Just found out my gf is cheating on me!!!

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: DAPUNISHER

Originally posted by: baffled2
You've wasted a year, don't be stupid like me or you'll find yourself sitting there some day wondering where 11 yrs of your life went and kicking yourself for being stupid

It's not your fault you loved him and he loved himself more Anyways you always have us to kick around

LOL,I'm way past being sad about it... hey, he just took whatever the traffic would bear, I was the stupid one but heck,some lessons cost more than others and I learned plenty,can't ask for more than that

 

[kranky]

Originally posted by: Nocturnal
1. i find the bastard who she was fooling around with and i set him straight.

Why be mad at him? He wasn't in the relationship.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: DAPUNISHER

Originally posted by: baffled2
You've wasted a year, don't be stupid like me or you'll find yourself sitting there some day wondering where 11 yrs of your life went and kicking yourself for being stupid

It's not your fault you loved him and he loved himself more Anyways you always have us to kick around

You always have me to "kick around", baff... *flutters eyelashes*

j/k!!!!!

 

[Chrono]

lilcam
dump the girl
you don't need this in your life... finish your schooling and become successful so you can drive by in your new $100,000 car and drive by her "hood" and see her living in the projects off of welfare.

dump the biatch.

only uh... a few billion more girls for you *cough*
dump!
DO IT DO IT DO IT!

do not forgive. there is no reason to. there is *NO* good reason for cheating on someone. "You don't have enough time for me." d00d, if she really cared and understood you she would be supporting you and pushing you on about school. !#@$@#$#@$ her.

 

[Red Dawn]

Get over it. This is going to seem like minor BS later in life when the real crises hit your whiny ass.

You ever think the reason she's cheating on you is because you just don't cut it for her? You are the best thing she's ever had? Well then maybe she needs to do some more sampling because any whiner who takes his personal problems to a Forum such as this really isn't worth writing home about.


Dude, we don't care about you and your problems. At most it's just an opportunity to gossip and give out bad advice..maybe reading about your pathetic trials and tribulations makes the rest feel better about their lives.

 

[gunf1ghter]

really Red Dawn, tell us how you feel?

 

[tcsenter]

Anyways, i asked her why she has to be so discreet about everything. her response? "well, that's because you dont care about me. I tell you something and you just nod to it."

Sound familiar? "I wouldn't have done what I did if you didn't do what you did."

This is very true and I know one thing that i dont show is my jealous side. Now, I'm not the type to get so jealous if my gf flirts with other ppl because I flirt with her friends. I just leave it at that.

NOOO! Ok, this isn't funny, I'm starting to think you may be dating my EX!

Actually, there is an identifiable pattern about women with certain insecurities, so its common to find the same characteristics in different women. My ex confused "jealousy" as a sign of love under the following premise: If you didn't care about someone, then you wouldn't care what they were doing or who they were doing it with, but if you were jealous, it meant that you cared.

It has a certain ring to it, except for one problem: Jealousy is one of the most destructive forces in the world and it is NOT a 'positive' trait in any way. Jealousy is NOT love, nor does it mean you care about someone.

There are a LOT of jealous men out there who don't give a damn about their women, they just can't stand the thought of them being with someone else, as if the woman is their 'property'. "I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to have you, either."

People murder and do other terrible things motivated by jealousy, jealousy does not = love.

 

[Spac3d]

Originally posted by: Pacfanweb
<< she's afraid I will find someone whos smarter than her >>

Doesn't sound like that would be very hard to do.

LOL so true. If you get back with her she will know that she will be able to use you again and again and again and you will always take her back. Bring her back to reality by dumping her.

Also, listen to your friends that know both you and her. You are obviously blinded by the relationship - they know better... and they say drop her like shes hot.

Good luck

Spac3d

 

[tcsenter]

Well then maybe she needs to do some more sampling because any whiner who takes his personal problems to a Forum such as this really isn't worth writing home about.

Yeah, how dare you lilcam actually attempt to admit that you don't know the answer to every problem...like Red Dawn does, of course.

Further, what's with this crazy ass thing called 'looking for some advice'? What the hell? Don't you know everything, don't you have everything all figured out? Red Dawn seems to...why don't you?

 

"Dude, we don't care about you and your problems. At most it's just an opportunity to gossip and give out bad advice..maybe reading about your pathetic trials and tribulations makes the rest feel better about their lives."

LOL! Red Dawn, you do so well speaking on behalf of us all. Wow!

Did you by chance have a bad day?

To the original poster: I'm a little too tired to read through this thread. But the theme is always the same in almost all cases. I don't expect you to be happy, but you should be grateful that she showed you her true colour early enough.

Now, no one can decide for you. Only you can determine your destiny and that of those you may bring into this world. Think of all possible consequences. Take all advices from people into consideration. Then decide for yourself if you are willing to accept that kind of character in your life.

Please when taking things into consideration, think of this: forgiveness is not synonymous with taking someone back, as far as I'm concerned. You can forgive but in good terms accept that you aren't meant to be together.

 

[Red Dawn]

Further, what's with this crazy ass thing called 'looking for some advice'? What the hell? Don't you know everything, don't you have everything all figured out?

Sorry tcsenter, I didn't mean to ruin your opportunity to play Ann Landers.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Yikes, there's too many replies for me to fully read.

Hear's what I think.

Sit back and look at the relationship as a whole. Is it worth fighting for? It kinda sounds like you're already fed up with it anyway, insisting to her being overly dependent on your attention, manipulative, and a liar. Define the extent of cheating in your own mind. Maybe it sounds stupid but, to me, making out and having sex are two completely different realms of cheating. Of course, I'd still be upset over the former, but atleast it can be worked through (IMHO) as opposed to the latter.

You say this guy is a player and gets drunk. Was this a one time thing where he got her drunk and made out with her, or has this been happening for awhile? I'd get the full set of facts from Jane and Mary both.

If/when you do decide to end it, do so tactfully (sp?). Don't stalk/spy on her and try to catch her in the act. That just seems contrived to me. Don't bother trying to keep the peace between her, Jane and Mary. Something tells me that'll all fall apart on it's own. Confront your gf and tell her you've become aware that she's been seeing someone behind your back. When she asks who told you just tell her that's not important, end of story. End it gracefully, but mercilessly if that's your position. You'll still be in good light from her family's point of view (provided they're told the truth), as you've done nothing wrong. I doubt, however, that you'll be spending much time with them ever again as it would be awkward.

My last gf cheated on me as well. I had done nothing wrong and everyone knew it. She wasn't even "unhappy". What happened in the end was all of our mutual friends sided with me and essentially shunned her for her actions, how she dealt with the whole situation, and certain events that followed close after. (Let me just say she dealt with it the worst way she possibly could). Her family, especially her mother, absolutely could not believe what she was doing or why, but sympathised with me. But even after you "save face" with all those people, it doesn't help the crushing feeling of being cheated on. Only time will heal that wound.

 

[Orsorum]

Goober speaks wisely.

I think you know what needs to be done, what's best for you. Again... good luck.

 

[Magicthyse]

Well Lilcam, what can I say. Just this evening I've seen two people I know getting intimate with each other, both of whom have very loving partners. I can't preach but I know what each of their partners would feel if they were ever told of this.

The anonymity of the Internet allows me to say the following:

One argument is to say that you need adventure once in a while. A relationship with a single partner can be a very happy relationship, but it can get boring. The frisson of an 'illicit' relationship is a genuine excitement. I've done it a couple of times and I've regretted it.

Say you have had a long-time relationship with a nice girl. Say you're in a bar, you're shooting the sh*t with a few friends, male and female, and you're introduced to an attractive girl. Say she comes on to you in a big way. You're p*ssed. Do you refuse? In fact, even if you're not p*ssed, would you refuse? The guy in question may be a jerk from your point of view - but he may be a hit with the ladies, especially after a drink or two. It's the same situation. We all do stupid things when we're at a party, drunk, whatever - a thousand stimuli to the dumber sides of our instincts. Or, maybe even in the clear light of day he's dumber than you and not very entertaining company, but maybe he's entertaining in another way.

It's a shame that you know that your GF is cheating on you, but the truth these days is that long-term relationships rarely are totally rock solid. Dare I mention a certain Mr. Clinton? Bwahahahaha...

I would evaluate your relationship for it's own merits. Put aside the cheating for a moment and figure out what you two have.

Good luck.

 

[tcsenter]

Sorry tcsenter, I didn't mean to ruin your opportunity to play Ann Landers.

No need to apologize for something you don't have the ability to do...

Of course he's going to look back in 25 years and all this will seem trivial, because he'll have long worked it out by then. That doesn't mean his dilemma is 'trivial' today, at least not to him. It might be to you, but then this isn't about you...is it?

 

[lawaris]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Further, what's with this crazy ass thing called 'looking for some advice'? What the hell? Don't you know everything, don't you have everything all figured out?

Sorry tcsenter, I didn't mean to ruin your opportunity to play Ann Landers.

Looking at the last few of your posts here ( which I remember ) ... you are proving to be a first class jerk !
If you cannot help .... stay away ....there are other threads where u can crap !

And to think that u r "elite"

You see " red" ... I think the atmosphere here is getting nasty ( in general) and if you look carefully enough ( incld. the locked threads ) you will know what I am talking about.
Please don't add to it ...

We sort of expect more from elite members * hopeful*

 

[lawaris]

Originally posted by: baffled2
You've wasted a year, don't be stupid like me or you'll find yourself sitting there some day wondering where 11 yrs of your life went and kicking yourself for being stupid

baff .... never knew this side of you ... you always seemed to be the happiest one here ....

guess u get your ego boost from us all

 

[Sir Fredrick]

Dude, we don't care about you and your problems. At most it's just an opportunity to gossip and give out bad advice..maybe reading about your pathetic trials and tribulations makes the rest feel better about their lives.

I care. I don't have any advice that hasn't already been offered, but I hope it works out for lilcam.

 

[flexy]

without reading the whole thread...


GOD....there is a serious COMMUNICATION problem here !

Do you think you can solve that without telling her you dont know about her cheating ????

You will never solve anything lying to each other....d*mn sit down with your g/f and TALk !!!!!!

The other alternative is...you both leave each other....relationship over...

my $0.02

 

[JHawk]

Having once been married to a woman like this let me tell you these leopards NEVER change their spots. Do yourself a favor and get the hell out while you can !!

 

[absolutiza]

is she hot? it's all irrelevant if she's not hot...

 

[gwlam12]

that's my greatest fear..and it really sucks.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: tcsenter

Sorry tcsenter, I didn't mean to ruin your opportunity to play Ann Landers.

No need to apologize for something you don't have the ability to do...

Of course he's going to look back in 25 years and all this will seem trivial, because he'll have long worked it out by then. That doesn't mean his dilemma is 'trivial' today, at least not to him. It might be to you, but then this isn't about you...is it?

It's never "trivial" when you're going through it; it's the worst possible feeling you can ever have.

When you're in a "relationship", there's a tacit agreement to not see (euphemism for sexual activity) other people, unless it's expressly understood at the beginning of the relationship. Those of you who have stated that because you're not married then seeing other people is perfectly ok have either never been through this kind of pain, or you have yourselves "cheated" in order to cover up that pain.

 

[BillyBatson]

i know how you feel man, i have been through something quite similiar... Still hurts because i sitll love this person

i hoenstly don't know hwo to handle the situation.. when i found out AFTER she already broke up with me, i sitll blew up and her and i are no longer friends though i wish we were..
if you think you will want her in your life even as just a friend of more, do NOT blow up... and as sad at this next advice is going to sound, trust me it's best.. do NOT show her how hurt you are.. if you do she might leave you and then she will know you still care...
as for confronting her without getting the friend into trouble HEH, in my experience that friend that helps you isn't looking out fo ryou as much as you might be thinking.. but in any case, you could try following her next time? or BETTER yet see if you can get the friend to tell you where she is going on the date then get there before them..
much luck to you bro

 

[Phunktion]

Beat the information out of this guy she's going around with.. if he's just a "friend" you'll know it when you kick his arse easily.. if he puts up a reasonable fight then you know she did something with him..