I just shoved a flaming hot paperclip through my toenails

[vi edit]

RE: this thread
http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview.aspx?catid=38&threadid=1955411

I jammed my toes playing football and caused a huge amount of blood to fill up under my toenails. It hurt like a bitch and I needed to correct it.

Required equipment:
1 office paperclip
1 candle lighter
1 bucket of ice water
Paper towels to mop up the mess
Optional: Bottle of whiskey and/or Oxycotin

Procedure:
1. Dunk feet in water for 20 minutes to numb
2. Heat up paperclip to the point of it being red hot
3. Apply paperclip to toe and press
4. Repeat steps 2 & 3 until you've struck gold
5. Watch blood and puss erupt out of hole
6. Mop up.
7. Repeat for other toe

Pic for the sick!

So far the pain relief is incredible. I can actually walk without wincing since I don't have all of that crap built up under there.

Process itself was painless. The ice bath was actually more uncomfortable. The smell of burning toenails isn't pleasant

 

[sniperruff]

ugh. you sure they won't get infected with a hole like that?

 

[iamwiz82]

Isn't Mrs. Vi_Edit a nurse? That's as advanced as the medical world has gotten?

 

[eits]

what?! why!?

 

[Slacker]

There's a fungus among us.

 

[getbush]

When I was about 5 I slammed the tip of my finger in a car door. This was done to my finger. I remember being scared sh|tless as it went down.

I still remember when it was suggested I didn't believe them, and I thought they were messing with me. Then they got the lighter and paper clip out and I was like holy fvck.

 

[theprodigalrebel]

Where did you come upon this pain-relief remedy?

 

[eits]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Where did you come upon this pain-relief remedy?

yeah, for real. i've never heard of this...

 

[ScrapSilicon]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Where did you come upon this pain-relief remedy?

Originally posted by: getbush
When I was about 5 I slammed the tip of my finger in a car door. This was done to my finger. I remember being scared sh|tless as it went down.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: iamwiz82
Isn't Mrs. Vi_Edit a nurse? That's as advanced as the medical world has gotten?

Pharmacist. She said that if I was a stranger it would have been no problem...but she couldn't do it to me.

As for infections, it's better to bore it out and get that puss and blood out of there instead of letting it sit and fester.

 

[Gautama2]

bookmark'd

 

[FoBoT]

you have hobbit fur on your toes

 

[vi edit]

How To Handle Subungual Hematomas

If sufficient blunt or sharp force is applied to the nail plate and surrounding folds, it can violate the structural integrity of the nail bed and the resultant hemorrhage can fill the potential space that normally exists between the nail plate and the underlying nail bed. The force of the injury as well as the hemorrhagic response can separate the nail plate from the bed, causing traumatic onycholysis.

There are many ways to drain a painful subungual hematoma safely. The method one uses is based on the structural integrity of the nail folds and the amount of the visible nail plate associated with the hematoma. As a rule, when there are stable nail folds and an injury displaying < 25 percent of the visible nail plate associated with the hematoma, one can drain the hematoma through the nail plate using a hand cautery unit, an 18 gauge needle, a small rotary bur or a #11 bayonet blade. The clinician may use any of these instruments to pierce or perforate the plate, and allow evacuation of the underlying, unclotted blood.

 

[sygyzy]

I am surprised there is anyone who *hasn't* heard of this. It's pretty common and accepted.

 

[everman]

oh man, I really don't want to click that link but I'm not sure if I can resist... :Q

 

[DainBramaged]

The holes in your toenails + the hair on your feet is totally rocking my world.

 

[getbush]

The photo is tame by almost any standard

 

[theprodigalrebel]

Do it with a bayonet blade next time and post the video on YouTube.

You won't be the next Aron Ralston but you will get close

 

[ballmode]

pretty soon people will pierce their big toes

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: getbush
The photo is tame by almost any standard

Yeh. But some people just get really weirded out by feet and/or things getting burrowed into their nails.

If you want a *truely* sick link...check this one out discussing the various toe problems.

Not for the faint of heart

 

[skyking]

So far the pain relief is incredible.

Sort of like getting a big sliver out, only ten times better

 

[tweakmm]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Where did you come upon this pain-relief remedy?

I think alcohol and opioiods have been used to releave pain as long as they've been around.

 

[yosuke188]

Dam those 2 holes look like they were phtoshopped or something, especially the left one.

 

[OrganizedChaos]

i've done this before on a fingernail. i just used a paperclip, lighter, and some gauze pads.

 

[EGGO]

The pic just isn't loading for me.

I think I've heard of this before. If not I'm sure I've done it for other things that needed some sort of lancing.