I have become immortal

[Brigandier]

Schneiderguy charges his laser!

Brigandier, scairt shitless, hides behind an innocent child and...SPITS for 1 damage in schneiderguy's face!

Doggit runs near schneiderguy...

 

[schneiderguy]

Brigandier, scairt shitless, hides behind an innocent child and...SPITS for 1 damage in schneiderguy's face!

Doggit runs near schneiderguy...

Schneiderguy, distracted by Doggit's luscious anus, discharges his laser, unzips his pants, and pounces on the creature.

 

[Brigandier]

Schneiderguy, distracted by Doggit's luscious anus, discharges his laser, unzips his pants, and pounces on the creature.

Scheniderguy's laser hits! CRITICALLY! and seriously wounds Brigandier. Doggit, runs over to Brigandier and tends to his wounds.

 

[BoomerD]

http://www.wimp.com/oldpeople/

I like that more every time I see it!


Boomer walks in, rips a terrible fart, lights a match, and burns the other players to a crisp, pisses on their burnt, dead bodies...and collects everyone's weapons, magic spells, powers of what-the-fuck-ever...

 

[schneiderguy]

Scheniderguy's laser hits! CRITICALLY! and seriously wounds Brigandier. Doggit, runs over to Brigandier and tends to his wounds.

Schneiderguy laughs triumphantly, and moves in for the killing blow!

 

[Brigandier]

I like that more every time I see it!

Printer Bandit's spell gains strength, and wounds Brigandier for 2 more...Doggit heals Brigandier for 4 points.

 

[schneiderguy]

I'd like to interject at this point and clarify the tags: I do tip, but only when it is earned by providing exceptional service.

 

[Brigandier]

I'd like to interject at this point and clarify the tags: I do tip, but only when it is earned by providing exceptional service.

scheniderguy clarifies, get a temporary bonus to intelligence!

Brigandier cowers. Doggit heals Brigandier by 6.

 

[BoomerD]

I'd like to interject at this point and clarify the tags: I do tip, but only when it is earned by providing exceptional service.

Thus ending Schneiderguy's womanly chances. Waitresses like to be stiffed by men...

Everyone knows this.

 

[schneiderguy]

Thus ending Schneiderguy's womanly chances. Waitresses like to be stiffed by men...

Everyone knows this.

I don't date waitresses, they're not intelligent enough for me.

 

[Brigandier]

Thus ending Schneiderguy's womanly chances. Waitresses like to be stiffed by men...

Everyone knows this.

schneiderguy is defaced, brigandier lashes out, and scores a hit! Scheniderguy loses 15 hitpoints, and cowers at BoomerD's insult!

 

[schneiderguy]

schneiderguy is defaced, brigandier lashes out, and scores a hit! Scheniderguy loses 15 hitpoints, and cowers at BoomerD's insult!

Schneiderguy puts on his jacket

 

[Brigandier]

Schneiderguy puts on his jacket

brigandier cowers, sends doggit to schneiderguy. Brigandier convinces doggit to like peanut butter, critical success!

 

[HamburgerBoy]

HamburgerBoy snorgles Brigandier, and gives him a health potion.

 

[schneiderguy]

Schneiderguy, realizing he is outnumbered, summons his backup, a GIRL!

Brigandier and HamburgerBoy run, scared of interacting with the vagina creature. Doggit licks peanut butter off of Schneiderguy's balls.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

HamburgerBoy attempts a fireball against schneiderguy. Uh-oh, the power of Wild Magic is too much to handle! schneiderguy's girl is turned into a boy.

 

[BoomerD]

Schneiderguy, realizing he is outnumbered, summons his backup, a GIRL!

Brigandier and HamburgerBoy run, scared of interacting with the vagina creature. Doggit licks peanut butter off of Schneiderguy's balls.

While Schneiderguy is busy pleasuring the doggit...Boomer rescues the girl, and lets her make him a sammich.

 

[Brigandier]

Schneiderguy, realizing he is outnumbered, summons his backup, a GIRL!

Brigandier and HamburgerBoy run, scared of interacting with the vagina creature. Doggit licks peanut butter off of Schneiderguy's balls.

Girl flees! Girl finds brigandier and hamburgerboy a suitable distance away. Brigandier and hamburgerboy rock paper scissors for girl...1...2...3...shoot!

 

[Brigandier]

HamburgerBoy attempts a fireball against schneiderguy. Uh-oh, the power of Wild Magic is too much to handle! schneiderguy's girl is turned into a boy.

Finding the girl to be a boy, brigandier changes his rock to a paper...

 

[HamburgerBoy]

HamburgerBoy laughs at BoomerD's consistently poor luck in finding non-transsexual/transgendered/transvestite women, which is probably a value between 1 and 3.

 

[BoomerD]

This thread proves how fucking retarded D&D was...and still is.

My kids were a bit too young when it first became popular 30-some years ago, but I have a couple of nephews who were "OMFG!" over it...
Retarded as hell...

HamburgerBoy laughs at BoomerD's consistently poor luck in finding non-transsexual/transgendered/transvestite women, which is probably a value between 1 and 3.

BoomerD laughs at Hamburgerboy's inability to distinguish between a REAL female and an artificial one...elevating BoomerD's powers by 10X.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

This thread proves how fucking retarded D&E was...and still is.

My kids were a bit too young when it first became popular 30-some years ago, but I have a couple of nephews who were "OMFG!" over it...
Retarded as hell...

Dilation and evacuation? HamburgerBoy laughs at BoomerD's anti-choice political views and sprays menstrual blood in his general direction.

 

[Brigandier]

This thread proves how fucking retarded D&E was...and still is.

My kids were a bit too young when it first became popular 30-some years ago, but I have a couple of nephews who were "OMFG!" over it...
Retarded as hell...

BoomerD scoffs...and fails! Brigandier laughs at BoomerD! Gets +2 luck vs BoomerD.

 

[BoomerD]

Dilation and evacuation? HamburgerBoy laughs at BoomerD's anti-choice political views and sprays menstrual blood in his general direction.

See...it should be blatantly obvious that I was never a fan...

 

[schneiderguy]

Schneiderguy tucks his penis between his legs and retreats!