I have a secret admirer. (UPDATED 6/3/05!!!)

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Muadib

Originally posted by: Rage187
I'm pretty sure I know who it is.

Young guy, pretty built. Follows me around the gym and talks to my trainer during my sessions.

He also followed me into the locker room this morning after my workout, and washed his face and walked out while I was getting ready for my shower.

He's also the only person I can remember being there during all the times that I workout.

Perhaps I'm just paranoid.

I don't think you are. This person has been watching you for some time. Gay or straight, someone who would do something like this has problems.

I don't agree they necessarily have "problems".

But I don't think the "secret admirer" approach is a great idea, either.


Has the OP told his wife, by the way? Wonder what her reaction would be? And what does she think about her hubby's new, buff body?

 

[Rage187]

Ok here is the whole letter:


Hello,

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Doboji

Originally posted by: Looney

Originally posted by: Rage187

Originally posted by: mrrman
yikes just make sure you shower alone and watch the soap

Private showers stalls although I will be wrapping the towel around my waist from now on.

Are you the kind of gym guy that walks around naked? You know, like walk out of the shower naked, walk around chatting with friends naked, talk on the phone naked, comb your hair naked... and only put on your clothes at the very end?

God I hate people like that... I'm sitting on the bench putting on my shoes... lift my head up to find a one eyed monster staring at mouth level.... and the fvcker is just standing there talking to another naked guy like everything is just dandy...

put some frickin clothes on...

-Max

Fixed :laugh:

 

[MrDudeMan]

i dont know why you guys are getting on him about being "sickened"...

i would be disgusted as well. you are naked and a gay guy is checking you out. that is disgusting to me and should be to straight men. he doesnt have a double standard just because he wouldnt be sickened if it were a girl checking him out. as a straight guy, thats what you want, so you morons pulling the double standard card can crawl back in your hole.

 

[Platypus]

Originally posted by: Bigsm00th
i dont know why you guys are getting on him about being "sickened"...

i would be disgusted as well. you are naked and a gay guy is checking you out. that is disgusting to me and should be to straight men. he doesnt have a double standard just because he wouldnt be sickened if it were a girl checking him out. as a straight guy, thats what you want, so you morons pulling the double standard card can crawl back in your hole.

Why should it be sickening ? I don't understand that mentality, of finding disgust in something natural like the human body. Who gives a sh!t if they're having sexual thoughts about it? It doesn't mean they're going to act on it. Your statement displays a juvenile ignorance found all too often today.

 

[Rage187]

Ok here is the whole letter:


Hello,


I am taking a chance on this getting to you since I do not know your last name. I have seen you working out at the club over the last month or so and have been impressed with your progress and how good looking you are. spending time with a trainer is a good way to get a jump start on a steady workout program. So I asked around and found out what company you work with and your first name and initial of your last name. This gave me enough information o reach out and show you that I am interested in you.

I hope you got the gift card I purchased for you for smoothies at the front desk at the club. I wanted to let you know that you had an admirer, but since I got that and left it at the desk for you I have not seen you in the club. I have noticed that you come at various times of the day and hopefully I just have been missing you this last week but since I have not seen you lately I thought i would take the chance on sending you this gift and letting you know I am interested in you.

I noticed you working out with one of the female trainers. I am hoping that this is a choice you made because you didn't want to be trained by one of the men. It is common for men who are attracted to other men to not want to be in a situation like that with someone they could potentially be distracted by and I am hoping this is the case with you. I notice that you are frequently are with another guy and hope that this is not a serious relationship. I would like to get to know you and quite shy and find it difficult to take the first step to approach people publicly.

I look forward to seeing you again soon and hope you enjoy the flowers!


Thinking of you,
Your Admirer.

I will say this, he has more nerve then I do as I don't think I could muster up the courage to approach a women like this.

:beer: for him.

 

[Platypus]

Originally posted by: Rage187
Ok here is the whole letter:


Hello,


I am taking a chance on this getting to you since I do not know your last name. I have seen you working out at the club over the last month or so and have been impressed with your progress and how good looking you are. spending time with a trainer is a good way to get a jump start on a steady workout program. So I asked around and found out what company you work with and your first name and initial of your last name. This gave me enough information o reach out and show you that I am interested in you.

I hope you got the gift card I purchased for you for smoothies at the front desk at the club. I wanted to let you know that you had an admirer, but since I got that and left it at the desk for you I have not seen you in the club. I have noticed that you come at various times of the day and hopefully I just have been missing you this last week but since I have not seen you lately I thought i would take the chance on sending you this gift and letting you know I am interested in you.

I noticed you working out with one of the female trainers. I am hoping that this is a choice you made because you didn't want to be trained by one of the men. It is common for men who are attracted to other men to not want to be in a situation like that with someone they could potentially be distracted by and I am hoping this is the case with you. I notice that you are frequently are with another guy and hope that this is not a serious relationship. I would like to get to know you and quite shy and find it difficult to take the first step to approach people publicly.

I look forward to seeing you again soon and hope you enjoy the flowers!


Thinking of you,
Your Admirer.

I will say this, he has more nerve then I do as I don't think I could muster up the courage to approach a women like this.

:beer: for him.

That take some balls even though it's kind of weird in the whole 'I've been watching you from afar..' type attitude. I'd find out who it is and let him know how you feel and offer to buy him lunch or something for his troubles. It might make him feel a little bit less awkward after dropping the hetero bomb on him.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation


That take some balls even though it's kind of weird in the whole 'I've been watching you from afar..' type attitude. I'd find out who it is and let him know how you feel and offer to buy him lunch or something for his troubles. It might make him feel a little bit less awkward after dropping the hetero bomb on him.

That's the best advice I've seen so far in this thread. :thumbsup:

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Rage187
I will say this, he has more nerve then I do as I don't think I could muster up the courage to approach a women like this.

:beer: for him.

He says he is quite shy, I guess this explains why he wasn't willing to approach you more directly. I guess he just drew the wrong conclusions from you working with a female personal trainer. I wonder who he asked to find out your name. Maybe your personal trainer (you've seen him talking with her). So maybe she will be able to pass on the message you are married/ not interested.

 

[Rage187]

I totally get why girls get weired out when I guy stares at them.


I'm being careful how I approach it since it's a guy and I know how guy's think. Inviting him to lunch could be seen as something it totally isnt.

Imagine approaching a girl and getting turned down then getting invited out to lunch. It's mixed signlas and thats the last thing I want to do.

My plan was to write a letter letting him know why I wasnt wearing my wedding ring, who the guy is I talk to in the mornings and that I'm very straight but am totally flattered that he noticed I was working on my appearance.

With the note I will include the gift certificate he sent me.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Rage187
I totally get why girls get weired out when I guy stares at them.


I'm being careful how I approach it since it's a guy and I know how guy's think. Inviting him to lunch could be seen as something it totally isnt.

Imagine approaching a girl and getting turned down then getting invited out to lunch. It's mixed signlas and thats the last thing I want to do.

My plan was to write a letter letting him know why I wasnt wearing my wedding ring, who the guy is I talk to in the mornings and that I'm very straight but am totally flattered that he noticed I was working on my appearance.

With the note I will include the gift certificate he sent me.

That sounds like a good plan.

Just out of curiousity, why don't you wear your wedding ring?

 

[Platypus]

Originally posted by: Rage187
I totally get why girls get weired out when I guy stares at them.


I'm being careful how I approach it since it's a guy and I know how guy's think. Inviting him to lunch could be seen as something it totally isnt.

Imagine approaching a girl and getting turned down then getting invited out to lunch. It's mixed signlas and thats the last thing I want to do.

My plan was to write a letter letting him know why I wasnt wearing my wedding ring, who the guy is I talk to in the mornings and that I'm very straight but am totally flattered that he noticed I was working on my appearance.

With the note I will include the gift certificate he sent me.

Bah, if you explain ahead of time that you are not interested then lunch is seen as something you're doing to repay the favors he's done for you. Your analogy doesn't work since that woman didn't buy you a GC and flowers. Writing a letter seems like a cop out and very 'middle school' esque (do you like me? check yes, no, or maybe lol). You need to consider how shy he is and take that into consideration before just writing him off.

 

[Rage187]

I broke my pinky playing wallyball 6 months ago. The chip of bone was to small so they couldnt operate and buddy taped it to my wedding ring finger so that it would build up scar tissue and straighten up.

I removed my wedding ring and put it in the medicine cabinet. After 4 months the tape came off but i never put the ring back on. I put it on as of last night.

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Rage187
My plan was to write a letter letting him know why I wasnt wearing my wedding ring, who the guy is I talk to in the mornings and that I'm very straight but am totally flattered that he noticed I was working on my appearance.

With the note I will include the gift certificate he sent me.

Seems like a reasonable approach. But how will you get the letter to him?

 

[Rage187]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: Rage187
My plan was to write a letter letting him know why I wasnt wearing my wedding ring, who the guy is I talk to in the mornings and that I'm very straight but am totally flattered that he noticed I was working on my appearance.

With the note I will include the gift certificate he sent me.

Seems like a reasonable approach. But how will you get the letter to him?

Someone at the gym is playing the middleman. I'm going to find out who it is and send it that way.

 

[Ausm]

Hurry and purchase some soap on a rope

Ausm

 

[Rage187]

the showers are private enclosed stalls.

 

[tm37]

Originally posted by: Rage187
I'm pretty sure I know who it is.

Young guy, pretty built. Follows me around the gym and talks to my trainer during my sessions.

He also followed me into the locker room this morning after my workout, and washed his face and walked out while I was getting ready for my shower.

He's also the only person I can remember being there during all the times that I workout.

Perhaps I'm just paranoid.

Hey if he is Hot I say HIT it!

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: Bigsm00th
i dont know why you guys are getting on him about being "sickened"...

i would be disgusted as well. you are naked and a gay guy is checking you out. that is disgusting to me and should be to straight men. he doesnt have a double standard just because he wouldnt be sickened if it were a girl checking him out. as a straight guy, thats what you want, so you morons pulling the double standard card can crawl back in your hole.

Would you be disgusted if a woman imagined you boning her boyfriend? What if she imagined herself taking a dump on your junk? You can't control people's thoughts...so why bother try...or why even bother to care? Thats my opinion. If some dude thought I was hot, I'd take it as a compliment and move on with my life. Not worth getting worked up over something that.

 

[Mloot]

Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation


Bah, if you explain ahead of time that you are not interested then lunch is seen as something you're doing to repay the favors he's done for you.

I have to disagree with the lunch idea. Even if the OP only saw the lunch as a nice gesture (or as repaying a favor), I can't see it being anything but akward for the admirer, especially when he finds out that the OP is, in fact, hetero.


I've been approached a couple of times by a man, and the first time I reacted with disgust as well. I was 20, single, and having a good time in a club one night, when a guy walked up to me and mumbled under his breath, "...Su-- your di--?" My face must have given him a hint of what I thought of that idea, and I wanted only for him to get the hell away from me. I then wondered, for awhile, if I was giving off some kind of "gay vibe." Fast forward to several years after my marriage, and while at a gas station one night, a guy approached me in the parking lot and he asked me if I would like to come over for awhile. I calmly held up my hand to show him my wedding ring, said that I was married, and told him that I wasn't interested. He took it calmly, said he was sorry to bother me, and left. I think my different reactions to the two situations were due to age and maturity. Whereas it would have freaked me out several years ago, now I figure that if a guy finds me attractive, it's kind of flattering, in a weird sort of way. I don't know how old the OP is, but I can totally understand his reaction to being approached like he was.

Btw, when I told my wife I had been approached by another guy, she laughed until she cried.

 

[91TTZ]

While I think it's a bit strange (has a bit of a stalker element to it), whoever wrote it was pretty straightforward, honest, and to the point. Gotta give him credit for that.

They weren't trying to start trouble with you or offend you, so I wouldn't be harsh about it. I can only imagine how embarrasing it would be to be in his shoes.

I wouldn't go to lunch with him though. You don't owe him anything, and that would be a bit weird.

 

[Rage187]

My wife laughed too.


Weird thing is the first guy to approach me was also in a club walked right up to me and said "You look like the type of a guy that could use a blowjob" I quickly realised he was not suggesting I was looking for a girl to do it.

Imagine if guys were that straight forward to girls, "You look like the type of girl that wants her %^&*( eaten"

A slap or punch wouldnt be far behind.

 

[sygyzy]

BEST POST EVER!

 

[dquan97]

you just increased your chances of getting lucky by 100%!

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: Rage187
Topic Title: I have a secret admirer.
Topic Summary: Advice welcomed

Use some lube?