moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
Originally posted by: AStar617
Armatron, I feel what you're saying and I'm not so quick to brand a big red "R" on you... but here's my question:
What would have happened if you heard she had dated a well-educated, well-groomed, well- traveled, and well-employed black man, and not the stereotypical MTV portrayal of one? Speaking honestly, would this have changed your opinion? If so, then you need to be careful with the phrasing of your questions because it does make you come across as prejudicial in your thought process (not that we all aren't to some degree, but you know how things work in this PC world). If not, then of course there is some glaring prejudice which you are entitled to but you will most definitely catch bullshit for, particularly on a public forum.
Thats my $0.02, from the well-educated, well-groomed, well- traveled, and well-employed black man's perspective
honestly? I wish it would have, but it's not about the type of person. It's not even like I thought about it, and decided I didn't like her. The attraction just left.
It wasn't about me judging who she dated. It was almost as though I looked her as a black female.. which simply I am not attracted to. It's not a racist thing, it's not different than if I wasn't attracted to girls with blonde hair..
neither of you really have ever liked me. that's fine. I'm not racist, I don't judge people based on skin color/looks, and I can't help my natural feelings about this girl. Sorry for trying to figure out to possibly get over whatever barrier I have with it and the situation.
If anyone is building racial barriers, it's people based like you. People who make people with problems want to not even mention them.
meltdown75
Lifer
- Nov 17, 2004
- 37,548
- 7
- 81
Koing
Elite Member <br> Super Moderator<br> Health and F
- Oct 11, 2000
- 16,843
- 2
- 0
Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
Originally posted by: Koing
It is because black guys have a stereotype of having a big penis and some guys are turned off by it. They are insecure and do not want to be with a girl who has been with a black guy. Yes black guys can have a small penis and white guys can be hung like a horse.
Yes it is his opinion BUT you could have you opinion that you hate all black/english guys etc. Separating something by 'colour' is being racist. If you separate by 'personality' or individual merits that is different AS people of ALL colour can be in that group and be separated on something else other then 'skin colour'. A person CAN NOT CHOOSE their own skin killer (Jacko tried to and look how he turned out
It's like saying we can't hire you because your WHITE. We don't care about your skills/ personality just we'll COMPLETELY DISMISS you because YOUR xxx skin colour. It isn't racist it is just an opinion
BUT if you just said you didn't like girls who had been guys with a 9" penis then you would not be racist.
I had this group of European/ Polish or something groupo and these kids were making stupid chinese noisys. Do we really need it in the 21st century? I was going out with my Polish mate and this group of tourists do a thing like that I was thinking wtf? Man if I had him in a ring 1v1 I'd have beat the hell out of him but street fighting against a big group is not good and the police don't like it...those people were fvcking morons.
Koing
:roll:
he didn't say he hated all black people.
what he said was he wouldn't DATE a girl that had been with a white person.
shoot, i have never in my life dated anyone not asian. does that make me racist? NO, it just means that when i date i'm looking for a future mate and i think it best for me to stay with someone who has a lot of the same cultural values and background as myself.
I know he said he didn't hate black people.
I still think not dating a girl because her ex was xxx skin colour is f0cked. Sure if he was a drug dealer that would be different.
Only dating people of a race is different to dismissing a girl because she was with xxx skin colour. Some people would say this would be a little racist. But cultural/ background differences do come in to it etc and it is often easier if the backgrounds are the same.
If you had to date a non asian girl would you?
Koing
Too be honest. He has some 'racist tendencies'. However, that doesn't mean he's a full blown racist. It's quite possible to have racist tendencies without it developing into racism. He's already told us that he doesn't go around thinking that black people, for a lack of a better word 'suck'. So without over-analyzing his behavior. I'd just say he has 'racist tendencies' that are unlikely to develop into full bown racism unless he begins to actively 'dislike' or even 'hate' black people.
Originally posted by: Koing
Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
Originally posted by: Koing
It is because black guys have a stereotype of having a big penis and some guys are turned off by it. They are insecure and do not want to be with a girl who has been with a black guy. Yes black guys can have a small penis and white guys can be hung like a horse.
Yes it is his opinion BUT you could have you opinion that you hate all black/english guys etc. Separating something by 'colour' is being racist. If you separate by 'personality' or individual merits that is different AS people of ALL colour can be in that group and be separated on something else other then 'skin colour'. A person CAN NOT CHOOSE their own skin killer (Jacko tried to and look how he turned out
It's like saying we can't hire you because your WHITE. We don't care about your skills/ personality just we'll COMPLETELY DISMISS you because YOUR xxx skin colour. It isn't racist it is just an opinion
BUT if you just said you didn't like girls who had been guys with a 9" penis then you would not be racist.
I had this group of European/ Polish or something groupo and these kids were making stupid chinese noisys. Do we really need it in the 21st century? I was going out with my Polish mate and this group of tourists do a thing like that I was thinking wtf? Man if I had him in a ring 1v1 I'd have beat the hell out of him but street fighting against a big group is not good and the police don't like it...those people were fvcking morons.
Koing
:roll:
he didn't say he hated all black people.
what he said was he wouldn't DATE a girl that had been with a white person.
shoot, i have never in my life dated anyone not asian. does that make me racist? NO, it just means that when i date i'm looking for a future mate and i think it best for me to stay with someone who has a lot of the same cultural values and background as myself.
I know he said he didn't hate black people.
I still think not dating a girl because her ex was xxx skin colour is f0cked. Sure if he was a drug dealer that would be different.
Only dating people of a race is different to dismissing a girl because she was with xxx skin colour. Some people would say this would be a little racist. But cultural/ background differences do come in to it etc and it is often easier if the backgrounds are the same.
If you had to date a non asian girl would you?
Koing
as i'm married with 3 kids, the answer is no.
i was given many opportunities in college to date white women, i always turned them down. i have always had many female friends of all races, but to me dating = courtship. i wasn't one to date just for fun.
Originally posted by: armatron
Originally posted by: AStar617
Armatron, I feel what you're saying and I'm not so quick to brand a big red "R" on you... but here's my question:
What would have happened if you heard she had dated a well-educated, well-groomed, well- traveled, and well-employed black man, and not the stereotypical MTV portrayal of one? Speaking honestly, would this have changed your opinion? If so, then you need to be careful with the phrasing of your questions because it does make you come across as prejudicial in your thought process (not that we all aren't to some degree, but you know how things work in this PC world). If not, then of course there is some glaring prejudice which you are entitled to but you will most definitely catch bullshit for, particularly on a public forum.
Thats my $0.02, from the well-educated, well-groomed, well- traveled, and well-employed black man's perspective
honestly? I wish it would have, but it's not about the type of person. It's not even like I thought about it, and decided I didn't like her. The attraction just left.
It wasn't about me judging who she dated. It was almost as though I looked her as a black female.. which simply I am not attracted to. It's not a racist thing, it's not different than if I wasn't attracted to girls with blonde hair..
White American society tends to look down on women that date black men.. While I don't agree with it, it is very common to hear snide remarks when you see a black man walking around with a white women. I can only imagine how many black men were lynched in the deep south who were accused of rape when they had consentual sex with a white women. These issues were more apparent during the Jim Crow era, but to think that we live in a society that is color blind is foolish. Their is stigma attached to interracial couples, like it or not. In my travels through Europe and other countries it seems a lot more acceptable, but in the US it is still something that is looked down upon by many whites. At the same time, I suspect that many black people, especially women, feel the same way when they see a black man dating a white women, so it works both ways.
Originally posted by: Bumrush99
Originally posted by: armatron
Originally posted by: AStar617
Armatron, I feel what you're saying and I'm not so quick to brand a big red "R" on you... but here's my question:
What would have happened if you heard she had dated a well-educated, well-groomed, well- traveled, and well-employed black man, and not the stereotypical MTV portrayal of one? Speaking honestly, would this have changed your opinion? If so, then you need to be careful with the phrasing of your questions because it does make you come across as prejudicial in your thought process (not that we all aren't to some degree, but you know how things work in this PC world). If not, then of course there is some glaring prejudice which you are entitled to but you will most definitely catch bullshit for, particularly on a public forum.
Thats my $0.02, from the well-educated, well-groomed, well- traveled, and well-employed black man's perspective
honestly? I wish it would have, but it's not about the type of person. It's not even like I thought about it, and decided I didn't like her. The attraction just left.
It wasn't about me judging who she dated. It was almost as though I looked her as a black female.. which simply I am not attracted to. It's not a racist thing, it's not different than if I wasn't attracted to girls with blonde hair..
White American society tends to look down on women that date black men.. While I don't agree with it, it is very common to hear snide remarks when you see a black man walking around with a white women. I can only imagine how many black men were lynched in the deep south who were accused of rape when they had consentual sex with a white women. These issues were more apparent during the Jim Crow era, but to think that we live in a society that is color blind is foolish. Their is stigma attached to interracial couples, like it or not. In my travels through Europe and other countries it seems a lot more acceptable, but in the US it is still something that is looked down upon by many whites. At the same time, I suspect that many black people, especially women, feel the same way when they see a black man dating a white women, so it works both ways.
ain't that the truth. my roommate in grad school was a black guy. he married a chinese girl. man the black girls at the school hated his fiance (at the time, later his wife).
Koing
Elite Member <br> Super Moderator<br> Health and F
- Oct 11, 2000
- 16,843
- 2
- 0
as i'm married with 3 kids, the answer is no.
i was given many opportunities in college to date white women, i always turned them down. i have always had many female friends of all races, but to me dating = courtship. i wasn't one to date just for fun.[/quote]
I see. Fair enough.
I know the hassle of dating girls of other races and how it is just 'easier' to date girls of the same race/ background.
I guess I was too strong with my words...
But this sums it up well imo.
Koing
I see. Fair enough.
I know the hassle of dating girls of other races and how it is just 'easier' to date girls of the same race/ background.
I guess I was too strong with my words...
But this sums it up well imo.
Koing[/quote]
cool. many people have considered me racist because i wouldn't date white women, but if i was such a racist why was i friends with them? marriage to me is a one time deal. it's hard enough to make things work in a marriage, why marry someone you know you have very different values, culture and language with?
PeteRoy
Senior member
MikeyIs4Dcats
Lifer
- Nov 5, 2001
- 18,366
- 3
- 0
purbeast0
No Lifer
- Sep 13, 2001
- 53,477
- 6,317
- 126
wow this thread amazes me by how much ignorance is on this board sometimes. it is just ignorant to not date someone because of them dating a black person before in the past. and its just that, the past. its not like she went out and had an orgy with 10 black guys (not that color matters even in that statement), or went out and murdered a family, she simply dated someone of a different race (pending she isn't even black to begin with).
OMG OH NO!! SHE DATED SOMEONE WHOS BLACK!! QUICK DIAL 911!!
i feel sorry for the people who are so sheltered that something like that would bother them. i am white and have only had 2 serious girlfriends, and one was mixed (half jamaican, half russian) and my current one is nicaraguan. the only thing i have done with white girls is hook up a few times, never even had sex with any white girls (almost did when i was really drunk but passed it up).
again, i feel sorry for the people whom have this problem because it truly is being very ignorant and means you are a racist. this isn't even the same line as liking only certain races (as far as tastes in girls), this goes beyond that.
OMG OH NO!! SHE DATED SOMEONE WHOS BLACK!! QUICK DIAL 911!!
i feel sorry for the people who are so sheltered that something like that would bother them. i am white and have only had 2 serious girlfriends, and one was mixed (half jamaican, half russian) and my current one is nicaraguan. the only thing i have done with white girls is hook up a few times, never even had sex with any white girls (almost did when i was really drunk but passed it up).
again, i feel sorry for the people whom have this problem because it truly is being very ignorant and means you are a racist. this isn't even the same line as liking only certain races (as far as tastes in girls), this goes beyond that.
My personal belief is that though some sideways comments (read: one-liner jokes) might be thrown regarding a situation like that, I doubt most black men would refuse to go out with a black woman who had been with a white man solely because of that fact.Originally posted by: Bumrush99
Originally posted by: armatron
Originally posted by: AStar617
Armatron, I feel what you're saying and I'm not so quick to brand a big red "R" on you... but here's my question:
What would have happened if you heard she had dated a well-educated, well-groomed, well- traveled, and well-employed black man, and not the stereotypical MTV portrayal of one? Speaking honestly, would this have changed your opinion? If so, then you need to be careful with the phrasing of your questions because it does make you come across as prejudicial in your thought process (not that we all aren't to some degree, but you know how things work in this PC world). If not, then of course there is some glaring prejudice which you are entitled to but you will most definitely catch bullshit for, particularly on a public forum.
Thats my $0.02, from the well-educated, well-groomed, well- traveled, and well-employed black man's perspective
honestly? I wish it would have, but it's not about the type of person. It's not even like I thought about it, and decided I didn't like her. The attraction just left.
It wasn't about me judging who she dated. It was almost as though I looked her as a black female.. which simply I am not attracted to. It's not a racist thing, it's not different than if I wasn't attracted to girls with blonde hair..
White American society tends to look down on women that date black men.. While I don't agree with it, it is very common to hear snide remarks when you see a black man walking around with a white women. I can only imagine how many black men were lynched in the deep south who were accused of rape when they had consentual sex with a white women. These issues were more apparent during the Jim Crow era, but to think that we live in a society that is color blind is foolish. Their is stigma attached to interracial couples, like it or not. In my travels through Europe and other countries it seems a lot more acceptable, but in the US it is still something that is looked down upon by many whites. At the same time, I suspect that many black people, especially women, feel the same way when they see a black man dating a white women, so it works both ways.
Again this raises the variable of whether or not the subject in any of these examples had a legitimate shot at the female in the first place. Just like how the age-old addage teaches us the difference between a whore and a bitch--one sleeps with everyone, the other sleeps with everyone but you...
Of course this doesn't appear to be the case with Armatron, at least not as he tells it.so you think that you can force this guy to fall in love with a girl with a certain type of past whether he likes it or not?? this type of intolerance really bothers me.
our conscious decisions are what determines whether or not we are racist. because those are things we control. our subconscious feelings are determined by our upbringing and as such may have racial bias. that doesn't make that person racist as long as they treat all races the same.
you can't force the guy to have romantic feelings for a girl if he doesn't. and no amount of intolerant name calling and yelling will change that.
PingSpike
Lifer
- Feb 25, 2004
- 21,754
- 599
- 126
To play devil's advocate here: (I'm sure I'll be flamed excessively)
When you approach a lion in the jungle, do you:
A) Assume the lion is vicious and can hurt you.
B) Assume its a loose tame lion and would like to be pet.
Both *are* possible. However, there's about a %99.9 chance that the situation is A. Should you give the lion the benefit of the doubt?
Enter stereotypes. They are a dirty word in our society, but they are really a base defense mechanism. When presented with a situation that we do not have sufficient information on, we go back to a set of base assumptions in order to allow us to proceed in a hopefully correct fashion. We make an educated guess. If we put a gum drop polish on every situation we encountered, we'd quickly die.
Now unfortunately this gives rise to racism, because some people do not allow new information to override their assumptions. But thats flawed judgement and of course those people are going to have problems. But as you point out Arkitech, black men are not exactly presented very favorably in the media.
It sucks. But I'd be lying if I said when I was walking around downtown and a couple of large black guys walk by I don't view them with a bit of suspicion. I wish it wasn't that way, but its a gut instinct. (To be fair...I pretty much view any large guy decked out in gansta garb with a bit of suspicion, there are far more white ones than black around here) At the same time, I know a big black guy from college and he's about the nicest guy I've ever met.
Sorry if I offend, it was not my intention.
Hayabusa Rider
Admin Emeritus & Elite Member
- Jan 26, 2000
- 50,879
- 4,267
- 126
It is quite one thing to be racist and proud of it, and another to become aware of feelings and question them. People get into situations they have not before and suddenly find they believe/act differently than they expect. They learn things about themselves and it's not always good. Perhaps it is foolish to post them here, but then again why does it matter if he does?
It isn't about what he feels, but about what he does about it. People can mature or not. If examines his feelings and overcomes them, then he has grown. If he chooses not to, then have at him.
It isn't about what he feels, but about what he does about it. People can mature or not. If examines his feelings and overcomes them, then he has grown. If he chooses not to, then have at him.
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