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if your current wife/gf was your "backup"?
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MomAndSkoorbaby
Diamond Member
Ditto. Cruel is the key word here.
yellowperil
Diamond Member
Some words are best left for fodder in case the relationship goes south.
Dumbledore
Senior member
it's nothing about being cruel..it's about being honest. i'm totally happy with my current gf. and she was the one that asked..i definitely would not intentionally tell her but the facts bc i know she would be somewhat hurt but she directly asked and i feel it's better to be honest..so i told her yes, that there was someone else who has a piece of my heart(however gay that may sound). And in no way does that take anythign away from our current relationship.
so i firmly believe, HONESTY is the best!
NikPreviousAcct
No Lifer
Agreed. Besides, if you're going to "settle" for someone, then you don't even deserve to be with that person at all. :|
nik
Dumbledore
Senior member
man, ya's are making me out to be a bad person for being honest. in no way would i want to hurt her. i think it would be more hurtful if she found out the truth. the truth that i lied to her. so again..honesty!!!!
MomAndSkoorbaby
Diamond Member
It would be rather late, not to mention hypocritical, to talk about honestly if you are married to her.
MercenaryForHire
Lifer
Heh ... better hope your wife/gf doesn't cruise ATOT ... you'd come home one day to find the whole house cleaned out and a "Fsck You" letter stapled to the printout of this thread. 🙂
- M4H
MercenaryForHire
Lifer
Zing! 😀
I know who's sleeping on the couch tonight! That's right - it's Dumbledore!
- M4H
"Of course! Honesty is the secret to marital bliss
"
Okay, you were being sarcastic, but here's my take: Honesty is not the secret to bliss, but it is what leads to bliss. Dishonesty can be a big obstruction to happiness.
Let me tell you this: If any man hides information from me that would affect the outcome of an event or after I made enquiry about it, I would be sure to teach him hell. It's better to reveal things than wait for the signficant other to learn it from other sources. And I sure do not take too long to probe when I have reasons to be suspicious.
That said, some things are better left alone or unsaid. However, I do not think that that is necessarily applicable to this case. I think a good setting for saying this would be to take a significant other on a special romantic date, maybe on an anniversary, cook, do all of the nice things, treat her like a princess. And then make it known to them but how much you realised that things worked for the best and you have found true love. I can see it bugging her a bit, but bugging her for long? Hell, forget it. If she gets pissed about that, too bad. Maybe she wasn't worth it anyway.
There's an aspect of such message to appreciate, and there's part that may have her thinking. But why not be happy than jealous? Basically, this is something that doesn't matter either way. You can tell or you can choose to say nothing. It should have no adverse effect in the relationship, so long as you treat her right and show immense affection.
Personally, I much more appreciate a man who's honest with me even if I disapprove of his act or it hurts than a man who lies through his teeth and smooth talks me. That's just me, though. Some women don't love to hear the truth.
Okay, you were being sarcastic, but here's my take: Honesty is not the secret to bliss, but it is what leads to bliss. Dishonesty can be a big obstruction to happiness.
Let me tell you this: If any man hides information from me that would affect the outcome of an event or after I made enquiry about it, I would be sure to teach him hell. It's better to reveal things than wait for the signficant other to learn it from other sources. And I sure do not take too long to probe when I have reasons to be suspicious.
That said, some things are better left alone or unsaid. However, I do not think that that is necessarily applicable to this case. I think a good setting for saying this would be to take a significant other on a special romantic date, maybe on an anniversary, cook, do all of the nice things, treat her like a princess. And then make it known to them but how much you realised that things worked for the best and you have found true love. I can see it bugging her a bit, but bugging her for long? Hell, forget it. If she gets pissed about that, too bad. Maybe she wasn't worth it anyway.
There's an aspect of such message to appreciate, and there's part that may have her thinking. But why not be happy than jealous? Basically, this is something that doesn't matter either way. You can tell or you can choose to say nothing. It should have no adverse effect in the relationship, so long as you treat her right and show immense affection.
Personally, I much more appreciate a man who's honest with me even if I disapprove of his act or it hurts than a man who lies through his teeth and smooth talks me. That's just me, though. Some women don't love to hear the truth.
Ladies Man
Platinum Member
And if you can't be with the one you love, honey
Love the one you're with
do do do dooo dodo
Love the one you're with
do do do dooo dodo
LOL, where have I seen that picture before???
Dumbledore
Senior member
Originally posted by: luvly
"Of course! Honesty is the secret to marital bliss"
Okay, you were being sarcastic, but here's my take: Honesty is not the secret to bliss, but it is what leads to bliss. Dishonesty can be a big obstruction to happiness.
Let me tell you this: If any man hides information from me that would affect the outcome of an event or after I made enquiry about it, I would be sure to teach him hell. It's better to reveal things than wait for the signficant other to learn it from other sources. And I sure do not take too long to probe when I have reasons to be suspicious.
That said, some things are better left alone or unsaid. However, I do not think that that is necessarily applicable to this case. I think a good setting for saying this would be to take a significant other on a special romantic date, maybe on an anniversary, cook, do all of the nice things, treat her like a princess. And then make it known to them but how much you realised that things worked for the best and you have found true love. I can see it bugging her a bit, but bugging her for long? Hell, forget it. If she gets pissed about that, too bad. Maybe she wasn't worth it anyway.
There's an aspect of such message to appreciate, and there's part that may have her thinking. But why not be happy than jealous? Basically, this is something that doesn't matter either way. You can tell or you can choose to say nothing. It should have no adverse effect in the relationship, so long as you treat her right and show immense affection.
Personally, I much more appreciate a man who's honest with me even if I disapprove of his act or it hurts than a man who lies through his teeth and smooth talks me. That's just me, though. Some women don't love to hear the truth.
my thoughts exactly! life is too short to be playing the "what if, then this" game. i try to be honest and i expect the honesty to be reciprocated. some of you are saying hope she ends the relationship with you and what not but if she ends the relationship because of a minor shortcoming then apparently the relationship wasn't as strong as i thought.
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