Modonna/Whore Syndrome -- Does every man suffer from it?

[StormRider]

Okay, from what I've read many men suffer from the Modonna/Whore Syndrome.

Basically, it's where it's hard to think of "doing the nasty deed" with someone you love and respect. In other words, it's basically when a man thinks so highly of a girl that he puts her on a pedestal and can't even imagine doing the "dirty deed" with her. He can only have sex with her in a "respectable" way -- like only in the missionary position for example.

So he has pent up sexual desires and fantasies and uses prostitutes (or girls he doesn't respect) to satisfy those urges. Meanwhile his wife (or girlfriend) is sexually frustrated because sex is boring with her man.

Now, I've never been in a relationship but I sometimes wonder if I suffer from this. For example, I've never filled my mind with images of girls I've had crushes on when I'm not being "master of my domain", if you catch my drift. Instead the girls are usually faceless.

I couldn't fantasize about someone I have a crush on and then meeting her later in a study group and looking her in the eye -- you know what I mean?

The above seems like reasonable behavior to me and therefore I wonder how many of you guys suffer from it too.

When you are not "being master of your domain", what images fill your mind? Are they girls you have relationships/crushes/friendships with? Or are they faceless girls -- perhaps an image from some naughty video you saw?

What about you girls? Who do you fantasize about when you are "killing kittens"? Is it your boyfriend? Some guy you have a crush on? Some naughty image you saw on the internet?

 

[amnesiac]

Tasteless comment edited
Keep it mature people or serious
sexuality topic gets locked.


AnandTech Moderator

 

[Nocturnal]

Originally posted by: amnesiac
No, really. You're never going to get laid.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: amnesiac
No, really. You're never going to get laid.

*spews Coca Cola all OVER monitor*

Damn! Warn me when you're gonna cut loose like that! Damn, that was funny...you get a :beer: b/c you made me laugh.

 

[dolph]

did you really just ask atot who they fantasize about when they masturbate?

 

[amnesiac]

What you're describing is one of the fundamental differences between Love and Infatuation. It's almost quitting time so I'm too farking tired to get into it, but do a google search and it'll pop right up.

When you really, truly love someone, things like this don't happen unless you have severe sexual/psychological issues which require therapy.

 

[Marshallj]

I don't suffer from it.

At least to me, smart, nice, polite women are a turn on while showy, trashy women are a turn off.

 

[Kadarin]

The problem with this point of view is that it presumes that creative sexuality is not "respectable", when in reality it is (or should be).

 

[imported_Tomato]

Frustratingly enough, a majority of males I've met do.

Originally posted by: Marshallj
I don't suffer from it.

At least to me, smart, nice, polite women are a turn on while showy, trashy women are a turn off.

It doesn't have to be that extreme. Would you also expect that smart, nice, polite woman to be smart, nice and polite in bed, or would you want her to be wild and crazy ("whore"-ish, if you will... I detest that word, but it appears that's how society loves to label women who love sex)?

 

[ultimatebob]

Isn't there a men's health forum or something where you can ask questions like this? I mean, it's not like you're going to find a bunch of sex experts hanging around a tech forum on a Friday evening!

You wouldn't go a cat house to asking for computer help, would you?

 

[Marshallj]

Originally posted by: Dezign
It doesn't have to be that extreme. Would you also expect that smart, nice, polite woman to be smart, nice and polite in bed, or would you want her to be wild and crazy ("whore"-ish, if you will... I detest that word, but it appears that's how society loves to label women who love sex)?

They can act aggressive in bed without being "whorish". All they have to do is show some class.

 

[GasX]

I love my girlfriend AND I hit it...

 

[Zugzwang152]

Originally posted by: dolph
did you really just ask atot who they fantasize about when they masturbate?

i think about you dolph

 

[XZeroII]

Are you in my Sex, Lies and Immorality class??? We took a test a few weeks ago and one of the questions was "What is the Madonna Whore Dichotomy?". I had no clue (since I didn't read the book).

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: Marshallj

Originally posted by: Dezign
It doesn't have to be that extreme. Would you also expect that smart, nice, polite woman to be smart, nice and polite in bed, or would you want her to be wild and crazy ("whore"-ish, if you will... I detest that word, but it appears that's how society loves to label women who love sex)?

They can act aggressive in bed without being "whorish". All they have to do is show some class.

Define "show some class in bed". Some women are very classy, professional business-types during the day... yet in bed, all sorts of preferences can arise. Talking dirty (would you consider that classy? would you consider it whore-ish?), toys, all sorts of kink, etc. Would their bedroom attitude make them a "whore"? Would they have to be "classy" in bed as well as in life?

Gah. Men.

 

[Marshallj]

Originally posted by: Dezign

Define "show some class in bed". Some women are very classy, professional business-types during the day... yet in bed, all sorts of preferences can arise. Talking dirty (would you consider that classy? would you consider it whore-ish?), toys, all sorts of kink, etc. Would their bedroom attitude make them a "whore"? Would they have to be "classy" in bed as well as in life?

Gah. Men.

Like many things in life, it's all in the delivery.

Two women can say the same thing in the same situation, but the way they deliver the words makes a lot of difference. One can say something and it'll sound trashy, while another can say the exact same thing and it may sound classy.

The way a woman carries herself makes a lot of difference to me. What she does is one thing, but HOW she does it is another thing completely. Some people can pull it off, others cannot.

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: Marshallj

Originally posted by: Dezign

Define "show some class in bed". Some women are very classy, professional business-types during the day... yet in bed, all sorts of preferences can arise. Talking dirty (would you consider that classy? would you consider it whore-ish?), toys, all sorts of kink, etc. Would their bedroom attitude make them a "whore"? Would they have to be "classy" in bed as well as in life?

Gah. Men.

Like many things in life, it's all in the delivery.

Two women can say the same thing in the same situation, but the way they deliver the words makes a lot of difference. One can say something and it'll sound trashy, while another can say the exact same thing and it may sound classy.

The way a woman carries herself makes a lot of difference to me. What she does is one thing, but HOW she does it is another thing completely. Some people can pull it off, others cannot.

I won't even start giving examples to refute that.

Classy women can act trashy, trashy women can act classy. People need to expand beyond the binary way of thought, especially when it comes to classifying women.

 

[Marshallj]

Originally posted by: Dezign
I won't even start giving examples to refute that.

Classy women can act trashy, trashy women can act trashy. People need to expand beyond the binary way of thought, especially when it comes to classifying women.

If you can't even start to give examples to refute what I say, how do you expect to refute it? And I'm not the one who is thinking in binary, you are. You're the one that wanted me to "define class in bed".

I'm saying that it's hard to define, it's more abstract than that. How do you accurately describe class, charisma, attractiveness? It's hard.

How would you describe the difference in behavior between a slut and a lady? Obviously there is a difference since there are two different terms describing those actions.

Certain people can pull it off while others cannot. Not all women are able to seem sexy like Catherine Zeta Jones. Some just end up seeming cheap when they try it.

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: Marshallj

Originally posted by: Dezign
I won't even start giving examples to refute that.

Classy women can act trashy, trashy women can act trashy. People need to expand beyond the binary way of thought, especially when it comes to classifying women.

If you can't even start to give examples to refute what I say, how do you expect to refute it? And I'm not the one who is thinking in binary, you are. You're the one that wanted me to "define class in bed".

I'm saying that it's hard to define, it's more abstract than that. How do you accurately describe class, charisma, attractiveness? It's hard.

How would you describe the difference in behavior between a slut and a lady? Obviously there is a difference since there are two different terms describing those actions.

Certain people can pull it off while others cannot. Not all women are able to seem sexy like Catherine Zeta Jones. Some just end up seeming cheap when they try it.

That's just it. There is no "slut", and there is no "lady". That's binary, right there. That's an inability to see women as women, as opposed to "sluts" and "classy women". People change, women change, and they shouldn't be categorized as such.

 

[Marshallj]

Originally posted by: Dezign

That's just it. There is no "slut", and there is no "lady". That's binary, right there. That's an inability to see women as women, as opposed to "sluts" and "classy women". People change, women change, and they shouldn't be categorized as such.

No, I disagree with that. While people DO change, it's how they act the majority of the time which defines them.

I've met some pure sluts before, no doubt about it. No class at all, and they didn't seem to care.


Onlookers will define a person. If people look at someone and say, "that's a nice person", then you're considered a nice person. On the other hand, if you act a way which makes people say "that's a trashy person", then you're widely considered a trashy person.

Nobody is pure saint or sinner, but you do make your own track record. How you act the majority of the time will determine if people see you as a slut that occasionally acts nice, or a nice person than can occasionally acts slutty. It's how you act, and how well you pull it off.

 

[her209]

The only time I don't picture them naked is when they are fat and/or ugly.

 

[Marshallj]

In any event, it's a moot point talking about it.

You cannot change somebody's perspective by arguing with them. You can only change it by the way you act (and therefore the way they see you)

 

[StageLeft]

Every guy is attracted to a tramp (if she's a classy one), but no I've never had any problem with what you're saying...

 

[Isla]

MMMmmmm.....


If somebody up there likes me somebody up there cares
Deliver me from evil save me from these wicked snares
Not into temptation, not to cliffs of fall
On to revelation, and lesson for us all
She walked into the room on the arm of my best friend
I knew whatever happened our friendship would end
Chemical reaction, desire at first sight
Mystical attraction, turned out all my lights

The minute I saw her face, the second I caught her eye
The minute I touched the flame I knew it would never die

I don't know if it's pain or pleasure that I seek
My flesh was all too willing, my spirit guide was weak
I was deadly certain his thoughts for me weren't kind
A switchblade in his pocket, murder on his mind
Blessed St. Theresa the whore of Babylon
Madonna and my mother all rolled into one
You've got to understand me, I'm not a piece of wood
Francis of Assisi could never be this good

The less I need the more I get
Make me chaste but not just yet
It's a promise or a lie I'll repent before I die

The minute I saw her face, the second I caught her eye
The minute I touched the flame I knew it would never die
The minute I saw her face, the second I caught her eye
The minute I touched the flame I knew it would never die

Relax, have a cigar, make yourself at home. Hell is full of high court
judges, failed saints. We've got Cardinals, Archbishops, barristers,
certified accountants, music critics, they're all here. You're not
alone, you're never alone. Not here you're not. Okay, break's over.

The less I need the more I get
Make me chaste but not just yet
It's a promise or a lie I'll repent before I die

The minute I saw her face, the second I caught her eye
The minute I touched the flame I knew it would never die
The minute I saw her face, the second I caught her eye
The minute I touched the flame I knew it would never die

 

[Isla]

(Thank you, Sting (St Augustine in Hell) )