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LMAO

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Originally posted by: OREOSpeedwagon
Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face
Primus521: omfg
Primus521: til the day i die
Primus521: i will never forget it
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thanks for that :laugh:

 
#207373 +(6965)- [X]

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fvckers)
<anamexis> :<


this one is awesome...
 
#125283 +(5496)- [X]

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fvck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/


wow... that would suck

this site is awesome
 
Originally posted by: OREOSpeedwagon
oh man, i just seriously LMFAO at this one..

<beser> Today my History class took a feild trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Its a museum showing kids not to be prejudice and all that good stuff.
<beser> Anyways, one exhibit is two doors next to each other. One door has a sign hanging over it saying "Those with prejudice walk through this door" The other door's sign said "Those without prejudice walk through this door". Obviously the door for people without prejudice isn't openable because as the tour guide says "Everyone has prejudice".
<beser> So, I start tugging on the door and say "What the hell is wrong with this damn door, did some damn Jew make this?" and the tour guide kicked me out and i had to sit in the bus for 15 minutes
Click to expand...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
Originally posted by: ribbon13
Originally posted by: element
Originally posted by: supafly
#77904 +(4432)- [X]

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%
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what's wrong with that? I don't get it?

67+13 is 80, and the other 20%? They are guys on the intarweb pretending to be girls...

j/k
Click to expand...


Assuming V means valley, the punchline is her air-head math skills

Sh!t just isn't funny explained....

Edit: even less so when I'm blind and don't see j/k
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let me break it down for you since you obviously missed it:

67% of girls are stupid
13% this is where v-girl resides, in the still stupid as an onion but slightly less stupid than the 67% category.
20% are guys on the webar pretending to be girls.

so you see it all adds up and.....

well you're right about explaining it ruining the joke at least.
 
Originally posted by: OREOSpeedwagon
here's another one, lol

Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a fvcked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest sh!t in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in sh!t. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some sh!t and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.
Click to expand...

BWAHAHAHAHHA

that is great
 
bash.org is awesome.

#48164 +(653)- [X]
<Hat> Someone explain this to me.
<Hat> On an 80 minute CD
<Hat> I somehow recorded 1 hour and 15 minutes of music
<Lobot> That's 75 minutes.
<Hat> .....
<Hat> oh. right.
<Hat> Goddamn time.
 
I hate to bring this back but....

[guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even hack people on irc,but this real good hacker keeps hacking into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ
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Originally posted by: endscape
I hate to bring this back but....

[guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even hack people on irc,but this real good hacker keeps hacking into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

HAHA NOOB
 
Originally posted by: malak
Originally posted by: endscape
I hate to bring this back but....

[guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even hack people on irc,but this real good hacker keeps hacking into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

HAHA NOOB
Click to expand...

I don't even use/know how to use IRC and that's just pathetically funny. (I do know what NickServ is, though.)

(One of these days maybe I'll learn.)
 
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances 😀-<
* nmp3bot dances 😀|-<
* nmp3bot dances 😀/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

BHAHAHA!
 
One more for the night... LMAO!


<Matrix_McCloud> i can't imagine sticking anything in your mouth farther than like 4 inches
<Matrix_McCloud> without puking
<Oolong> you have to do it a certain way
<Oolong> if you line your throat up right it just slides in
<Oolong> or if his schlong is bent downwars
<Matrix_McCloud> then if it touches the edge, your nose lights up red and beeps
 
<MegaDeth> family pack of condoms
<MegaDeth> hehehe
<MegaDeth> that's amusing on so many levels

Couldn't find any real good ones, so this one will be my contribution, allthough mediocre.
 
Originally posted by: Forsythe
<MegaDeth> family pack of condoms
<MegaDeth> hehehe
<MegaDeth> that's amusing on so many levels

Couldn't find any real good ones, so this one will be my contribution, allthough mediocre.
Click to expand...

Thought that this one was one of the funniest. What a bunch of dirty frags! 😀
 
Originally posted by: nife4
#207373 +(6965)- [X]

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fvckers)
<anamexis> :<


this one is awesome...
Click to expand...

lol, best one posted.
 
This is one of my favorite. Its a long one but funny

http://www.bash.org/?75154

This is also a great one

<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha

And i dont know if this is real or not but if it is this guy is an idot...

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.
 
wow, someone bumped this thread 😛

I'm LMAO at this one:

<Meph|st0> Complaint : BOUGTH IT FOR MY COUSIN WHO HAD CANCER, ITEM NEVER ARRIVED AND MY COUSIN DIED
<Meph|st0> thats the greatest ebay feedback i have ever seen
 
#5273 +(17429)- [X]

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

I love this one pretty much because it happened at work for a while (we had just moved offices and no one could figure out where one of the machines was. That machine hosted our development webserver so it kind of sucked for a few days).
 
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