my 11 yr old is REALLY upset.

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PlatinumGold

Lifer
Aug 11, 2000
23,168
0
71
and of course this upsets me a LOT.

here is the story. today is my sons birthday (11th birthday). we had a party for him yesterday, 21 kids at the party. we spent a decent amount of money on this party, about $600.00. mb not a lot by some peoples standards but a lot for us. (this is the first party we've had for him with more than 3 friends over in like 5 yrs).

it was a swim party at our health club / gym. (http://www.newtownathletic.com)

the kids all had a great time, then after the party we invited all the families over to our house and the kids played the mothers talked and the fathers watched the game.

when they all left, my wife and i thought we had had a great weekend. the game was great, the company was good and the food was good. what more could you want right?

apparently one of the kids at the party told my son as they were getting out of the pool, "this party sucks".

so, my son is really really upset, and i'm not sure what to say.

i know this kid (the one that shot his mouth off) and i know why he said it, he is an extremely jealous type, he's always comparing, "my room is bigger", "i have such and such" etc. my son never says this kind of stuff, seriously, my son is an extremely well behaved child, and this is not just me that says it, everyone that knows him says this.


so, my wife and i told our son, not to pay attention to it, but it's easy to say that, but you can't deny the hurt feelings involved.

anyway, nothing much i can do, so i'm venting here.

 
A

apac

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2003
6,212
0
71
Sucks, but it's a good life lesson to learn - pick and choose your friends based on comments like that.
 
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PlatinumGold

Lifer
Aug 11, 2000
23,168
0
71
Originally posted by: apac
Sucks, but it's a good life lesson to learn - pick and choose your friends based on comments like that.
Click to expand...

talk about life lessons, it doesn't always work that way in life. we make choices yes, but our choices are rarely so straightfoward.

my son has been friends with this kid for about 7 yrs. for about 3 of those years, those two were the only two in that age group at the church.

also, this kid is about 14 months older than my son and is the oldest in that group of friends (there are about 7 of them that hang out all the time). my son feels like, if he tells this kid how he really feels, this kid will get all the other kids to not hang out with him.
 
A

apac

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2003
6,212
0
71
Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
Originally posted by: apac
Sucks, but it's a good life lesson to learn - pick and choose your friends based on comments like that.
Click to expand...

talk about life lessons, it doesn't always work that way in life. we make choices yes, but our choices are rarely so straightfoward.

my son has been friends with this kid for about 7 yrs. for about 3 of those years, those two were the only two in that age group at the church.

also, this kid is about 14 months older than my son and is the oldest in that group of friends (there are about 7 of them that hang out all the time). my son feels like, if he tells this kid how he really feels, this kid will get all the other kids to not hang out with him.
Click to expand...

Have you talked to the parents?
 
T

theprodigalrebel

Lifer
Oct 4, 2004
10,515
6
81
This line might work:

"20 kids and their parents enjoyed the party and had a wonderful time. The only reason Timmy said the party sucked is because his parents don't love him and he can't stand to see other kids have wonderful, loving parents. C'mon, lets go play Guitar Hero, son." /hug
 
Nikamichi

Nikamichi

Diamond Member
Nov 21, 2003
7,759
0
0
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
This line might work:

"20 kids and their parents enjoyed the party and had a wonderful time. The only reason Timmy said the party sucked is because his parents don't love him and he can't stand to see other kids have wonderful, loving parents. C'mon, lets go play Guitar Hero, son." /hug
Click to expand...

:thumbsup:
 
Duddy

Duddy

Diamond Member
Jul 22, 2002
4,677
15
81
Originally posted by: apac
Sucks, but it's a good life lesson to learn - pick and choose your friends based on comments like that.
Click to expand...

:thumbsup:
 
J

ja1484

Platinum Member
Dec 31, 2007
2,438
2
0
Maybe this is a shocking thought, I don't know, but people are going to say things to your son that are going to upset him. They're even gonna do it when he's not 11 any more. In fact, they'll probably do it all the time, like they do to the rest of us.

Him learning to HANDLE these emotions on his own is part of what makes a well-adjusted child, who later becomes a well adjusted adult. You can't freak out every time your kid is unhappy about something. If you don't let him slog through some shit, he will not learn to cope. Lack of coping skills is precisely why Gen-Y is so useless out in the real world. Here, enjoy a good article. It's not about your son per se, but it is about what happens when children don't have to every overcome any adversity in their lives:

Highly recommended reading.

Quotage:

And subjecting them to intense scrutiny. "I wish my parents had some hobby other than me," one young patient told David Anderegg, a child psychologist in Lenox, Massachusetts, and professor of psychology at Bennington College. Anderegg finds that anxious parents are hyperattentive to their kids, reactive to every blip of their child's day, eager to solve every problem for their child?and believe that's good parenting. "If you have an infant and the baby has gas, burping the baby is being a good parent. But when you have a 10-year-old who has metaphoric gas, you don't have to burp him. You have to let him sit with it, try to figure out what to do about it. He then learns to tolerate moderate amounts of difficulty, and it's not the end of the world."
Click to expand...


Sorry the other little kid was acting his age (11 or 12...too young for it to matter is the point). Don't invite him to the next party.
 
Nitemare

Nitemare

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
35,461
4
81
tell him his "friend" is gay.


Seriously, all that matters is if he had a good time and all the rest of the kids had fun...
 
J

JRich

Platinum Member
Jun 7, 2005
2,714
1
71
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
This line might work:

"20 kids and their parents enjoyed the party and had a wonderful time. The only reason Timmy said the party sucked is because his parents don't love him and he can't stand to see other kids have wonderful, loving parents. C'mon, lets go play Guitar Hero, son." /hug
Click to expand...

:thumbsup::beer:
 
sandorski

sandorski

No Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
70,784
6,343
126
11 is getting to that age where you can't really do much. He's coming to that age where he's gotta start figuring things out on his own. He'll get over it soon, it might end his friendship with the kid though.
 
C

compuwiz1

Admin Emeritus Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
27,112
930
126
Kids are brutal and have zero clue how their comments might effect others.
 
C

CatchPhrase

Senior member
Jan 3, 2008
517
0
0
Was the 11 year old expecting beer and strippers?
He was obviously jealous that the party was centered around your son.
Ask if that kid ever had a "better" party.
 
TehMac

TehMac

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2006
9,976
3
71
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
This line might work:

"20 kids and their parents enjoyed the party and had a wonderful time. The only reason Timmy said the party sucked is because his parents don't love him and he can't stand to see other kids have wonderful, loving parents. C'mon, lets go play Guitar Hero, son." /hug
Click to expand...

I agree.
 
P

PlatinumGold

Lifer
Aug 11, 2000
23,168
0
71
Originally posted by: TehMac
Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
This line might work:

"20 kids and their parents enjoyed the party and had a wonderful time. The only reason Timmy said the party sucked is because his parents don't love him and he can't stand to see other kids have wonderful, loving parents. C'mon, lets go play Guitar Hero, son." /hug
Click to expand...

I agree.
Click to expand...

actually, i told him, not everyone always tells the truth. that they lie sometimes to hurt people.

and he likes guitar hero but he loves DDR.
 
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