LMAO

pyonir · Mar 13, 2005

bullshit

MmmSkyscraper · Mar 13, 2005

From Grouphug:

"i work at Dairy Queen and before i went to work i felt like chokin the chicken so i did like 20 minutes before work and went straight to a busy day and laughed everytime i made ice cream and bananna splits using my bare hands."

dudeman007 · Mar 15, 2005

revived

Text

EyeMWing · Mar 15, 2005

Originally posted by: lukatmyshu
#5273 +(17429)- [X]

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

I love this one pretty much because it happened at work for a while (we had just moved offices and no one could figure out where one of the machines was. That machine hosted our development webserver so it kind of sucked for a few days).

Shit, I've had that happen in my damned house. I *STILL* don't know where that box is, but it stopped responding to ping after a power fail. One day I'll be tearing out a wall or something and find a Pentium 2 treasure.

UNCjigga · Mar 15, 2005

Originally posted by: OREOSpeedwagon
here's another one, lol

Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a fvcked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest sh!t in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in sh!t. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some sh!t and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

OMG its Shailen!!! I knew he'd admit it on the Internet!!!

b0mbrman · Mar 15, 2005

Originally posted by: LeetViet
http://www.bash.org/?446931

Oh man...that's awful

Laughing at that is reason #1057 that I'm going to hell

b0mbrman · Mar 15, 2005

Originally posted by: MAME
http://bash.org/?302824

woo

How is this accomplished?

Zee · Mar 15, 2005

Originally posted by: b0mbrman

Originally posted by: MAME
http://bash.org/?302824

woo

Click to expand...

How is this accomplished?

they have it for cars too. It's a little device that for a certain radius, overrides a certain radio frequency. It's like 20 bucks.

Anubis · Mar 15, 2005

Originally posted by: Jigga

Originally posted by: OREOSpeedwagon
here's another one, lol

Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a fvcked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest sh!t in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in sh!t. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some sh!t and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

Click to expand...

OMG its Shailen!!! I knew he'd admit it on the Internet!!!

what? you know this person

b0mbrman · Mar 15, 2005

Originally posted by: Lazee

Originally posted by: b0mbrman

Originally posted by: MAME
http://bash.org/?302824

woo

Click to expand...

How is this accomplished?

Click to expand...

they have it for cars too. It's a little device that for a certain radius, overrides a certain radio frequency. It's like 20 bucks.

I've seen that...It usually only overrides the lowest frequency in the radio...Didn't know one that could override any radio frequency was easily available///

Slimline · Mar 15, 2005

#282091 +(1179)- [X]

<Kathleen> wtflolz
<Alex> lololorz
<Kevin> lol]
<Alex> haga
<Alex> 0wneef
<Kathleen> omg y3s.
<[X]> Is this some sort of idiot mating ritual? Should I get the Discovery Channel in here with cameras?

LOL!!!

Slimline · Mar 15, 2005

THis site is killing my final assignment lol!

#7178 +(291)- [X]

<BeLLa`> does sperm die when it hits the air, msg me if u know
<carcin0gen-> sounds like someone got a 3 pointer

ActuaryTm · Mar 15, 2005

The following two quotations coupled together offer a surprisingly accurate depiction of the online experience, in general:

#3936:
<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that

#205408:
<malaclypse> The general rule on about people on IRC seems to be "Attractive, single, mentally stable: choose two"

One of my favorite however (other than Bloodninja) remains this one:

#289218
<Cedaie> Your ignorance isn't helping.
<@KTottE> How am I ignorant?
<Cedaie> <@KTottE> Do it again, do it right - Ooh great help *clap* *clap*
<@KTottE> http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=ignorant
<@KTottE> Maybe the word you were searching for was http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=arrogant ?
<Cedaie> yeah thats the one
<Cedaie> Your arrogance isn't helping,
<@KTottE> Neither is your ignorance

Shawn · Jun 6, 2005

KoolDrew · Jun 6, 2005

Originally posted by: Tremulant
ahahaha

BrokenVisage · Jun 6, 2005

good bump

SVT Cobra · Jun 6, 2005

after reading some of these again i am still LMFAO!

gasping for air

Chode Messiah · Jun 6, 2005

roflcopter

iwantanewcomputer · Jun 6, 2005

wow, i didn't notice these quotes in the first ellevendy billion threads about the bash.org top 100

alien42 · Jun 6, 2005

on political and one technical

#86960 +(460)- [X]

<qp_zulrich-EE> both hitler and bush got the power... only one had a brain D:
<samurai> bush has a brain
<samurai> its just really really small
<V|JFreak> dude
<V|JFreak> he WAVED at stevie wonder.....

#231741 +(867)- [X]

<@Sprache> what do you guys know about the company that makes RealPlayer?
<@KtuLi> I'd tell you, but the information is still buffering

Nikamichi · Jun 6, 2005

Originally posted by: MCrusty

Originally posted by: blackinches
blackinches approves.

Click to expand...

blackinches is a moron

bring back blackinches

SVT Cobra · Jun 6, 2005

Originally posted by: alien42

<@Sprache> what do you guys know about the company that makes RealPlayer?
<@KtuLi> I'd tell you, but the information is still buffering

LOVE IT!

thehstrybean · Jun 6, 2005

Originally posted by: datalink7
#101881 +(846)- [X]

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it
ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my
breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to
charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic
symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide
and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in
the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

#206068 +(17)- [X]

bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.

ROFLMAO!!
"bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to
charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic
symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide
and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in
the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now."
&
"bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch."
Those are the best parts...

oogabooga · Jun 6, 2005

oh man

i can't read this crap at work, people keep looking at me funny when i laugh out loud.

NiKeFiDO · Jun 6, 2005

Originally posted by: OREOSpeedwagon
here's another one, lol

Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a fvcked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest sh!t in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in sh!t. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some sh!t and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

....wow

LMAO

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