LOL! On my birthday in 2015 the nurse at my doctor’s office drew blood. Before she started I told her about all the bruising I typically get (mentioned earlier ITT in relation to a tetanus shot). She confidently told me the same thing while asserting she was better than the incompetent people who stuck me before. She got the sample and sent me on my way with assurances that she did it RIGHT.
Well, guess what? Due to it being my birthday, someone there accidentally wrote my birth year on the sample and the lab wouldn’t let them correct it without drawing more blood (some procedural thing). They asked me to come back a few days later... bruised worse than the OP.
“Oh my God! Did I do that?!”
She never would have known if it weren’t for the date error. This tells me that we’ve probably got a lot of over-confident medical techs out there who can’t acknowledge that there might be more to it than skill.
Since the OP is my twin brother, I have to wonder if there is a generic component. We both bruise like that and it definitely seems to happen to us more than most people.