Good job dude. Working through the discomfort, or outright pain, for rehab and hopefully renewed athleticism at some point, well it's a SOB.
Having had a comminuted fracture of the left clavicle, and distal clavicle fracture with grade 3 separation of the right shoulder, I can somewhat relate to your difficulties.
But this is going somewhere, not hijacking the thread.
The last shoulder injury, the right, was a decade or so ago, I was early to mid 40s. Now, in mid 50s everything is rehabbed and I am nearly pain free. Point being, keep with the eating plan, and rehab consistently, and you will amaze yourself with how far your recovery can go.
I can relate to the depression phase too. Happened after my knee surgery. Ended up with a spare tire gut, which never having had one, did a number on my psychological health, even more than my physical health. That was tough sledding, because it wasn't vanity, it was a sense of being broken and semi useless. The uncertainty of what my future health would be like? Would the pain and discomfort ever abate? Feeling like a burden on my loved ones. Add to that what weight gain does physiologically, and it was a bad cocktail.
And I am not going to talk about using your will power, that is finite, and you use it up. It's grim determination; implacable and relentless. I am the - "because fuck you that's why" type. I think we can all be if we draw on it. That's my advice: You will rehab the shoulders, lose the unhealthy weight, and get to the mental, emotional, and physical state you need, because you CAN stop, but you won't. Why? Because fuck that, that's why.