Originally posted by: Siva
Originally posted by: aidanjm
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Originally posted by: aidanjm
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Originally posted by: aidanjm
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
but porn is getting boring. Am I doomed?
but would you have sex with a nice guy if he landed on your door step? I get the impression you are disaproving of guys wanting to have sex with you, you have made comments like "guys want just one thing", etc.
I just want someone to date. You know, go out to eat with, shopping with, movies...stuff like that. Sex can wait. I want them to find me attractive, but at least to want to get to know me first.
Most guys don't want that. They want to have fun and get right to it.
what's wrong with getting right to it?
maybe you are to some extent asexual, simply not interested in sex. that could be a problem in a relationship, because your parter (assuming he has a typical sex drive) is going to feel rejected, deprived, unsexy, unattractive, etc. because you'll never be initiating sex with him
Because to me, sex is only a part of the equation. I don't want to have sex with someone I don't want to stay with.
I don't want to be someone's saturday night. I don't want to be used.
I am plenty interested in it, I guess I just find it to be an experience I want to share with someone I care for.
Does that make sense? Maybe I am crazy.
I just worry that your quaint morality is masking a deeper issue
It could mask a deeper issue or it could just mask something that we all have, which is insecurity. Sex can be very uncomfortable for those who don't have much experience. People who say they are "saving it" are often afraid to just take the pludge.
My question would be how much experience do you have with sex? I have always thought sex figures prominantly into a healthy relationship. Its part of us, a biological drive, and for the most part people need it to achieve some measure of a continued emotional connection with their significant other. I'm not saying sex is the only important part of a relationship, but I think it is a necissary part.
Being used and having sex are two very different things. If you date someone for a month and end up having sex I wouldn't say that's being used. I don't think you should have to wait a signficant amount of time to have sex. A one night stand is easy to avoid and its not hard to find someone who will wait 2-4 weeks until you feel comfortable enough to have sex with them. You should get to know the person and enjoy the time you spend together before you have sex. You should also be sure the realtionship will continue. IMO there doesn't have to be some sort of crazy "lets get married" idea of love.
I think today, once you pass a certain age, it is extremely difficult to find someone who will wait 4-6 months until you are able to cross some emotional boundry that you've erected in your brain by building up the importance of sex. Its nothing fantastically special and shouldn't be treated as such. The only hope you would have of finding someone who would want that kind of connection before sex is probably a very religious person. If you are gay (which other posters have said but the OP hasn't clarified) that's probably not very easy to find
Its hard to find gay religious fundamentalists.
How old are you?
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