Originally posted by: sourceninja
I was behind someone once who was driving very slow. My wife at the time pretended to give me a bj (which made my friends in the care behind me laugh). Eventually the care in front of me turned off. We got to where we were going and this guy shows up again directly behind me. He follows me around so I make 70mph dash around the parking lot to see if he was really following me. He was, so I parked and got out. He blocked me in and got in my face. I noticed he had a wife and kids in the car. He was scream about the fake bj and how his kids saw it and the impression I was making on his kids. I pointed out the example he was setting now. At this point he did the 'jock chest bump' and told me to take a shot or leave. I told him I was not leaving because a) I wanted to go to the mall and B) he was blocking me in. Also that I was having a good day and did not feel like spending a day in jail for assault. AT this point I see my friends about 1 lane over making hand signals basically asking me if I need help to beat this guy down (These are my old highschool friends, and are very rough guys, in fact, too rough for me and I no longer can hang with them). Again he tries to 'chest bump' and makes some more posturing. I was thinking about my options ( fight him, get in my car and start backing out at his car, stand my ground, pull my pistol, etc) when security shows up.
He pulls out a badge from his back pocket and goes on about how he is a cop. Now I should point out this guy was like 6'2" and built and I'm 5'9" and about 155 pounds. The security guy says he saw this guy block me in, assault me, etc and would be happy to call the police if I want to press charges. I tell him what I want is to go to the mall with my friends and stop wasting time. He tells the guy he and his family need to leave and may not come back to the mall on this day. The guys wife starts screaming about how that is 'not fair'. He gets in the security guys face and a few seconds later 2 more security guys show up. At this point the guy tries to 'chest bump' one of the bigger guards, who backs up and puts his hand on his side (not a gun, but maybe pepper spray). Another guy says something into his radio and then 2 county cops show up. They know this guy (and I guess they don't like him) and they call his boss, who then proceeds to show up and ream him out and tell him he may lose his job.
Finally about 1 hour after this all started I'm allowed to leave and somehow managed to not give any statement to the police. I went and got an orange julius.