I love being a tech-savvy parent >:D

[thestrangebrew1]

I think the OP did right on this, except maybe being a little too light on punishment. You guys might see tracking as spying or whatnot, but it's a great tool to use to help a parents make sure your child is where they say they're going to be. BUT, there HAS to be a level of trust a parent must place in their child. For instance, the OP didn't say that he uses tracking all the time to see where his daughter is at. He just mentioned this instance, in which, she was late for curfew and that there is a LAW in place for curfew. For me, if my child was not home by the specified time, then you bet your ass tracking would be on and I would want to know where my kid is. Before curfew, then I'd have to trust my kid. If there's numerous instances where my kid is breaking curfew, much like OP's daughter had, then tracking, or some other means of monitoring makes sense.

 

[Vdubchaos]

On that, I don't keep tabs on her unless she's doing something wrong. She can go wherever she wants as long as she tells us where she's going and when she's going to be back. If she's not back when she said she's going to be, you're damn right I'm going to track her.

That sounds fine with me. But I wouldn't have told her how you knew.....now you can't use this tool going forward and chances are she will not have her phone on her at all times (or remove it).

Oh look, she was carting her friends around and here you were thinking she was going to get swallowed by a black hole if you didn't put a tracker on her phone.


Helicopter parents..

Ohh please stop with this BS

 

[Fritzo]

You still haven't answered my questions.

Was it with you car as well.
Does she use your phone?
Does she pay insurance?

If the answer is yes, what does it matter if it's your gas as well?

🙂

I did answer: it's my car, my gas, and I pay for her phone and insurance.

That sounds fine with me. But I wouldn't have told her how you knew.....now you can't use this tool going forward and chances are she will not have her phone on her at all times (or remove it).

I want her to know I can see her. That way she's not tempted to screw up again. She's adorable but not very bright---she would have no idea that a phone app could do that. I have her believing I installed something in the car, and she has no problem thinking that because I'm always putting gadgets together 🙂

 

[Vdubchaos]

I did answer: it's my car, my gas, and I pay for her phone and insurance.

Why would you do ANY of that?

Does she work? Pay rent? I think you are spoiling her for simply giving her all of these things.

She will never appreciate or care for ANYTHING that's given to her and will not know the amount of hard work and time it takes to actually acquire these items.

 

[SheHateMe]

Ohh please stop with this BS

Ya, sure. Let me know when you start tracking your daughter in college, OP. Maybe you can put a camera on her too.

Why would you do ANY of that?

Does she work? Pay rent? I think you are spoiling her for simply giving her all of these things.

She will never appreciate or care for ANYTHING that's given to her and will not know what it takes to actually acquire these items.

Says the Dad that complained not to long ago in Love & Relationships that his daughter was resisting his authority because he's super restrictive and doesn't let her be a teenager.



Good luck when she's in College going buckwild because her parents didn't let her get all the stupid behavior out when she was younger.

 

[Red Storm]

I think the OP did right on this, except maybe being a little too light on punishment. You guys might see tracking as spying or whatnot, but it's a great tool to use to help a parents make sure your child is where they say they're going to be. BUT, there HAS to be a level of trust a parent must place in their child. For instance, the OP didn't say that he uses tracking all the time to see where his daughter is at. He just mentioned this instance, in which, she was late for curfew and that there is a LAW in place for curfew. For me, if my child was not home by the specified time, then you bet your ass tracking would be on and I would want to know where my kid is. Before curfew, then I'd have to trust my kid. If there's numerous instances where my kid is breaking curfew, much like OP's daughter had, then tracking, or some other means of monitoring makes sense.

No, doing stuff like spying on your kids and being secretive rather than being open and trustful with them is what causes them to hide what they do from you. I had pretty strict parents growing up, but they were always open with me and they trusted me, and in return I trusted them as was open with them.

 

[Vdubchaos]

Ya, sure. Let me know when you start tracking your daughter in college, OP. Maybe you can put a camera on her too.

Do you have children?

 

[swanysto]

While you went a little further than I would, I don't think a phone tracker is a bad idea at all. Personally, I wouldn't check it till curfew came up, and really only to make sure things weren't wrong. She would get punished, but only because of curfew, not because she was somewhere she said she wasn't.

However, that is the thing about parenting. Everyone does it their own way. At the end of the day, you bring something into this world, you are responsible for it. So you have to do what you know.

 

[SheHateMe]

Do you have children?

Nope. Don't need any. I have younger sisters. I am also a daughter. I know the game. I also know how stupid parents can be.

Luckily, my mom never put a tracker on me. If I fucked up, she let me fuck up. Punishment would come..but she didn't have to put spyware on my damn phone.


Maybe the OP can try one of those leashes nest time.

 

[Jaskalas]

Ya, sure. Let me know when you start tracking your daughter in college, OP. Maybe you can put a camera on her too.

You post with disregard for a 16 year old dependent driving around his car 30+ miles away at night and lying about it. Wildly different scenario than your college strawman.

 

[TeeJay1952]

On occasion when my kids were in their teens I would do a quite search of their rooms. I would never reveille what I was doing but used the gathered information to decide on how to proceed with the days ahead. Sometimes it killed me to keep silent but I always did. Now my Kids are getting near 50 and they have their own conundrums to solve. I did not burden my wife with the knowledge of what was up.

 

[SheHateMe]

You post with disregard for a 16 year old dependent driving around his car 30+ miles away at night and lying about it. Wildly different scenario than your college strawman.

College stawman? hahaha.

So, whats the difference between a 16 year old driving her father's car and an 18 year old driving her father's car?

 

[Fritzo]

Why would you do ANY of that?

Does she work? Pay rent? I think you are spoiling her for simply giving her all of these things.

She will never appreciate or care for ANYTHING that's given to her and will not know the amount of hard work and time it takes to actually acquire these items.

I do that because I can. She had a job but quit (with my permission- her boss was a bit..."odd"). She just got a job again this week and she will be giving money towards her expenses and buying gas.

Trust me, she's a good kid and I'm lucky in a lot of ways. She's very pretty but has a good enough head to stay out of relationships at her age (I once worried she's a lesbian 😀), and she's very emphatic about considering others, so when she has the means, she'll make sure expenses are taken care of.

 

[sixone]

No, doing stuff like spying on your kids and being secretive rather than being open and trustful with them is what causes them to hide what they do from you. I had pretty strict parents growing up, but they were always open with me and they trusted me, and in return I trusted them as was open with them.

The OP clearly says that he didn't start tracking her until AFTER she had demonstrated a problem following his rules. She wasn't being open and trustful, so tracking her was the right decision.

 

[Vdubchaos]

Nope. Don't need any. I have younger sisters. I am also a daughter. I know the game. I also know how stupid parents can be.

Until you are a parent, don't EVER judge another parent.

EVER

You will not know why and I will never be able to explain to you why UNTIL you are a parent. You will just have to trust me on that.

😉

 

[Fritzo]

College stawman? hahaha.

So, whats the difference between a 16 year old driving her father's car and an 18 year old driving her father's car?

2 extra years of driving experience? She's only been driving for 5 months.

 

[Mixolydian]

Why would you do ANY of that?

Does she work? Pay rent? I think you are spoiling her for simply giving her all of these things.

She will never appreciate or care for ANYTHING that's given to her and will not know the amount of hard work and time it takes to actually acquire these items.

You seem to have all the answers when it comes to parenting. Do you have kids? I sure hope they're perfect.

 

[Vdubchaos]

I do that because I can. She had a job but quit (with my permission- her boss was a bit..."odd"). She just got a job again this week and she will be giving money towards her expenses and buying gas.

Trust me, she's a good kid and I'm lucky in a lot of ways. She's very pretty but has a good enough head to stay out of relationships at her age (I once worried she's a lesbian 😀), and she's very emphatic about considering others, so when she has the means, she'll make sure expenses are taken care of.

Sounds good to me

 

[Vdubchaos]

You seem to have all the answers when it comes to parenting. Do you have kids? I sure hope they're perfect.

I have 4 kids and they are FAR from perfect. No one is, EVER.

 

[thestrangebrew1]

No, doing stuff like spying on your kids and being secretive rather than being open and trustful with them is what causes them to hide what they do from you. I had pretty strict parents growing up, but they were always open with me and they trusted me, and in return I trusted them as was open with them.

The spying and being secretive I can see people having a problem with. I should've added that we were up front with our son and told him that we had lookout installed so we would know where he was at if we ever wanted to look it up. We have never been given a reason to use it yet, but it's very clear to our son that it's a tool we will use if warranted.

 

[Fritzo]

On occasion when my kids were in their teens I would do a quite search of their rooms. I would never reveille what I was doing but used the gathered information to decide on how to proceed with the days ahead. Sometimes it killed me to keep silent but I always did. Now my Kids are getting near 50 and they have their own conundrums to solve. I did not burden my wife with the knowledge of what was up.

Heh...same here. I do go through email accounts and texts, and occasionally through their drawers and such. I find some bad things once in a while, but if it's not anything that could damage them or illegal I don't say anything.

For instance, my 13 year old seems to have a fetish for asian porn 😀 One of those "look the other way" situations.

 

[Borkil]

pffftt... i got grounded from tv/video games/computer/any fun electronics for 6 months for a hell of a lot less.

 

[Platypus]

The kids who are kept under such scrutiny growing up are the people who lose their fucking minds when they go to college and away from this type of... parenting in my experience. Hopefully she doesn't make any life altering decisions once out of your radar zone.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Change title to "I love being a creeper controlling parent who's afraid to be open with my children!"

Believe me, you acting like big Brother and spying on your kids is not at all going to help your bond with them or their trust in you.

You obviously don't have kids.

 

[SheHateMe]

2 extra years of driving experience? She's only been driving for 5 months.

You going to track her when she goes to College and is driving your car?

Heh...same here. I do go through email accounts and texts, and occasionally through their drawers and such. I find some bad things once in a while, but if it's not anything that could damage them or illegal I don't say anything.

LOL.

Wow. No trust.