Originally posted by: PingSpike
Originally posted by: Arkitech
I think the only way we as humans are going to be able to get pasts our differences with people of other races is to confront our issues and concerns. On the one hand I applaud the OP for being honest enough to admit to himself that he has a problem but on the other hand as a black guy I still feel a bit offended. After all black men are still people too, we have feelings and emotions just like everyone else. So to find out that come guys would'nt date a girl because she dated a black man in the past does'nt really help out in the self esteem department.
I could be wrong but I think the way to get past issues like these is to try to bond or really get to know someone from whatever race you might have a problem with. You may find that whatever differences you thought were there are very small. Take myself for example, just to look at me I would automatically be categorized as the big black guy. In the past I've had coworkers and associates kind of shun me because of what kind of person they thought I would be based on appearance, but after getting to know me they learn I'm not what they would expect.
I guess the media is partially at fault, most images of black men are not that favorable. And it does'nt help when rappers sell the image of thugs and pimps. And while its true that some black guys really are some of those things, it does'nt apply to every black guy. My friends and I were never involved in gangs, illegal activities, etc.. In fact we were more interested in the next role playing game to hit the PC rather than trying to look tough on a street corner. But these are things you would never know if you just assume that all people are one particular way.
I know I'm probably rambling in this reply, so I'll end with this last thought. For every person who may have an issue with peopel of another race, whether its black, white, spanish, indian or whatever. Try to get to really know someone from that race because in the end people are people. We all share the same type of feelings and goals, we all are just looking for a little peace and happiness when its all said and done.
To play devil's advocate here: (I'm sure I'll be flamed excessively)
When you approach a lion in the jungle, do you:
A) Assume the lion is vicious and can hurt you.
B) Assume its a loose tame lion and would like to be pet.
Both *are* possible. However, there's about a %99.9 chance that the situation is A. Should you give the lion the benefit of the doubt?
Enter stereotypes. They are a dirty word in our society, but they are really a base defense mechanism. When presented with a situation that we do not have sufficient information on, we go back to a set of base assumptions in order to allow us to proceed in a hopefully correct fashion. We make an educated guess. If we put a gum drop polish on every situation we encountered, we'd quickly die.
Now unfortunately this gives rise to racism, because some people do not allow new information to override their assumptions. But thats flawed judgement and of course those people are going to have problems. But as you point out Arkitech, black men are not exactly presented very favorably in the media.
It sucks. But I'd be lying if I said when I was walking around downtown and a couple of large black guys walk by I don't view them with a bit of suspicion. I wish it wasn't that way, but its a gut instinct. (To be fair...I pretty much view any large guy decked out in gansta garb with a bit of suspicion, there are far more white ones than black around here) At the same time, I know a big black guy from college and he's about the nicest guy I've ever met.
Sorry if I offend, it was not my intention.