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Ideas for lunch thief revenge...

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Aside from all the revenge solutions which we already know, you could put the dinners in a small lockbox, and put the whole thing in the freezer. Stealing a TV dinner, and cracking a lockbox are levels apart. The lockbox wouldn't stop a true thief, but it'll stop "casual" office theft.
 
In order to not get this turned into a HR type situation, the thaw for an extended time and refreeze will be the revenge of choice. That is unless it continues, then some of the other options may be used 🙂
 
exploding dye packet in carefully resealed box?

food coloring that will turn the teeth purple?
 
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Options:
- A small light-sensitive circuit with a very loud siren alarm.
- Or instead of the alarm, have it trigger one of those anti-theft exploding ink things.*






* - Not responsible for any damages. 😉


Edit: Darn you, ElFenix!
 
Maybe get some sort of metal or foil into the container so when they microwave it, there will be sparks/smoke, etc. This will cause a scene at the workplace and definitely and publicly make a spectacle of the thief. Then again, could potentially cause a fire, or an evacuation of the building..... so do this at your own risk.
 
It seems that the evidence (the box and bowl/container) would make the culprit easy to find.

Visine injected through the plastic sealed top (I'm assuming a cellophane top) is a more proactive move. This could probably be done a few times to make sure that the point is getting across... and that should also help to reveal the culprit.
 
Write "Stop Stealing my Lunch on the clear plastic sheeting in magic marker. Preferably one that uses an ink that stays wet for some time. Put the meal back in the carton, wait for it to get stolen, and go looking for the idiot with red/blue/black/green fingers.

Alternatively, write "I wiped my bare ass on the plastic covering this meal." If the item is stolen and not returned, you have one sick MF'er in the building.
 
First step: use a permanent marker to mark the meals with your wife's name. That might be enough to stop the thefts.

If it doesn't, then report it to HR, along with the frequency of how many times it's happened.

Alternatively, if you're working at a place that doesn't frown upon practical jokes, hmmmmm....

Step 1: thaw dinner.
Step 2: carefully peel back part of the plastic on the top
Step 3: get a smoke bomb. Remove fuse. Get the stuff that burns out of it & wrap it in something that will make it easy to hide under the food (saran wrap?). stick about 1/2" of the thin metal from a twist tie into the fuse.
Step 4: carefully place this smoke bomb under the food, with the fuse as close to the edge of the package as possible.
Step 5: rub wax all over the lip of the package
Step 6: use a curling iron set on low heat to reseal the plastic on the top.
Step 7: refreeze & take to work.
 
I haven't read the responses yet, but it seems to be that laxatives would be an easy solution and would solve both problems: punish the asshole, and determine who it is.
 
Why not put the whole box in the microwave and cook it for 10 minutes or so. Then put it back in the freezer. That way they heat it up again and the food tastes like crap and they can't eat it.
 
DrPizza said:
First step: use a permanent marker to mark the meals with your wife's name. That might be enough to stop the thefts.

If it doesn't, then report it to HR, along with the frequency of how many times it's happened.

Alternatively, if you're working at a place that doesn't frown upon practical jokes, hmmmmm....

Step 1: thaw dinner.
Step 2: carefully peel back part of the plastic on the top
Step 3: get a smoke bomb. Remove fuse. Get the stuff that burns out of it & wrap it in something that will make it easy to hide under the food (saran wrap?). stick about 1/2" of the thin metal from a twist tie into the fuse.
Step 4: carefully place this smoke bomb under the food, with the fuse as close to the edge of the package as possible.
Step 5: rub wax all over the lip of the package
Step 6: use a curling iron set on low heat to reseal the plastic on the top.
Step 7: refreeze & take to work.
Click to expand...

why do i get the feeling you have done this before?
 
Dulanic said:
Frozen sealed dinner. That is where the problem comes in that is different than usual.
Click to expand...

You're not trying very hard.

1. Defrost
2. Obtain syringe
3. Fill said syringe with ipecac and/or laxatives
4. Saturate contents with syringe (creating only a couple microscopic holes)
5. Wreak havoc on digestive tract of fucktard stealing food
 
DrPizza said:
First step: use a permanent marker to mark the meals with your wife's name. That might be enough to stop the thefts.

If it doesn't, then report it to HR, along with the frequency of how many times it's happened.

Alternatively, if you're working at a place that doesn't frown upon practical jokes, hmmmmm....

Step 1: thaw dinner.
Step 2: carefully peel back part of the plastic on the top
Step 3: get a smoke bomb. Remove fuse. Get the stuff that burns out of it & wrap it in something that will make it easy to hide under the food (saran wrap?). stick about 1/2" of the thin metal from a twist tie into the fuse.
Step 4: carefully place this smoke bomb under the food, with the fuse as close to the edge of the package as possible.
Step 5: rub wax all over the lip of the package
Step 6: use a curling iron set on low heat to reseal the plastic on the top.
Step 7: refreeze & take to work.
Click to expand...

Good idea, but you're not going to catch the culprit red handed that way. Chances are if the microwave is smoking he/she will just walk away. It would be interesting to see the person as they suffer ill effects. I like the idea of the super hot chili powder. I also like the idea of letting it defrost for a couple of days, then freeze again. Injecting food with ipecac is good too. Just be sure to have a friend of the same sex ready to follow he/she into the bathroom, take a picture of them in the bathroom, and post it on the boards as the lunch box thief.
 
While some of the suggestions have been "interesting" the punishment for intentionally poisoning someone should be a consideration. Something along the lines of a loud alarm is certainly interesting.
 
MustISO said:
While some of the suggestions have been "interesting" the punishment for intentionally poisoning someone should be a consideration. Something along the lines of a loud alarm is certainly interesting.
Click to expand...

That's why no one's suggesting actual poison. If you put a laxative in the food, the original owner can always just say, "hey, I'm constipated, and this is how I was going about solving it."

If it's at all reasonable that the original owner would/could have consumed it, the rest is just conjecture.
 
re: laxatives. If the thief is an asshole, and someone who steals coworkers lunches is pretty much guaranteed to be an asshole, then it's pretty simple for the thief to press charges.

It's a misdemeanor at the very least, and possibly a felony for food tampering (as well as aggravated assault charges.)

On Feb 6th, Collin Wayne Orth, a Lyle High School student, served laxative-laced brownies to a bunch of classmates and school staff. It was supposed to be funny, but after diarrhea, stomach cramps, bloody stools, and two felony charges, no one is laughing.
The charges are felony adulteration resulting in bodily harm -- which could get Orth 10 years in prison and a $20,000 fine -- and felony adulteration not resulting in bodily harm, which carries a maximum sentence of 5 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.
If he receives the max sentence on both counts, the 18-year-old could be in jail into his 30s.
Click to expand...
Do you really want to risk that? Not to mention an asshole also suing you in civil court for lost wages after having to go home and being sick for a week? (No, they wouldn't be sick for a week, but they could easily take the week off and claim they were sick. Tell it to the judge that you're sure they were faking it.) Oh, and of course, the suit would include pain and suffering from a week of stomach cramps.


Also, if smoke starts billowing out of a microwave, someone besides the thief is also going to notice, unless the thief is the only person in the room.
 
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1. Glue aluminum foil to the bottom of one and paint it to match the container.

2. See who starts a fire in the communal microwave.
 
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