I think he means you go through keyboards often. Probably not because you spit pepsi all over them though..... :Q
Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
Originally posted by: ThisIsMatt
So do youOriginally posted by: ffmcobalt
Originally posted by: Beau6183
OMG HAHAHAHAA
If I was Baff, there'd be whatever I'm drinking all over my keyboard now. Nice one Ulf!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!She must go through keyboards a lot.
edro13, racist jokes are not allowed at AT at all.
nik
nik
my setiments exactly.
Two twin brother, virgin midgets decide to get two hookers for their 21st birthday. So the two grab two hookers, rent a hotel room, turn off the lights and proceed to partake in the festivities.
The first midget gets so nervous that he can't get it up. After two hours of coaxing and stroking and praying, he throws the sheets over himself and gives up. To makes things worse for the poor little fella, was that he had to listen to his brother say, ''One, two, three. Ugh! One, two, three. Ugh!'' all night long.
In the morning, the second midget greets his brother and asks him how his night went?
The first brother replies, ''Man, it was terrible. I couldn't even get it up.'' The second brother replies, ''You couldn't get it up? I couldn't even get on the bed."
The first midget gets so nervous that he can't get it up. After two hours of coaxing and stroking and praying, he throws the sheets over himself and gives up. To makes things worse for the poor little fella, was that he had to listen to his brother say, ''One, two, three. Ugh! One, two, three. Ugh!'' all night long.
In the morning, the second midget greets his brother and asks him how his night went?
The first brother replies, ''Man, it was terrible. I couldn't even get it up.'' The second brother replies, ''You couldn't get it up? I couldn't even get on the bed."
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he'd be home-free.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc...
The cabbie said, ''If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!''
So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.
The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.
The businessman got in the first cab in the line, ''How much for a ride to the airport,'' he asked?
''Fifteen bucks,'' came the reply.
''And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?''
''What?! Get the hell out of my cab.''
The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.
When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, ''How much for a ride to the airport?''
The cabbie replied, ''Fifteen bucks.''
The businessman said, ''OK,'' and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc...
The cabbie said, ''If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!''
So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.
The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.
The businessman got in the first cab in the line, ''How much for a ride to the airport,'' he asked?
''Fifteen bucks,'' came the reply.
''And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?''
''What?! Get the hell out of my cab.''
The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.
When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, ''How much for a ride to the airport?''
The cabbie replied, ''Fifteen bucks.''
The businessman said, ''OK,'' and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers.
No, I actually don't. I don't spit anything on my keyboard. I have no idea what he's talking about
nik
Two bulls, one old and one young, are standing on a hill over looking a pasture full of cows.
The young bull looks over at the older bull and says, "Let's run down there and fvck one of those cows!"
The old bull smiles and says, "Let's walk down there and fvck all of those cows."
The young bull looks over at the older bull and says, "Let's run down there and fvck one of those cows!"
The old bull smiles and says, "Let's walk down there and fvck all of those cows."
Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
No, I actually don't. I don't spit anything on my keyboard. I have no idea what he's talking about
nik
baffled always spits her pepsi all over her keyboard when someone makes her laugh. But I think you understand that part already. The joke was, that you go through a lot of keyboards for, er, other reasons..... other substances that might have been "spit" upon the keyboard. Need I be more specific?
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.
Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" They ask.
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart.
Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.
Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" They ask.
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart.
bwahaha. Sorry Dave. I've got an extra keyboard... you wanna drive down to Hyde Park and pick it up?
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended upwith the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"
The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the sh!t out of a ghost."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GOD said, "Go down into that valley."
And Adam said, "What's a valley?"
And God explained it to him.
Then God said, "Cross the river"
And Adam said "What's a river?"
And God explained it to him.
He then said, "Go over the hill."
And Adam said, "What's a hill?"
And God explained it to him.
Then he told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."
And Adam said, "What's a cave?"
And God explained that to him and said,
"In the cave you will find woman."
And Adam said, "What's a woman?"
So God explained that to him, And said
"I want you to reproduce."
And Adam said, "How do I do that?"
So God explained it to him. Adam then went down into the valley, across the river, over
the hill, into the cave, and he found the woman. In about five minutes he was back. God
said angrily, "What is it now?"
And Adam said, "What's a headache?"
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended upwith the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"
The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the sh!t out of a ghost."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GOD said, "Go down into that valley."
And Adam said, "What's a valley?"
And God explained it to him.
Then God said, "Cross the river"
And Adam said "What's a river?"
And God explained it to him.
He then said, "Go over the hill."
And Adam said, "What's a hill?"
And God explained it to him.
Then he told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."
And Adam said, "What's a cave?"
And God explained that to him and said,
"In the cave you will find woman."
And Adam said, "What's a woman?"
So God explained that to him, And said
"I want you to reproduce."
And Adam said, "How do I do that?"
So God explained it to him. Adam then went down into the valley, across the river, over
the hill, into the cave, and he found the woman. In about five minutes he was back. God
said angrily, "What is it now?"
And Adam said, "What's a headache?"
Evadman
Administrator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
- Feb 18, 2001
- 30,990
- 5
- 81
Originally posted by: bizmark
bwahaha. Sorry Dave. I've got an extra keyboard... you wanna drive down to Hyde Park and pick it up?
Downtown? Cool! You are the 4th AT'er I know in the Chicagoland area! I smell LANPARTY! That would be an awesome Housewarming party when I finaly get my crap together and buy a house!
Originally posted by: Evadman
Originally posted by: bizmark
bwahaha. Sorry Dave. I've got an extra keyboard... you wanna drive down to Hyde Park and pick it up?
Downtown? Cool! You are the 4th AT'er I know in the Chicagoland area! I smell LANPARTY! That would be an awesome Housewarming party when I finaly get my crap together and buy a house!
1) HP ~= downtown !!! HP = SouthSide !!! I'm about 6-7 miles south of the Loop.
2) Problem is.... my rig isn't really good enough for a full-fledged LAN party
it'd be cool to get together sometime though
I missed the last Chicago meet (June?) unfortunately.But they just opened up a brand-spanking-new bowling alley in Hyde Park. Wanna come down for a few games sometime? Hang out with the nerdy U of C kids?
I suck in bowling (esp. compared to you) but still it'd be cool.
Evadman
Administrator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
- Feb 18, 2001
- 30,990
- 5
- 81
Originally posted by: bizmark
Originally posted by: Evadman
Originally posted by: bizmark
bwahaha. Sorry Dave. I've got an extra keyboard... you wanna drive down to Hyde Park and pick it up?
Downtown? Cool! You are the 4th AT'er I know in the Chicagoland area! I smell LANPARTY! That would be an awesome Housewarming party when I finaly get my crap together and buy a house!
1) HP ~= downtown !!! HP = SouthSide !!! I'm about 6-7 miles south of the Loop.
2) Problem is.... my rig isn't really good enough for a full-fledged LAN party
it'd be cool to get together sometime though
But they just opened up a brand-spanking-new bowling alley in Hyde Park. Wanna come down for a few games sometime? Hang out with the nerdy U of C kids?
Well, still downtown to me
I live out by Elgin in Bartlett. ( a suburb guy! Ahhh! I can see your opinion of me falling already ) I As for the bowling, I have not bowled in a league since ISU, but I think my game is still alright. I am up for some games, sure! Just LMK. Gimme a few days notice too so I make sure I don't have an interview ( or hopefully a fricking job! ) I got a buddy who is going to U of C, but I have not talked to him for about a year. He used to bowl with me back in our YABA days. Now I have to find his number and call him up <edit>
BTW: This thread has been hijacked
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
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