There are probably tons of people willing to grope you in the personals section of Craigslist. Give it a try. What's the worst that could happen?
The most common one is that the guy doesn't show up.
But the worst would be if you decided to meet in a public place for safety, and both of you got busted by the police for felony crotch fondling. Then, it turns out that "Butch" is big for his age . . . which turns out to be 14. Now you're on the sex offender list forever, and have to go around to all your neighbors and personally let them know. They never liked you anyway. I mean, what kind of guy solicits groping on Craigslist? So they burn your house down. You narrowly escape the flames, dressed only in your boxers, in which you sleep. When the fireman appear, you throw yourself into the Chief's arms in gratitude. Your ratty boxers slip, it's caught on the Channel 3 newscam, and now you're a serial sex offender who gets sent to PMITA prison, where you again meet "Butch," who's now serving a life term for a long series of Craigslist meet-up robberies (yeah, Butch is "that guy".) He's had little to do in prison but work out. He's ripped. He's also starved for sex and takes a real fancy to you.
Now you're bleeding out of your rectum on a daily basis, while doing hard time. Prison funding dries up due to more tax cuts for the rich. They move to one meal a day, a baked brick the contents of which you really, really don't want to know. There's a riot, and several inmates are killed. You manage to escape in the confusion. Now, there's a manhunt out for you. You flee to your parent's house. They won't let you in. They've even changed their family name so as to distance themselves from you.
The FBI tracks you down. Cornered, you try to surrender peacefully. One of the squad cars backfires, they think you have a gun (it's just a pickle you boosted from a supermarket because you were starving.) They fill you full of lead, but because you're still twitching on the ground in excruciating pain, they also beat you to a pulp because "they feared for their own safety."
Now you're a convicted serial sex offender paraplegic with no friends whatsoever on this entire planet.
You get put in the prison infirmary, unable to move. Guess who's in the next bed? That's right, it's Butch! He blames you for leaving him behind during the prison riot. At night, all the prison hospital staff goes home except for one elderly nurse who has a narcotics habit. Each night, Butch flips you over and has his way with your broken body. Lost in her opioid induced dreams, the nurse never hears your screams. Each and every night, until you mercifully die, choking on your own bile.
Masturbation looks like a shining alternative
now, doesn't it, OP?
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