why dont you make her cheat on him with you?
EDIT
For those of you who didnt know I was kidding.
Also
Do what YOU feel is best. No one can pressure you, this is a sensitive matter, and should only be delt in a sensible way. Put your self in the same situation and think about how you would want it.
EDIT
For those of you who didnt know I was kidding.
Also
Do what YOU feel is best. No one can pressure you, this is a sensitive matter, and should only be delt in a sensible way. Put your self in the same situation and think about how you would want it.
Of course you tell her. Right now he knows (duh) and if this leads to divorce the longer she is in the dark the more time he has to prepare. (Hiding money, etc) Even if he doesn't cheat her on a divorce the gifts and money spent on the hussy are coming out of the wife's pocket right now. So if you want to keep it 0's and 1's money alone says you tell.
As long as the wife doesn't know she'll likely still be having sex with him. He's screwing a hussy who doesn't mind doing a married guy..."who knows where that's been". Chances he'll get HIV and pass it to her are small, but there are plenty of nasties around. If money doesn't influence you, then don't withhold information that can affect her health.
Those are some practical considerations that don't lead to a question of morals. The sacred vow seems to be important to you, that's the right reason to tell to start with.
If your dilemma is how this will affect you then do it anonymously. Said you have proof, you can inform her with a phone call and mail the proof to an address where only she will have access to it. Or you could do it through a lawyer. There are ways to do it without him knowing. Though even if he does figure it out so what? You're still doing the right thing.
As long as the wife doesn't know she'll likely still be having sex with him. He's screwing a hussy who doesn't mind doing a married guy..."who knows where that's been". Chances he'll get HIV and pass it to her are small, but there are plenty of nasties around. If money doesn't influence you, then don't withhold information that can affect her health.
Those are some practical considerations that don't lead to a question of morals. The sacred vow seems to be important to you, that's the right reason to tell to start with.
If your dilemma is how this will affect you then do it anonymously. Said you have proof, you can inform her with a phone call and mail the proof to an address where only she will have access to it. Or you could do it through a lawyer. There are ways to do it without him knowing. Though even if he does figure it out so what? You're still doing the right thing.
Without going too far into detail out of personal experience I think it is best to go ahead and get it out in the open no matter what the catalyst might be.
Ok, this is not your marriage, your vow, your promise or you sacred oath. It is between two grown adults. It is my opinion that it is not your place to get involved in what goes on between them. It is not any your business .
Sorry, but I still vote that you mind your own business. Unless he is carrying on under your nose, which would entitle you to tell him that you see what is going on and he needs to keep it out of your face. But that is about the extent of it.
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Ok, this is not your marriage, your vow, your promise or you sacred oath. It is between two grown adults. It is my opinion that it is not your place to get involved in what goes on between them. It is not any your business .
Sorry, but I still vote that you mind your own business. Unless he is carrying on under your nose, which would entitle you to tell him that you see what is going on and he needs to keep it out of your face. But that is about the extent of it.
So if your hubby was cheating on you, you wouldn't want to be told?
First - no and no to your first two "observations."
What I'm trying to figure out is how this guy made the decision to become the moral police. He says he doesn't know the wife very well. So, picture that conversation: "Hi, you don't know me very well, but your husband's screwing around on you."
And as to the rest of your soapbox, how's telling his wife going to solve any of your points. Telling her might increase the divorce rate by one, so by being the catalyst in breaking up their marriage somehow helps the moral fiber you're speaking about?
You don't know what dynamics are currently existing in that marriage. She probably knows on some level. She may decide to ride it out and it never happens again. She may confront him, he admits it, they go to counseling, and the marriage is saved.
An outsider getting involved could irrevocably damage this marriage. Be careful where you tread.
Well I would hope that if anyone knew my gf or wife was cheating that someone would tip me off. But how sure are you? does he talk about it?
Is this a big crazy texan by chance? if so be careful
Is this a big crazy texan by chance? if so be careful
RaistlinZ
Diamond Member
- Oct 15, 2001
- 7,470
- 9
- 91
His cheating on his wife is ONLY your business if it is somehow affecting his work performance.
If you still feel compelled to let his wife know, then do it anonymously. Send her the proof that she needs and let that be that. You do not want to get yourself involved in it though. Nothing good can come from you getting personally involved with their marriage.
If you still feel compelled to let his wife know, then do it anonymously. Send her the proof that she needs and let that be that. You do not want to get yourself involved in it though. Nothing good can come from you getting personally involved with their marriage.
Originally posted by: Hardcore
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Ok, this is not your marriage, your vow, your promise or you sacred oath. It is between two grown adults. It is my opinion that it is not your place to get involved in what goes on between them. It is not any your business .
Sorry, but I still vote that you mind your own business. Unless he is carrying on under your nose, which would entitle you to tell him that you see what is going on and he needs to keep it out of your face. But that is about the extent of it.
So if your hubby was cheating on you, you wouldn't want to be told?
Not by someone at work, no. I would tell them to mind their own business. If a family member told me it would be different. But since this would never happen, it is a moot point.
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Originally posted by: Hardcore
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Ok, this is not your marriage, your vow, your promise or you sacred oath. It is between two grown adults. It is my opinion that it is not your place to get involved in what goes on between them. It is not any your business .
Sorry, but I still vote that you mind your own business. Unless he is carrying on under your nose, which would entitle you to tell him that you see what is going on and he needs to keep it out of your face. But that is about the extent of it.
So if your hubby was cheating on you, you wouldn't want to be told?
Not by someone at work, no. I would tell them to mind their own business. If a family member told me it would be different. But since this would never happen, it is a moot point.
And maybe you don't know because nobody ever told you....
Originally posted by: Hardcore
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Originally posted by: Hardcore
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Ok, this is not your marriage, your vow, your promise or you sacred oath. It is between two grown adults. It is my opinion that it is not your place to get involved in what goes on between them. It is not any your business .
Sorry, but I still vote that you mind your own business. Unless he is carrying on under your nose, which would entitle you to tell him that you see what is going on and he needs to keep it out of your face. But that is about the extent of it.
So if your hubby was cheating on you, you wouldn't want to be told?
Not by someone at work, no. I would tell them to mind their own business. If a family member told me it would be different. But since this would never happen, it is a moot point.
And maybe you don't know because nobody ever told you....
Hahahahahaha!!!
Good one!
:roll:
Nebor
Lifer
- Jun 24, 2003
- 29,582
- 12
- 76
Look, if you think that the wife is the last one to know, you're wrong. She knows her husband better than anyone. You think YOU figured this out before his WIFE did? She's aware of the situation. The only thing telling her does is force her to confront the situation.
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Originally posted by: Hardcore
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Originally posted by: Hardcore
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Ok, this is not your marriage, your vow, your promise or you sacred oath. It is between two grown adults. It is my opinion that it is not your place to get involved in what goes on between them. It is not any your business .
Sorry, but I still vote that you mind your own business. Unless he is carrying on under your nose, which would entitle you to tell him that you see what is going on and he needs to keep it out of your face. But that is about the extent of it.
So if your hubby was cheating on you, you wouldn't want to be told?
Not by someone at work, no. I would tell them to mind their own business. If a family member told me it would be different. But since this would never happen, it is a moot point.
And maybe you don't know because nobody ever told you....
Hahahahahaha!!!
Good one!
:roll:
Even if that is not the case he has a point. Most people don't know or are in denial.
Well personally i would want somebody to tell me... whether it's a stranger or a close friend, why should it matter? Just because a stranger brings you bad news, you don't want to hear it?
It is none of his business.
It is not his wife, his marriage, his vow, his oaths, his life, his anything.
He is not the marriage police. He is not the moral police.
Unless it is under his nose, he should mind his own business. If it is affecting the guys work, or the guy is flaunting it, then he needs to take it up with the guy. It is not his place to tell the wife.
It is not his wife, his marriage, his vow, his oaths, his life, his anything.
He is not the marriage police. He is not the moral police.
Unless it is under his nose, he should mind his own business. If it is affecting the guys work, or the guy is flaunting it, then he needs to take it up with the guy. It is not his place to tell the wife.
Wow, are you really this stupid? You think the significant other always knows when the other is cheating? You're either a moron or just completely ignorant of how life really works.
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
It is none of his business.
It is not his wife, his marriage, his vow, his oaths, his life, his anything.
He is not the marriage police. He is not the moral police.
Unless it is under his nose, he should mind his own business. If it is affecting the guys work, or the guy is flaunting it, then he needs to take it up with the guy. It is not his place to tell the wife.
Some people live their life by what a book written over a thousand year ago tells them to do or not to do, and others live by what they believe intrinsically is right or wrong. Personally i believe the latter is superior.
And did you miss the rest of this thread? Or are you always a selective reader? He's asking for opinions, and I GAVE MINE.
Originally posted by: Hardcore
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
It is none of his business.
It is not his wife, his marriage, his vow, his oaths, his life, his anything.
He is not the marriage police. He is not the moral police.
Unless it is under his nose, he should mind his own business. If it is affecting the guys work, or the guy is flaunting it, then he needs to take it up with the guy. It is not his place to tell the wife.
Some people live their life by what a book written over a thousand year ago tells them to do or not to do, and others live by what they believe intrinsically is right or wrong. Personally i believe the latter is superior.
Good for you! that is wonderful. I tend to believe that people should not butt into other people's buisness and run their lives for them. It is great to have freedom of choice. Freedom to live our own lives without the moral police and the "I think you better do this..police" sticking their nose in...
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Originally posted by: Hardcore
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
It is none of his business.
It is not his wife, his marriage, his vow, his oaths, his life, his anything.
He is not the marriage police. He is not the moral police.
Unless it is under his nose, he should mind his own business. If it is affecting the guys work, or the guy is flaunting it, then he needs to take it up with the guy. It is not his place to tell the wife.
Some people live their life by what a book written over a thousand year ago tells them to do or not to do, and others live by what they believe intrinsically is right or wrong. Personally i believe the latter is superior.
Good for you! that is wonderful. I tend to believe that people should not butt into other people's buisness and run their lives for them. It is great to have freedom of choice. Freedom to live our own lives without the moral police and the "I think you better do this..police" sticking their nose in...
I believe the same thing as long as you're not hurting anybody else. I don't care if you do coke, steroids, gay sex, worshipping satan... if you're happy with what you do and it doesn't harm anybody else, the more power to you. But obviously if somebody is cheating on somebody else, although you may not be harmed, somebody possibly is. I'm not ruining anything if i do... the person who's committing the act ruined the marriage... by telling, i would hopefully empower the other person a bit.
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