Dump her and do it instyle in some way that she will NEVER forget. When you said that she only goes out with her 'friend' is when you're busy, tell her you're busy but dont be at a particular time and just follow her around or conduct a little bit of 'research' while shes off being a lying little sht.
Skyclad is right. She does NOT love you. Although if you confront her over this she will probably get all emotional and try to convince you otherwise -- Do not delude yourself.
Also, do not feel sorry for yourself or worry about your emotional pain at this point. That will come later -- right now you need to be strong. Project an air of total calm (like nothing affects you) and then crush her like the worthless insect that she is. No mercy.
Also, do not feel sorry for yourself or worry about your emotional pain at this point. That will come later -- right now you need to be strong. Project an air of total calm (like nothing affects you) and then crush her like the worthless insect that she is. No mercy.
here, i thought of a way to get her to confess, just for you:
write down on a piece of paper the following: i'm lying, but now i know you aren't.
then go up to her and say: i wanna break up with you. i'm unhappy and i've been cheating on you.
then she'll be all mad and tell you she's been cheating on you too.
now hold up the paper that you just wrote.
ok don't really do that. cheaters are the scum of the earth though!
write down on a piece of paper the following: i'm lying, but now i know you aren't.
then go up to her and say: i wanna break up with you. i'm unhappy and i've been cheating on you.
then she'll be all mad and tell you she's been cheating on you too.
now hold up the paper that you just wrote.
ok don't really do that. cheaters are the scum of the earth though!
I agree with EXP. Make it blow in her face. The worst thing you can do at this point is dwell on it.. it'll just push you further into depression. Just do what you're gonna do, leave her for good, and dont look back. You deserve better
Hmmmmmmmmm...never thought about this! Maybe I'll do this tomorrow!!! jane is willing to help me spy on her. i appreciate everything jane is doig and for me to reveal jane as my source wouldnt be right.
Shes been known for lying in the past. she tries to make me feel guilty, and of course i end up losing just to please her. i cant do that anymore!
very interesting thought!!! i just thought of something. dump her by saying ive been cheating on her for the past few months. she'll cry her eyes out and then write her a letter saying i knew all along what was going on!
EXACTLY!!! and why is it girls look for the gangster type! what the heck is it that they like about them?!?!??!?!!? my gf tells me she wants someone whos going to have a good job and she dreams of a nice car and a big house. well, im working towards that, but she isnt getting that with the moron shes seeing! i dont understand girls at all!
they see someone with nice clothes and a suped up car. very sad...
Interesting maybe, but not smart to do due to the first point. If she has lied before and tried to make you feel guilty, why do you presume she will confess to cheating if you claim to have done so? Chances are good that she just doesn't feel guilty about doing it anymore, and will try to make you feel terrible for cheating on her by claiming she stayed true all the time.
DOnt do what rubix suggested, atleast he too said not to. Reason being is i could easily see her not confessing up to the supposed-fact that she is cheating on you. And after you say you were cheating on her it would be pretty hard to explain that you were lying and that you know she was cheating on you instead and it would probably just turn into a big mess if it doesnt go right 
edit...damnit skyclad
edit...damnit skyclad
Only because I think that she will do anything to stay with me. Like i said, there's gotta be something about me that shes not telling me. Something that's been keeping her distance from me and when/if i finally reveal what i know, she will confess. i am sure of this!
whether i forgive her or not remains to be seen. from the looks of things, i dont think it's really going to happen (the forgiving part)
whether i forgive her or not remains to be seen. from the looks of things, i dont think it's really going to happen (the forgiving part)
Hey get her on that one show "Cheaters"
That would be awesome, catch her in the act while being on TV!!!
Now that would be trippy!
That would be awesome, catch her in the act while being on TV!!!
Now that would be trippy!
as long as you're sure she cheated, dump her. no need to do it any some melodramatic fashion... i mean we're all mature individuals here right? she screwed up, that's fine, no need to lower yourself.
Kadarin
Lifer
- Nov 23, 2001
- 44,296
- 16
- 81
Dude.. I know what you're going through, and it's the worst feeling ever. Some things I've noticed:
If this is true, then I agree with Skyclad1uhm1's opinion that she's got you on the leash as a security blanket for her future, while she goes off and has fun with a local "bad boy". Also:
She's not taking the long view; having you with her 24/7 appears to be more important that the two of you building a future together. That's not a sign of a mature relationship, but instead it's the hallmark of codepenency. If you want that kind of relationship, you're better off with a dog (cheaper, but no sex (at least, I hope not)). Have you talked with her in the past about your future together? Why is she saying she wants to move in with you?
My advice from what I know of the situations so far: You can do better than her.
If this is true, then I agree with Skyclad1uhm1's opinion that she's got you on the leash as a security blanket for her future, while she goes off and has fun with a local "bad boy". Also:
She's not taking the long view; having you with her 24/7 appears to be more important that the two of you building a future together. That's not a sign of a mature relationship, but instead it's the hallmark of codepenency. If you want that kind of relationship, you're better off with a dog (cheaper, but no sex (at least, I hope not)). Have you talked with her in the past about your future together? Why is she saying she wants to move in with you?
My advice from what I know of the situations so far: You can do better than her.
Don't think like this...it's the kind of downward spiral of negativity we have been warning you against. Concentrate on your plan of action.
Originally posted by: SHoddyCOmp
DOnt do what rubix suggested, atleast he too said not to. Reason being is i could easily see her not confessing up to the supposed-fact that she is cheating on you. And after you say you were cheating on her it would be pretty hard to explain that you were lying and that you know she was cheating on you instead and it would probably just turn into a big mess if it doesnt go right
edit...damnit skyclad
You're slow
Why are you taking this so hard? If she doesn't give a damn about you, then give her the finger and leave her. And i mean this literally. Next time you see her, give her the finger, turn around, and walk away. You don't need any excuses or proof. You don't ever have to talk to her again.
Maybe cause he doesn't yet have hard proof?
Edit: And maybe cause he still has feelings for her?
You're slow
By a minute, but thats the time it takes to reply. And my net is horridly slow so
Edit: Its late = Spelling sucks
Take my advice with a grain of salt, as it is only my advice.
I am sorry that you're having to go through what you are. It is never fun finding out that you may have been cheated on; and it's not fun, the thoughts that go through your head. Whereas one second you trusted this person completely, the next, you're questioning every action they make. Nothing makes sense, and everything seems like a confirmation of your worst fears.
My advice?
First, take a deep breath. Go somewhere, go to the gym, go get high (you'll never, ever, hear me make that suggestion under any other circumstances), go read, go pray (worked best for me). Do something to take, however momentarily, your mind off the situation. The more you sit and fester, the worse you will feel.
Second... give yourself a few days. Tell her that you need a day or two by yourself, alone, to focus (on school or something). The more contact you have with her, the worse you will feel. Better yet... take a break from her friends, too. This may seem counterintuitive... but you don't know exactly how trustworthy her friends are. Right now, you aren't thinking too clearly. You're blindly reaching out for someone to trust, for someone to tell you what you want to hear. Unfortunately, this is an opportunity for some real a$$holes to take advantage of your emotions and confusion.
Third... that step is for you to decide. It sounds to me as if you've already made the decision to break up with her. It also sounds like this relationship is hard on you as it is, without the burden of knowing the truth about this situation. If I were you... I would seriously rethink the relationship in totality and ask yourself if it's worth it. Now that you're suspicious, and apparently with some good cause... it will be extremely hard for you to regain your sense of trust; and, for her to regain your trust without knowing everything about the situation.
My biggest amount of advice... take the high road. If she is cheating on you, she doesn't deserve the time of day. May hell fall upon her with all its legions. However, you have no proof. Until then, you have no right or justification in treating her with any disrespect or malice. While it may make sense, now, that she is cheating; you don't know that for sure. If you decide to break off the relationship, do it in a way that leaves you both, and the relationship, some dignity. While you may be angry at her, don't burn any bridges, especially with her family.
Again, it is a tough decision to make. I wish you good luck and godspeed. Let us know what happens.
I am sorry that you're having to go through what you are. It is never fun finding out that you may have been cheated on; and it's not fun, the thoughts that go through your head. Whereas one second you trusted this person completely, the next, you're questioning every action they make. Nothing makes sense, and everything seems like a confirmation of your worst fears.
My advice?
First, take a deep breath. Go somewhere, go to the gym, go get high (you'll never, ever, hear me make that suggestion under any other circumstances), go read, go pray (worked best for me). Do something to take, however momentarily, your mind off the situation. The more you sit and fester, the worse you will feel.
Second... give yourself a few days. Tell her that you need a day or two by yourself, alone, to focus (on school or something). The more contact you have with her, the worse you will feel. Better yet... take a break from her friends, too. This may seem counterintuitive... but you don't know exactly how trustworthy her friends are. Right now, you aren't thinking too clearly. You're blindly reaching out for someone to trust, for someone to tell you what you want to hear. Unfortunately, this is an opportunity for some real a$$holes to take advantage of your emotions and confusion.
Third... that step is for you to decide. It sounds to me as if you've already made the decision to break up with her. It also sounds like this relationship is hard on you as it is, without the burden of knowing the truth about this situation. If I were you... I would seriously rethink the relationship in totality and ask yourself if it's worth it. Now that you're suspicious, and apparently with some good cause... it will be extremely hard for you to regain your sense of trust; and, for her to regain your trust without knowing everything about the situation.
My biggest amount of advice... take the high road. If she is cheating on you, she doesn't deserve the time of day. May hell fall upon her with all its legions. However, you have no proof. Until then, you have no right or justification in treating her with any disrespect or malice. While it may make sense, now, that she is cheating; you don't know that for sure. If you decide to break off the relationship, do it in a way that leaves you both, and the relationship, some dignity. While you may be angry at her, don't burn any bridges, especially with her family.
Again, it is a tough decision to make. I wish you good luck and godspeed. Let us know what happens.
Wondered that too, that's why he needs hard proof, or at least confirmation from several friends. If all her alibies turn out blank then you can be pretty sure something is going on.
putting it on cheaters would be nice. how about we get everyone from AT to watch!!! look ma, im on tv!!!!!!!!
anyways, now that i think about it, i owe her nothing. no explanation or anything. im taking this hard because
this is the second time that this has happened to me. the other girl just ignored me and i found out she was seeing
some dude who was in jail!!!! i didnt take that as hard only because we were going out for like 3 months. ive been with my
gf since last year, but we dated in HS (1997) and got back together last july. we've talked between 97-2001 when she and i were
both seeing other ppl.
anyways, now that i think about it, i owe her nothing. no explanation or anything. im taking this hard because
this is the second time that this has happened to me. the other girl just ignored me and i found out she was seeing
some dude who was in jail!!!! i didnt take that as hard only because we were going out for like 3 months. ive been with my
gf since last year, but we dated in HS (1997) and got back together last july. we've talked between 97-2001 when she and i were
both seeing other ppl.
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