that not only benefits him, but will benefit her too?

What fucking planet are you people from?

Yeah it sucks.. but if you are really gonna be a dick about it, move into res and stay at your university.

 

[TehMac]

Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
You're a second year in college, grow up, stop being selfish and standing in the way of your father's career advancement.

Your father has provided food/shelter for you and your family (with mom's assistance I'm assuming) for 19+ years. The least you can do is help him do something he's aspired to do for what sounds like a *very* long time.
-AE

This is exactly what I was thinking.


Seriously, TWICE the pay???? I love San Diego a lot, but twice the pay, I'd go. Besides, you're in college, you're a big boy, why don't you find your own place if you like your city so much?

Originally posted by: RyanSengara
Think about how this could pay dividends for you when you grow up, your insolence and self centeredness might benefit you in the short term, but in the long term will do nothing but hurt you, and your parents marraige.

Your mom should shut the fuck up, he probably slaves his ass off to put food on your guys table and she wouldn't let him take a job that not only benefits him, but will benefit her too?

What fucking planet are you people from?

Yeah it sucks.. but if you are really gonna be a dick about it, move into res and stay at your university.

I agree with this guy too. Your mom must be the biggest fucking bitch I have ever heard of. Here he is, working his ass off at his job, he finally gets twice the pay, and you and your twathead ma have to be a couple of cunts and be obstacles. I think you need to realize who is footing your bills here.

Your choice of language towards another member's mother -- fucking bitch, twathead, wise and beautiful woman -- in a thread where he is asking about the painful decision to move, is out of bounds. Others managed to make their strong feeling known without being the needless lowlife you were.

Please take the next 2 weeks off.

Perknose
Senior At Mod

 

[Q]

I know, I KNOW that he should take it and I need to suck it up, but I can't help but feel like I am being somewhat 'abandoned'. Tens of thousands of college students are hours away from home, but THEY CHOSE to do this. I am not choosing to live 9 hours away from home.

I know we are eventually moving, I just know it, and I am so sad about it.

Why don't I find my own place? I can if I want, but it's not the same. Unlike some of you, from what it SEEMS like according to your posts, I am extremely close to my family and I don't want to be away from them just yet. Plus all my friends are here, and good internship jobs.

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

Originally posted by: TehMac

Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
You're a second year in college, grow up, stop being selfish and standing in the way of your father's career advancement.

Your father has provided food/shelter for you and your family (with mom's assistance I'm assuming) for 19+ years. The least you can do is help him do something he's aspired to do for what sounds like a *very* long time.
-AE

This is exactly what I was thinking.


Seriously, TWICE the pay???? I love San Diego a lot, but twice the pay, I'd go. Besides, you're in college, you're a big boy, why don't you find your own place if you like your city so much?

You're in SD too eh? I just moved down here, interestingly enough, from the Bay (~9 hours away).
-AE

 

[Q]

Hey mac why don't you fuck off and stop being such a fucking ass hole. I don't appreciate you talking about my parents like that you fucker.

I don't care if I get vacation either, you're an asshole who needs to shut the fuck up if you don't have anything good to say.

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: Quintox
I know, I KNOW that he should take it and I need to suck it up, but I can't help but feel like I am being somewhat 'abandoned'. Tens of thousands of college students are hours away from home, but THEY CHOSE to do this. I am not choosing to live 9 hours away from home.

I know we are eventually moving, I just know it, and I am so sad about it.

Then why the fuck are you posting?

He's not fucking abandoning you for fucks sakes, you're 20 years old, 50 years ago you would have been out working on the farm or some other form of menial labor when you were 15.

Pansification of my generation, you're a fucking disgrance.. you are a man now, not a child, if your parents, or you for that matter want to get up and move, thats your choice.

Fuck, self centered people like you make me sick.

Jeeze sorry for going off the deepend, but in terms of familial issues this is not a big thing, now if they kicked out out of the house and moved and cut off all contact, then you would be justified.

 

[maziwanka]

hey man. i've been in a similar situation. my mom stayed behind to be close to my brother and i while my father moved half-way across the country for a much better job. he flew home pretty much every week and has done that now for the past 10 years or so.

i guess this is an option you guys can discuss (your dad can probably afford to get a really cheap condo (my dad did that).

if not i say you guys really take this one for your dad since it's his DREAM job. that shit only comes around once in a life man. you guys gotta sacrifice.

EITHER WAY, let him take the job.

 

[Fenixgoon]

Originally posted by: Quintox
I know, I KNOW that he should take it and I need to suck it up, but I can't help but feel like I am being somewhat 'abandoned'. Tens of thousands of college students are hours away from home, but THEY CHOSE to do this. I am not choosing to live 9 hours away from home.

I know we are eventually moving, I just know it, and I am so sad about it.

Why don't I find my own place? I can if I want, but it's not the same. Unlike some of you, from what it SEEMS like according to your posts, I am extremely close to my family and I don't want to be away from them just yet. Plus all my friends are here, and good internship jobs.

im curious - what reservations do you have about living far away from home?

i'm 2hrs from home, currently, and 3-4 at school, but i rarely go home unless i absolutely need to.

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: Quintox
Hey mac why don't you fuck off and stop being such a fucking ass hole. I don't appreciate you talking about my parents like that you fucker.

Hey dude, you're clowning your dad because he's going to make twice as much be able to be much happier and provide for you that much more.

If ANYONE in this thread is a fucking asshole here, it's you.

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

Originally posted by: Quintox
I know, I KNOW that he should take it and I need to suck it up, but I can't help but feel like I am being somewhat 'abandoned'. Tens of thousands of college students are hours away from home, but THEY CHOSE to do this. I am not choosing to live 9 hours away from home.

I know we are eventually moving, I just know it, and I am so sad about it.

You realize in four sentences you used the word 'I' nine times.

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: maziwanka
hey man. i've been in a similar situation. my mom stayed behind to be close to my brother and i while my father moved half-way across the country for a much better job. he flew home pretty much every week and has done that now for the past 10 years or so.

i guess this is an option you guys can discuss (your dad can probably afford to get a really cheap condo (my dad did that).

if not i say you guys really take this one for your dad since it's his DREAM job. that shit only comes around once in a life man. you guys gotta sacrifice.

EITHER WAY, let him take the job.

Thanks for a helpful post.
What we have been discussing is possibly have him go up there for a year, to test out the job and see if he likes it, likes his boss, etc and possibly look for a house, while my Mom and little brother stay in our house till he finishes school and till I get an internship next year.

AccruedExpenditure, I know! I am 100% aware I'm being soooo selfish and I am really sorry for it. It's totally not fair to my dad, I'm not saying that I'm being any bit reasonable. I'm just saying what I feel, even though it's totally wrong and idiotic.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: Quintox
I know, I KNOW that he should take it and I need to suck it up, but I can't help but feel like I am being somewhat 'abandoned'. Tens of thousands of college students are hours away from home, but THEY CHOSE to do this. I am not choosing to live 9 hours away from home.

I know we are eventually moving, I just know it, and I am so sad about it.

Why don't I find my own place? I can if I want, but it's not the same. Unlike some of you, from what it SEEMS like according to your posts, I am extremely close to my family and I don't want to be away from them just yet. Plus all my friends are here, and good internship jobs.

Maybe this is a wake-up call for you. You are too old be be clinging to your family, the way you make it sound.

This is your dad's dream - one that he's put off for how many years? While he was doing what was best for your family. Now it's time for you to do what's best for HIM. After everything he's done for you, don't you think it's time for you to give something back?

 

[spaceghost21]

Originally posted by: Quintox
Hey mac why don't you fuck off and stop being such a fucking ass hole. I don't appreciate you talking about my parents like that you fucker.

I don't care if I get vacation either, you're an asshole who needs to shut the fuck up if you don't have anything good to say.

I need to write myself a note to remind me not read your threads.

JTFC.

Originally posted by: Quintox
AccruedExpenditure, I know! I am 100% aware I'm being soooo selfish and I am really sorry for it. It's totally not fair to my dad, I'm not saying that I'm being any bit reasonable. I'm just saying what I feel, even though it's totally wrong and idiotic.

You don't need the advice of anyone here, you just need to grow the fuck up.

 

[TehMac]

Originally posted by: RyanSengara

Originally posted by: Quintox
Hey mac why don't you fuck off and stop being such a fucking ass hole. I don't appreciate you talking about my parents like that you fucker.

Hey dude, you're clowning your dad because he's going to make twice as much be able to be much happier and provide for you that much more.

If ANYONE in this thread is a fucking asshole here, it's you.

If I say I agree with this guy too, will I get a vacation?

 

[RbSX]

Originally posted by: TehMac

Originally posted by: RyanSengara

Originally posted by: Quintox
Hey mac why don't you fuck off and stop being such a fucking ass hole. I don't appreciate you talking about my parents like that you fucker.

Hey dude, you're clowning your dad because he's going to make twice as much be able to be much happier and provide for you that much more.

If ANYONE in this thread is a fucking asshole here, it's you.

If I say I agree with this guy too, will I get a vacation?

You don't need to say it, you already agreed with me a few posts up.

 

[FleshLight]

Then don't move away and stay tehre with your friends and good internship jobs?

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: Fenixgoon

Originally posted by: Quintox
I know, I KNOW that he should take it and I need to suck it up, but I can't help but feel like I am being somewhat 'abandoned'. Tens of thousands of college students are hours away from home, but THEY CHOSE to do this. I am not choosing to live 9 hours away from home.

I know we are eventually moving, I just know it, and I am so sad about it.

Why don't I find my own place? I can if I want, but it's not the same. Unlike some of you, from what it SEEMS like according to your posts, I am extremely close to my family and I don't want to be away from them just yet. Plus all my friends are here, and good internship jobs.

im curious - what reservations do you have about living far away from home?

i'm 2hrs from home, currently, and 3-4 at school, but i rarely go home unless i absolutely need to.

Well 4 hours is way better than 9-10. I like being close to home, I don't know why. It's nice to know in case I need something or want to go home for food, etc I can. My brother, who is nothing like me, goes to a good school 45 minutes away, and he rarely comes home but he says the same thing that it is nice to be close.