Just found out my gf is cheating on me!!!

[MaxDepth]

Hmmmm. Personally, I do not see it as cheeting. I see dating as dating. When you get married and agree on a monogamous relationship - then it is cheeting if she goes elsewhere. You two can agree on being monogamous while dating but I just never coped to that being implicit. I've always asked that question while I am dating someone. Sex is a subset of dating and the reverse does not hold true. Think aboot it.

However, it seems that you are upset and that lack of quality time together is being used an excuse.

So...

(This is only if you two are having sex) tell her that something is not "right" with you and that you think you have to go see a doctor. Does she want to you anything before you go? Before the doctor tells you?


Unfortunately my best friend did have to go to the doctor because his girlfriend was sleeping around while he was out of town. But of course this means that you'll be lying to her and she's cheating on. Sucks.

 

[neovan]

Originally posted by: MaxDepth
Hmmmm. Personally, I do not see it as cheeting. I see dating as dating. When you get married and agree on a monogamous relationship - then it is cheeting if she goes elsewhere. You two can agree on being monogamous while dating but I just never coped to that being implicit. I've always asked that question while I am dating someone. Sex is a subset of dating and the reverse does not hold true. Think aboot it. However, it seems that you are upset and that lack of quality time together is being used an excuse. So... (This is only if you two are having sex) tell her that something is not "right" with you and that you think you have to go see a doctor. Does she want to you anything before you go? Before the doctor tells you? Unfortunately my best friend did have to go to the doctor because his girlfriend was sleeping around while he was out of town. But of course this means that you'll be lying to her and she's cheating on. Sucks.

Are you saying that you wouldn't mind someone else fvking your fiancee because technically you're not married yet?

 

[LuckyTaxi]

Update on the situation. Got sick and tired of waiting around until tonight so I could talk to her other friend, Mary. Mary knows much more about this than jane does.

So, I called my gf and right away I asked her where she was last night. She said four times she was @ Mary's house. Each time asking me why I wanna know. Finally I yelled and told her she better tell me the truth. She finally said she went out with her "friend." I asked who and she said she met some new ppl and she's hanging out with them. I asked who this person is and she actually told me it's Mary bf's brother. So right there I'm like "crap, she didnt lie this time." Anyways, i asked her why she has to be so discreet about everything. her response? "well, that's because you dont care about me. I tell you something and you just nod to it."

This is very true and I know one thing that i dont show is my jealous side. Now, I'm not the type to get so jealous if my gf flirts with other ppl because I flirt with her friends. I just leave it at that. Each time she tells me she's just "friends" with him. I told her I dont think so and that's when she says "you think im sleeping with him?" I told her I dont know but anything is possible. This is when she says "so, now you think Im a slut! im your gf and you think I'm a slut" i told her I didnt even say that, I just said i dont know what she's doing behind my back and anything is possible."

So, we argued back and forth and I finally told her to go to hell and go call the guy. She yells back at me telling me not to act like this. Tells me she can have guy friends just like I have girl friends. Then out of the blue she says "maybe I dont trust you." I'm thinking what the heck does this have to do with me. I know she's been overprotected with me becuz I attend college and she's afraid I will find someone whos smarter than her and i'll go with someone else. she knows deep down inside she cant find anyone else like me. everyone she meets is a loser (look at the guy she's befriended!)

Anyways, we hung up pissd at one another, but I really didn't say "it's over." I need to talk to mary and get the whole scoop. Mary told Jane that my gf was making out with the guy. Whether that is true or not, I don't know and I need mary to confirm it. I would feel pretty stupid if she's just a friend. I mean, I have a female friend who I go out with when my gf is busy. so it's mutual, but i dont go making out with my friend.

btw...jane is cute and she's the idea girl. too bad she's taken by some 36 y/o guy. she's only 20 and she too complains her bf doesnt take her out becuz of the age difference, he feels shy around her friends. hmmmm...

 

[Ramsnake]

firstly dont overestimate physical contact, yes u can get upset because ur girl friend slept with someone else. but she did call u and say she cared about you right?. sometimes people just get carried away. i have a friend who slept with three woman(maybe more) over a period of 3yrs when he was is a solid relationship with his gf. he did deeply love his gf , but he got carried away sometimes, offcourse his philosophy of relationships was different, when he did have sex with other women , it is just for the kicks and pleasure with no degree of intimacy involved, also he says if not for society's constraints , he would have slept with more women. talk to her and tell her that u dont like it, i.e in case she admits to "sleeping"....notice that i have sleeping in quotes and not cheating as u put it forward. hope u get something useful from here, i didnt go thru the volume of posts in this thread, so i might be wrong here and there.

 

[gunf1ghter]

She's trying to turn things around on you man. That's a classic sign of manipulative behavior. The best thing you can do right now is to LEAVE HER. If you part ways and still care about each other then it will all work out in the end.

 

[oLLie]

Don't let her blame you!
You better find out for sure whether they are just friends or what.

(and dang! to that 20 y/o w/ a 36 y/o bf!)

 

[LuckyTaxi]

there's no way she's putting all this on me! That for sure I am not going to tolerate!

yes, i have to find out if they are friends. i think i've been with her long enough and known her for quite
sometime that I think maybe the relationship is worth salvaging. one thing about her that i really like is
that shes very caring when it comes to my needs. to be honest with you, she's the perfect wife. I truly
believe that if i was done with school and we spent more time with each other, things will be much better!

so in the meantime, i am going to talk to mary tonight around 6pm! im sitting here anxiously waiting for her
to get home from work. in the meantime im killing time browsing the web.

yes, sick regarding jane and her bf.

 

[rahvin]

Oh it's definately your fault. You made her go out with other people. And when she hits you in the face you made her do that to. If she does anything that isn't acceptable you made her do it. Run away boy, run away fast and hard. She's maniuplative, needy and may have other serious mental issues.

 

[UltraQuiet]

Kick the bitch to the curb and move on.

 

[BCYL]

I think you should leave her even if your gf and her little friend are "just friends"...

From your description, your gf is too needy, and it's quite obvious SHE doesnt even trust you... And after this incident, I dont think you can ever trust her fully again... This cannot be a healthy relationship... Trust is the most important thing in a relationship...

Just end it and move on...

 

[LuckyTaxi]

wait until her mommmy finds out that we broke up (assuming we break up). her parents really like me thinking that we would be marry
one day. Her 15 y/o sis is marrying some 19 y/o moron who doesnt work and sits at home and watches cable all day. yet she loves him. they're getting married in sept. so, her parents are happy one of their daughter has someone who has the potential to be someone one day.

 

[neovan]

Damn...asian guys are too nice! They should learn to stand up for themselves and not let other people run their lives. Get some cajones and stand your ground.

btw...i'm asian and i was nice a long time ago! :|

lilcam, don't let her make you submit...it will be worse if you decide to stay with her

 

[Zombie]

hmm you wanna be with her cause she takes care of your needs ???
Don't worry man you will be able to afford a Maid soon that ought to take care of half of your problems.

have no idea what you should do about the sex part may be you can offer the maid a little something to help you out.

 

[gunf1ghter]

You need to stop worrying about how this will piss off her, her parents, her friends, etc. Just tell her that it's over because she lied to you and was kissing and making out with another guy. Then don't call her. If a month or two goes by and she is still feeling bad and trying to get in touch with you to make things up then maybe it's worth a 2nd shot.

 

[jkoXP]

sure, she can have guys friends to an extent....... she dosnt need to be hanging out with him every friggin night, or at all if it were up to me.. things can happen... not even on purpose.. you really gotta lay the law down..... some girls just have a flirty outgoing nature. most of those girls arent too trusting.

ive been in the same situation..... loved the girl very much.... we ended up breaking up but i have an even better understanding caring gf that dosnt hang out with guys, cus she knows my past and knows that bothers me..

i hope this works out for you, cus i know this feeling your going through.

 

[hoihtah]

dude...

rebound relationships are doom to failure..
don't go for jane now.

it only shows that you're desperate.
and nothing good comes out from desperation.

make a clean cut.
don't be bitter.
just cut yourself off of that relationship.
don't ever look back.
(this is possibly the worst thing you could do)

 

[ndee]

I know EXACTLY how ya feel.... I'm sorry for you, really.... drop her as soon as possible.

 

[richd111]

Dude, if you want to try and salvage this relationship, go ahead. This part is what I have problems with:

"She said four times she was @ Mary's house. Each time asking me why I wanna know. Finally I yelled and told her she better tell me the truth. She finally said she went out with her "friend." I asked who and she said she met some new ppl and she's hanging out with them. I asked who this person is and she actually told me it's Mary bf's brother. So right there I'm like "crap, she didnt lie this time." Anyways, i asked her why she has to be so discreet about everything. her response? "well, that's because you dont care about me. I tell you something and you just nod to it."


She acts like it's all innocent to have a guy friend, but she felt the need to hide it from you, and lie to your face four times. If it was just an innocent time hanging out together, she would not feel the need to hide it from you, IMHO.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: richd111
Dude, if you want to try and salvage this relationship, go ahead. This part is what I have problems with:

"She said four times she was @ Mary's house. Each time asking me why I wanna know. Finally I yelled and told her she better tell me the truth. She finally said she went out with her "friend." I asked who and she said she met some new ppl and she's hanging out with them. I asked who this person is and she actually told me it's Mary bf's brother. So right there I'm like "crap, she didnt lie this time." Anyways, i asked her why she has to be so discreet about everything. her response? "well, that's because you dont care about me. I tell you something and you just nod to it."


She acts like it's all innocent to have a guy friend, but she felt the need to hide it from you, and lie to your face four times. If it was just an innocent time hanging out together, she would not feel the need to hide it from you, IMHO.

That's pretty much what I was thinking when I read that... she should have no reason to hide it from you.

 

[Optimus]

lilcam:

She has you hook, line, and sinker, friend.

Please listen to tscenter.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Optimus
lilcam:

She has you hook, line, and sinker, friend.

Please listen to tscenter.

Again... I would agree with Optimus/tscenter. Any updates?

 

[Nocturnal]

sorry to hear that. but when this type of thing happens to me, 1. i find the bastard who she was fooling around with and i set him straight. i really dont give a crap if hes a gang banger who drinks all day. and secondly, i yell at the girl for doing it, and make her feel bad. because she should feel bad. she should have broken it off in the first place instead of cheating on you.

you deserve someone better. and youll definately find someone better who appreciates you, your schooling/education, and job later on in life.

take care, and i hope those guys she fooled around with get what they deserve.

 

[Pacfanweb]

<< she's afraid I will find someone whos smarter than her >>


Doesn't sound like that would be very hard to do.

 

[Geekbabe]

You've wasted a year, don't be stupid like me or you'll find yourself sitting there some day wondering where 11 yrs of your life went and kicking yourself for being stupid

 

[DAPUNISHER]

Originally posted by: baffled2
You've wasted a year, don't be stupid like me or you'll find yourself sitting there some day wondering where 11 yrs of your life went and kicking yourself for being stupid

It's not your fault you loved him and he loved himself more Anyways you always have us to kick around