Is this considered cheating?

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Cook1

Diamond Member
Jul 11, 2004
6,315
0
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Ok guys, help me out here.

A co-worker came up to me today and told me all this crap about her personal life about what's going on...actually made the time pass more quickly. Anyways, her husband of 10 years of marriage has been for the past year and a half has been calling phone sex lines. She wanted my opinion on it because the friend's she has talked to about it are kinda split down the middle. Some say it's not cheating because there was no physical sex involved, others are saying that it is because of the action itself. Me being 22 talking to a 45 year old lady about this I kinda told her I'd think on it. Oh and she was nice enough to tell me that they haven't been intimate in the past year...yeah, I had an interesting afternoon...

So now I'm curious what others think!
 
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KarenMarie

Elite Member
Sep 20, 2003
14,372
6
81
lusting in one's heart is cheating by my defination. If I had a guy who I knew had deep lust for another woman, he might as well as hit it... cause he is aleady guilty in his heart and that is enough for me.

:)
 
Kadarin

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
I would consider that cheating. It appears the intent is for him to somehow satisfy sexual need outside of marriage, without his wife's consent/approval. I also get the impression that she's interested in cheating on him with you (or otherwise feels the need to confide in you for some other reason?). Perhaps she's letting you know in an indirect manner that she herself is rather lonely..
 
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MercenaryForHire

Lifer
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
You mean people actually call those? This guy must really be a spineless, pathetic, sack of sh!t.

And I don't think it's cheating any more than watching porn is. Which isn't.

- M4H
 
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OulOat

Diamond Member
Aug 8, 2002
5,769
0
0
Tough call, by KarenMarie's definition lusting over a movie star would be cheating.
 
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imported_LoKe

Lifer
Jun 4, 2005
19,723
1
0
He hasn't entirely devoted himself to one person, and I doubt he let her know of this voluntarily, it's cheating.
 
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cjgallen

Diamond Member
Jan 20, 2003
6,419
0
0
I don't think it's cheating, but it's probably a good indicator that something is wrong in the marriage.
 
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Cook1

Diamond Member
Jul 11, 2004
6,315
0
86
Yeah she needed another opinion she told me because she doesn't know what to do or anything along those lines. Me having next to zilch on this kind of experience couldn't offer her much for advice. Just basically told her that I would think on it, but it was deffinetly wrong.

Oh and she found out because he was out on a fishing trip for a week and the cell phone bill came two days early. So she caught him in the act, and when she called him to ask him about it, he was yelling at her.
 
geno

geno

Lifer
Dec 26, 1999
25,074
4
0
Originally posted by: cjgallen
I don't think it's cheating, but it's probably a good indicator that something is wrong in the marriage.
Click to expand...

Or his/her sexual ability :p
 
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KarenMarie

Elite Member
Sep 20, 2003
14,372
6
81
Originally posted by: OulOat
Tough call, by KarenMarie's definition lusting over a movie star would be cheating.
Click to expand...

No.. there is a difference between fantasizing and lusting after. But if he were lusting after a movie star to the point where it affected our relationship... he would be gone for a lot of additional reasons.

;)
 
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HN

Diamond Member
Jan 19, 2001
8,186
4
0
what if he's thinking about HER when he's on the phone with the others? his heart still lusts for her or something.

someone start a thread where would you rather:
1. have your significant other has an affair but thinking of you during the act
or
2. have your significant other think of someone else while doing you.
 
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Mojoed

Diamond Member
Jul 20, 2004
4,473
1
81
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
lusting in one's heart is cheating by my defination. If I had a guy who I knew had deep lust for another woman, he might as well as hit it... cause he is aleady guilty in his heart and that is enough for me.

:)
Click to expand...

I agree with you. Similar situations have come up with my friends and they all disagree with me. Since we're all guys, I get razzed about this quite a bit. They think I'm breaking some kind of male code or something. Lusting in one's heart is absolutely cheating as far as I'm concerned.
 
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Cook1

Diamond Member
Jul 11, 2004
6,315
0
86
Originally posted by: HN
what if he's thinking about HER when he's on the phone with the others? his heart still lusts for her or something.

someone start a thread where would you rather:
1. have your significant other having an affair but thinking of you during the act
or
2. have your significant other think of someone else while doing you.
Click to expand...

But it has to be a poll...
 
Mrvile

Mrvile

Lifer
Oct 16, 2004
14,066
1
0
PICS??! I need to know if I'd hit it...:p

Anyway it's a lot like looking at pr0n when you're married. There was a thread about it a few weeks ago here in ATOT, but seriously, if you're married and you still need to look at pr0n or phone sex, you've pretty much lost it.
 
vshah

vshah

Lifer
Sep 20, 2003
19,003
24
81
He gets his jollies from someone other than her. i'd call it cheating .

-Vivan
 
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HN

Diamond Member
Jan 19, 2001
8,186
4
0
Originally posted by: Cook1
Originally posted by: HN
what if he's thinking about HER when he's on the phone with the others? his heart still lusts for her or something.

someone start a thread where would you rather:
1. have your significant other having an affair but thinking of you during the act
or
2. have your significant other think of someone else while doing you.
Click to expand...

But it has to be a poll...
Click to expand...

absolutely. but since i don't show uber1337platinumblingedout member under my name, i'd probably get -1 vote :confused: :D
 
JulesMaximus

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,578
982
126
I wouldn't say it's cheating but it is incredibly stupid.

Why anyone calls those numbers is beyond me...
 
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KarenMarie

Elite Member
Sep 20, 2003
14,372
6
81
Originally posted by: HN
what if he's thinking about HER when he's on the phone with the others? his heart still lusts for her or something.

someone start a thread where would you rather:
1. have your significant other having an affair but thinking of you during the act
or
2. have your significant other think of someone else while doing you.
Click to expand...

why is there a choice?

Why would he have to think about his wife while calling sex lines? She is right there, no?
And why is it a choice of a or b... why not just be with the one you want... or not being with them and being somewhere else? Why should there even be an option to be with one and want another?
 
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QuitBanningMe

Banned
Mar 2, 2005
5,038
2
0
Not cheating.
Why no sex for a year?
If I went on a fishing trip and hadn't had sex for a year I would order up some "escorts" not call phone sex numbers.
 
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