I'll start it off for us...
Why do some golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they got a hole in one!
Why do some golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they got a hole in one!
Jokes,post em if you got em
- Thread starter Geekbabe
- Start date
Did you hear about the two antennae that met on a roof and decided to get married?
The ceremony wasn't great, but I hear the reception was wonderful.
The ceremony wasn't great, but I hear the reception was wonderful.
She was sooooo blond....
...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
...she thought a quarterback was a refund.
...she tried to put M's in alphabetical order.
...she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.
...she thought General Motors was in the army.
...she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
...she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
...under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On
Phonics."
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she tripped over a cordless phone.
...she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate."
...she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and DON'T WALK."
...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she
put "Sagittarius."
...she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she studied for a blood test.
...she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."
...she sold the car for gas money!
...when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice
instead.
...when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport
Left," she turned around and went home.
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
...she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
...if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
...she thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
...she had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front
...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
...she thought a quarterback was a refund.
...she tried to put M's in alphabetical order.
...she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.
...she thought General Motors was in the army.
...she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
...she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
...under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On
Phonics."
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she tripped over a cordless phone.
...she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate."
...she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and DON'T WALK."
...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she
put "Sagittarius."
...she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she studied for a blood test.
...she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."
...she sold the car for gas money!
...when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice
instead.
...when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport
Left," she turned around and went home.
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
...she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
...if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
...she thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
...she had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front
Originally posted by: KK
Q. What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.
KK
lol !
DrPizza
Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
I just heard this one... not sure if it was on ATOT or not..
What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?
It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid last night.
What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?
It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid last night.
I heard this joke years ago
*****
Did you hear that Oprah Winfrey got a arrested at the airport on charges of drug smuggling?
They looked up her skirt and found 200lbs of crack
*****
Did you hear that Oprah Winfrey got a arrested at the airport on charges of drug smuggling?
They looked up her skirt and found 200lbs of crack
KeithP
Diamond Member
- Jun 15, 2000
- 5,664
- 202
- 106
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
-Keith
-Keith
M0oG0oGaiPan
Diamond Member
What does mozart do now that he's dead?
He decomposes
What time was the chinese man's dentist appointment for?
Tooth-hurty
Who's the president of mexico?
Manuel Labor
What do you call cheese that doesnt belong to you?
Nacho cheese
Why cant u play cards in the jungle?
There's too many cheetahs
How do monkeys communicate?
EEE-EEE-EEE Mail
What do u do if u see a spaceman?
Park you car in it man
Why did the blonde have sex with a mexican dude?
Because the teacher told her to do an essay
He decomposes
What time was the chinese man's dentist appointment for?
Tooth-hurty
Who's the president of mexico?
Manuel Labor
What do you call cheese that doesnt belong to you?
Nacho cheese
Why cant u play cards in the jungle?
There's too many cheetahs
How do monkeys communicate?
EEE-EEE-EEE Mail
What do u do if u see a spaceman?
Park you car in it man
Why did the blonde have sex with a mexican dude?
Because the teacher told her to do an essay
Why do women wear white to their weddings?
So they match the other household appliances.
What do you do when your wife's favorite watch breaks?
Nothing, the clock on the stove tells perfect time.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, his wife should have it open by the time she brings it to him.
More risque ones not mentioned
So they match the other household appliances.
What do you do when your wife's favorite watch breaks?
Nothing, the clock on the stove tells perfect time.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, his wife should have it open by the time she brings it to him.
More risque ones not mentioned
KLin
Lifer
- Feb 29, 2000
- 30,430
- 747
- 126
A man went to his priest one day for confession
Man: Father, forgive me for I have sinned.
Priest: What is your sin my son?
Man: I said the F word
Priest: You'd better tell me about it.
Man: Well, I was playing the hardest hole at the course I play at.
A par three, 210 yards with a pond to the right. I hit my
3 wood and it was headed straight for the flag, but then the
wind caught it and pushed it toward the pond.
Priest: And you said the F word.
Man: No, as it went into the pond, this turtle surfaced and the
ball bounced off his shell toward the green, but then it
hit this tree and headed back toward the pond.
Priest: And that's when you said the F word.
Man: No, not quite. Instead of going into the pond, it bounced off
a rock and rolled up on the green and ended up only 3 feet from
the pin.
Priest: Don't tell me you missed that fvcking putt.
Man: Father, forgive me for I have sinned.
Priest: What is your sin my son?
Man: I said the F word
Priest: You'd better tell me about it.
Man: Well, I was playing the hardest hole at the course I play at.
A par three, 210 yards with a pond to the right. I hit my
3 wood and it was headed straight for the flag, but then the
wind caught it and pushed it toward the pond.
Priest: And you said the F word.
Man: No, as it went into the pond, this turtle surfaced and the
ball bounced off his shell toward the green, but then it
hit this tree and headed back toward the pond.
Priest: And that's when you said the F word.
Man: No, not quite. Instead of going into the pond, it bounced off
a rock and rolled up on the green and ended up only 3 feet from
the pin.
Priest: Don't tell me you missed that fvcking putt.
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