If you accidentally get a girl pregnant

Page 4 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.

K1052

Elite Member
Aug 21, 2003
52,569
46,187
136
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: DivideBYZero
Spray the man-milk and you can bet you'll be paying for it till the git is 18.

Text :p

- M4H

I think you have to buy them one of those before you get to give them the home made variety. ;)
 

Zenmervolt

Elite member
Oct 22, 2000
24,514
44
91
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
That's perfectly fine. It should be the choice of both parents, but since she is carrying the child, and since the father is contesting the abortion, there will be a fine. Problem solved.
Yeah, the fine will do a great job of replacing the child's life. If I kill your mother, would you be OK with me just paying a fine? Same principle. A life destroyed with only a fine as punishment.

ZV
 

Tuktuk

Senior member
Jan 30, 2007
406
0
0
Since this turned into an abortion thread I wanted to ask one thing to pro-choice people.. if we are going to draw the line at when life begins, which you'd have to admit is a gray area that none of us really knows for sure, why not at a clear cut time such as conception? Is it not more logical to say life begins at conception rather than some arbitrary date? Who decides when a "bunch of cells" become life? Aren't we all just a bunch of cells?
 

K1052

Elite Member
Aug 21, 2003
52,569
46,187
136
Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
Man accidentally gets girl pregnant. Man wants abortion. Woman does not. They take it to court. Who wins? Why?
Reverse situation. Man wants the child, woman does not. Take it to court. Who wins?
when men can have babies we'll talk.
So if the woman wants an abortion but the man is willing to raise the child and assume all responsibility it's OK that the woman can abort the child? I suppose that means your previous statement of "Don't wanna be a daddy, don't stick the babymaker where that might happen." doesn't have equal responsibility on the woman's side of "Don't wanna be a mommy, don't let a guy into your babymaker where it might happen".

Now, yes, it's different in cases of rape and such, but if the sex was consentual, why should the woman be allowed to abort the child if the man is willing to take all parental responsibilities?

ZV
Because it's her body and she's carrying it that's why.
Don't wanna carry it, don't have sex. It's not her body either, it's the child's life.

ZV

The Supreme Court currently disagrees with you. So practically speaking the father has no present recourse.
 

theknight571

Platinum Member
Mar 23, 2001
2,896
2
81
Kind of a follow up question / scenario.

- Man leaves and wants nothing to do with woman or baby

- Woman doesn't put man's name on birth certificate, or go after him for support in any way, and hasn't seen nor heard from him at all since the day the test came back positive. (5 + years)

- Woman marries, and new husband wants to officially adopt the child.... does the biological father need to be consulted / notified before the adoption can take place?
 

yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
Originally posted by: Bryophyte
I don't understand why you wouldn't know the answer to this question already. What would lead you to believe that you would have no legal obligation to your child? That makes no sense to me.

Maybe he realized that women can give the child up for adoption and absolve themselves of further legal obligations, and he thought that men might have similar rights.
 

Chryso

Diamond Member
Nov 23, 2004
4,039
13
81
Originally posted by: theknight571
Kind of a follow up question / scenario.

- Man leaves and wants nothing to do with woman or baby

- Woman doesn't put man's name on birth certificate, or go after him for support in any way, and hasn't seen nor heard from him at all since the day the test came back positive. (5 + years)

- Woman marries, and new husband wants to officially adopt the child.... does the biological father need to be consulted / notified before the adoption can take place?

I think she has to spend a certain amount of effort in trying to notify the father before the husband can adopt.
 

Turin39789

Lifer
Nov 21, 2000
12,218
8
81
Originally posted by: Tuktuk
Since this turned into an abortion thread I wanted to ask one thing to pro-choice people.. if we are going to draw the line at when life begins, which you'd have to admit is a gray area that none of us really knows for sure, why not at a clear cut time such as conception? Is it not more logical to say life begins at conception rather than some arbitrary date? Who decides when a "bunch of cells" become life? Aren't we all just a bunch of cells?


Here you go


And now that it has turned into an abortion thread, I'm out of it.
 
Aug 23, 2000
15,509
1
81
Welcome to a world really run by women. When it comes to children, as a man you have no say in anything. If she gets pregnant you have no rights about the child. I find it funny that women want equality and what not, but if they have a kid, screw equality, they will do whatever they can to get $$$ from the man.
It's pretty sad. All the people saying do have sex if you're not prepared to have a kid, look at it from a rational point of view. The woman knows she can get pregnant and thus should not have sex unless she is prepared to have the kid and pay for it her own damn self.
 

hellokeith

Golden Member
Nov 12, 2004
1,664
0
0
I have not researched it, but I have heard of a few rare cases of real accidental pregnancies. A guy was taking a shower and his semen got on a washcloth (let's not go into how :p). A girl took a shower directly after him and used the washcloth to scrub her :cookie:, and the little swimmers took advantage of the situation. At that point, it is completely in the hands of the woman. If she did not ask him to sign the birth certificate, then later on she'd have a difficult time even forcing him to have a DNA test. But if she did ask him to sign the birth certificate, and he refused, she can file a paternity suit, and he's pretty much legally bound for the next 18 years, unless he skates off to another state far away.

Even in that situation, it is pretty tough to argue it was 100% accidental. Unintentional? Absolutely. But getting sperm on something that has a good possibility of getting near a woman's :cookie: is not the smartest thing to do.

The OP should change the topic title, since we've pretty much established that sex is not an accident. And in the very very rare case it was accidental, the man is still at the mercy of the woman as far as child support goes.
 

Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
13,430
13
81
You know, there would be a lot fewer issues like this (dad doesn't want child and woman doesn't abort, or the reverse and she aborts) if people would have the maturity to talk to their partners about how they would handle an unexpected pregnancy BEFORE they start having a sexual relationship. It wouldn't prevent all problems, because sometimes people feel differently when they're actually in the situation instead of it being hypothetical, but you can't make an informed decision about whether your partner is suitable if you don't ask first. If you know your partner's opinion to begin with, you can choose not to have sex with him/her if it is really out of line with yours. You don't want a child and she says she could never abort a pregnancy, don't have sex. You are extremely anti-abortion and she is all for it, don't have sex.

Too few people stop to think about whether the person they're fvcking would be someone they would find acceptible to be a parent to their possible child. That 'ho' you picked up at the bar and slept with might be someone who will be raising your child and influencing their whole lives. Think about that before you have sex with her. This goes for LTRs, fvck buddies, and one night stands.
 

Zenmervolt

Elite member
Oct 22, 2000
24,514
44
91
Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski
All the people saying don't have sex if you're not prepared to have a kid, look at it from a rational point of view. The woman knows she can get pregnant and thus should not have sex unless she is prepared to have the kid and pay for it her own damn self.
No, if the man concents to sex, he's just as responsible. It takes both people.

Both the man and the woman need to accept that responsibility, not only the man or only the woman.

ZV
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski
Welcome to a world really run by women. When it comes to children, as a man you have no say in anything. If she gets pregnant you have no rights about the child. I find it funny that women want equality and what not, but if they have a kid, screw equality, they will do whatever they can to get $$$ from the man.
It's pretty sad. All the people saying do have sex if you're not prepared to have a kid, look at it from a rational point of view. The woman knows she can get pregnant and thus should not have sex unless she is prepared to have the kid and pay for it her own damn self.

that is changing but slowly.

i know 2 men that have full custady of the children and get child support payments. so it is rare but does happen. but you are right. most of the time the man is screwed.

remember reading where a couple had sex (they used a condom). teh guy left for the milatary (i think). the women used the sperm in the condom and got herself pregnant.

the guy was on the hook for child support etc.
 

BigDH01

Golden Member
Jul 8, 2005
1,631
88
91
Men have no rights in this area, and it's quite unfortunate. Basically, a man can be forced to care for a child he didn't want while a woman cannot be forced to do the same. On the same token, a man can be forced to give up a child that he does want because the woman doesn't want it. The system as it's currently setup is unfair.

It may be a woman's body, and I'm not suggesting that we can force a woman to have an abortion or not, but it would be nice if the man could "abort" the baby before it is born. Abortion for the man would involve proving he is the father and then filling out the necessary paperwork to absolve him of any financial responsibility. This would mean that the father could never have visitation or any other rights on the baby. IMO, this is more fair than the system we currently have in place. This might also curb the number of pregnancies stemming from women who believe they can force a man to stay with them if they get pregnant. I see the counter-argument to this as being "Well, now we have a bunch of babies out there with no financial support." I would imagine that most mothers in this situation get little to no support from the fathers anyway, as it currently stands. It's not like dead-beat dads are hard to find.

In the end, make sure if you are having sex with a girl that you are wearing protection and that both of you are on the same page regarding what would happen if she did get pregnant.
 

mrizvi66

Senior member
Dec 16, 2005
409
0
0
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: Alphathree33
Disclaimer: This is completely hypothetical. I'm genuinely curious because I don't know the answer. However, I know there are a bunch of 12-year-olds who will post two-word flames. I wish the mods would delete these posts.

So, yeah. Man has sex with woman. Woman gets pregnant (e.g. condom breaks, lies about birth control, pull out too late, etc.).

Baby undeniably belongs to man (e.g. man doesn't deny it, DNA shows it, etc.)

Man decides he wants nothing to do with woman and never speaks to her again.

Is woman now entitled to sue man/ask for child support/etc.? If so, what can the man do in response?

Please don't turn this into a thread about MORALS. It's obvious that guys who do this are pretty scummy. I'm just curious about how the law handles it.
One word: Responsibility

Don't wanna be a daddy, don't stick the babymaker where that might happen.

Bingo...
 

Zenmervolt

Elite member
Oct 22, 2000
24,514
44
91
Originally posted by: K1052
The Supreme Court currently disagrees with you. So practically speaking the father has no present recourse.
The current ruling on the issue by the Supreme Court does only addresses a situation where the sex was forced on the woman, the father is either absent or the father has agreed to the abortion. There has been no Supreme Court ruling regarding a situation such as I have described.

ZV
 
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
Originally posted by: DivideBYZero
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: DivideBYZero
Spray the man-milk and you can bet you'll be paying for it till the git is 18.

Text :p

- M4H

404: Pearl Necklace not found. :p

Blame the Flash website, not me. Tiffany's says they've got them, and I figured a high-class Pearl Necklace would be a good choice. ;)

- M4H
 

Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
13,430
13
81
Originally posted by: yowolabi
Originally posted by: Bryophyte
I don't understand why you wouldn't know the answer to this question already. What would lead you to believe that you would have no legal obligation to your child? That makes no sense to me.

Maybe he realized that women can give the child up for adoption and absolve themselves of further legal obligations, and he thought that men might have similar rights.

That's absolutely NOT true (unless he is unaware that she was pregnant with his child and she lies to the adoption agency saying she was raped or something like that, which would be illegal.) Men have rights now that they didn't have thirty years ago. If she tries to give up the child for adoption, he must agree to it too. If he says no, he'll probably get custody of the child since she doesn't want it, and she will be legally obligated to pay child support. I know it doesn't happen that often, but it is the law.

Edit: I forgot that there *are* specific laws where women can anonymously abandon children at hospitals within a few days of birth. I don't know what would happen if the father stepped forward and proved it was his and took custody of the kid. I highly suspect that he would be well within his legal rights to get child support from her once he proves paternity and that she is the mother.
 

K1052

Elite Member
Aug 21, 2003
52,569
46,187
136
Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
Originally posted by: K1052
The Supreme Court currently disagrees with you. So practically speaking the father has no present recourse.
The current ruling on the issue by the Supreme Court does only addresses a situation where the sex was forced on the woman, the father is either absent or the father has agreed to the abortion. There has been no Supreme Court ruling regarding a situation such as I have described.

ZV

They have always sided with the woman and her rights over her body (which the fetus is considered part of for all legal intents and purposes) in abortion cases
 

rodneyxiii

Member
May 5, 2004
181
0
76
The only situation where a man may be able to avoid responsibility is if he did not give consent or was unable to give consent.
For example if the male is underaged as with the recent spate of female teacher/male student cases. That could be a case where the father could avoid being responsible for child support even after he becomes old enough to earn. This may be an extreme case but it is possible.
 

Aikouka

Lifer
Nov 27, 2001
30,383
912
126
Originally posted by: moshquerade
One word: Responsibility

Don't wanna be a daddy, don't stick the babymaker where that might happen.

This response is really in no way bearing on you, I just hit quote after I read your response that mirrored a couple others.

From what I can tell, that's the reason you won't see me doing that. I'd say I'm a logical thinker and logically sex -> child(ren). Now, they have contraceptives that make it so the implication isn't always true (but in the purest of situation, it occurs). So now this makes me wonder, if the situation is so easily defined... why do people just not care and do it anyway? Do they think they're invincible to nature's ways?

I have friends who keep telling me to "give up the V-Card," but I simply won't just "give it up," because I don't think that's right or smart to do. Am I necessarily wrong for trying to think about this logically? I mean, you can go on and on about contraceptives lowering the chances, but playing Russian Roulette with a 6-shooter versus a gun with a hundred holding round is still just as dangerous ;).
 

Kur

Senior member
Feb 19, 2005
677
0
0
What happens when the mother refueses to work things out with the father and refuses to share custody of the child but still wants to the father to pay child support, what happens then?