Man, my dad can make me think..

[Viper GTS]

OK, if your sister is living at home, bringing home $3K a month, & not paying rent she's being a leech. I'm sorry, but at 23 you should be paying rent to support your ass. I've been paying rent since I was 17, & I'm maklng a hell of a lot less than she is.

Viper GTS

 

[urbantechie]

<< OK, if your sister is living at home, bringing home $3K a month, &amp; not paying rent she's being a leech. I'm sorry, but at 23 you should be paying rent to support your ass. I've been paying rent since I was 17, &amp; I'm maklng a hell of a lot less than she is. >>



Exactly my point. Thats why my dad got all pissed and so did my mom. She says she has bills to pay too. Like what? A student loan and $100 on clothes? My dad has credit card bills 20K+ almost...

 

[ForeverSilky]

Your dad should just kick her leeching ass out of the house.

 

[tim0thy]

i totally agree with this. i was supporting the family in some way ever since i was 20, even if it was paying one or two bills a month. your sister is just being greedy. :|

 

[urbantechie]

She wants to save money for a down payment for a car. My dad said just a couple grand isn't going to help a big deal. She still doesn't listen.

 

[Viper GTS]

Evict her. That should wake her up quick. She can't expect to have her life paid for at the age of 23 when she has a job. She needs to learn to support herself. Tell her to go find an apartment that will let her rent on those terms.

Landlord: You wanna do what?
Lazy ass sister: I want to live in your complex, but you see I don't want to pay rent for six months because I want to save a down-payment for my Ferrari. So if you'll kindly show me to my place, I'll start moving in.

She'd get her ass laughed off the property.

You think maybe there's a reason I drive a <$3K car (even less now that I wrecked it)? Because I can't FREAKING AFFORD an expensive car. She has to learn eventually.

Viper GTS

 

[Imaginer]

Sounds like I am in the same boat you are in urbantechie and I didn't even know it. :Q

Yeah my dad and mom both go off on making good grades and getting a good job. They also go off telling me stories of how they were in Vietnam and stuff like that. My dad came here to the states and worked as a cook, a electronics repair and he even cleaned the streets of Japan while he was in school there.

My mom went by those small boats before the US ships picked her up. She told me she worked in shops in canada to support herself.

Stuff like this that does not make my current situation better... Now I am down.

 

[urbantechie]

Yea, they get me all sad fromt he stories. Like my dad who had to flee Vietnam because if the VC's caught him and found out he worked for MIA, they would of killed him. So he had flee on those damn little boats and told me there was no food or water for 6 days and the smell of dead bodies :disgust:...

 

[Imaginer]

It makes me mad because I got a 2.6 in the first semester!!!! :| My dad was not too thrilled.

 

[Supradude]

man do i feel you guys... we all in da same old-skool asian parents expectation spiral,... my mom keeps telling me how they left my dad's propserous job in HK to protect us from HK takeover in 97&quot; and to ensure our future (my and sis)... i understand that we would be much better off in HK right now or even if we left like 5 years later than we did... but i think the guilt trip is a little uncalled for ya know... the parents should hope for the best for children and such but should not be expecting a &quot;payback&quot;... if they raise us right ( it think my parents did a pretty darn good job) , we will turn around and treat them right in the end...

 

[urbantechie]

I'm doing bad in school too

 

[tim0thy]

they are just telling you to make something of your life. don't get sad, get inspired.

 

[mAdD INDIAN]

Here's my take on it.

When I'm earning money I'd give money to my parents if I'm living with them. If not, I'd be more that willing to give money to them should they need it or ask for it. As for kids paying rent to their parents..I don't think that's right. They shouldn't pay rent to stay in their parents' house...I mean it's their parents! Not some stranger! Maybe I have a different view on parents than you do..but I feel that it's wrong. Especially the part you said about evicting the sister..that's just wrong. You can't evict your child! I mean you should teach her a lesson to pay the $600 but evicting is going to far.

My $0.02 CDN.

 

[urbantechie]

Another thing is that in Chinese culture, the man in the house is the one who supports and stays with the elders. Why? The girl always takes the last name of her husband and leaves with him. The guys, are supposed to keep the familiy name and stay with the parent's forever. So they rely on me alot and my dad says that if he does pass-away, i'll have to look out for everyone. Kinda sucks...

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

yep thats got to be some tough memories for them and you... I hope you sister can see the light, but sounds like she might be in a bit of a power struggle and that is why she is getting bent about the money thing. i don't know what to tell you though, other than just keep talking about it and sooner or later she might give in just to shut you up.

good luck

 

[urbantechie]

If my family was well off, we wouldn't of had this thread. If we were well off, they wouldn't care if I got bad grades (not to bring offence to anyone, but why is it always white people do bad in school and their parent's don't give a fvck). If we were well off, they wouldn't be asking for money. Thats why it seems so many Asian kids do so well in school because of pressure. Not just they are smart.

 

[tim0thy]

you shouldn't generalize, i know plenty of caucasians that give a damn about their children's grades in school.

it's just in the asian culture, you're expected to succeed. for example, when i graduated from college, everyone was congratulating me, i just said, it's ok. why? because it was expected i graduate college, i'm smart enough to do so.

 

[gunf1ghter]

Geez, I'll probably get flamed for saying this, but it sounds like a pyramid marketing scheme to me. I think it's great to help your parents out, and I would probably be willing to help out my parents if they needed the help... but asking me for a specific amount of money monthly?

So when you have kids of your own you have to support your own kids and your parents?

Sorry but I don't understand this. If you can't afford to raise some kids then don't have kids.

 

[urbantechie]

Yea I guess. But it seems all my friends who are white are like, &quot;Heh, I have 5 F's. This is cool! My mom told me if I pass PE she will take me out for dinner!!&quot;


Anyways, my whole family (aunts, uncles..etc) always tries to encourage me to do good. I think if I had grandparent's I would do better. (I don't have any grandparent's) My only encouragement I think I have it from my late uncle who passed away in the 50s, he was I think the most famous photographer in Vietnam at the time and i've been into photography all my life.


This thread seems to be like the background to my family...

 

[AlphaIVT]

damn, my dad is like that too, except he doesn't want the money, just our love. My dad's company is doing pretty bad now here, but he just made a new factory on the East Coast, so he'll be raking in $1 million for the company within 4 years

Its always been &quot;get a good education&quot; &quot;do good in school&quot; everything. My dad talks to me about this so much, maybe its the fact that I'm screwing up. My sister and brother gets pretty good grades, all As, and lots of Bs. but i'm the one trying to get just Bs.

 

[urbantechie]

gunf1ghter: Well, my parent's didn't say they want $600 this month and this much this month etc. My sister knows shes supposed to give them some since she DOES owe them money. So they asked for $600 and she went berzerk.

 

[Mister T]

Here are some of my thoughts.

People who are &quot;poor&quot; or don't make alot of money, should not have alot of kids - end of story. Kids cost money and a person that needs to care for the child for 18 years must be economically able. My parents would have loved to have 3 or 4 kids, but they were poor!!!!!! My mom is a hairdresser and my dad a janitor.

My parents do not expect me to support them in their old age. They know if they ever needed help, I would be the 1st to offer assistance. My dad once told me that when and if I made 10X his income he wants me to give him 10,000 dollars to buy a new car. For the past 20 years my dad has been driving a POS car worth less than 1K.

About kids paying parents rent. There is no cut and dry answer. If I am living with my parents and they are i trouble financially, as child you MUST help your parents. Or if you child expects to be supported his/her life and does no understand the value of the dollar, then they should be paying rent too.

As far as China being a 3rd world country. Does anyone know the criterion for being a 3rd world country? Just because a country has nukes, does not mean a huge % of its population is living in poverty. What is the average income for someone that lives in China?

 

[gunf1ghter]

Urbantechie

that totally changes things, and it didn't sound from your original post that she had a debt but rather that they wanted a continual stream of income from her.

 

[urbantechie]

Well, my dad would like the kids to give him moeny every month. But don't give him $20 to spend to MickeyD's. Something reasonable.

 

[AlphaIVT]

not sure if this was already said, but most Asian families are like, wanting their kids to get a good education and make money to help the family out.