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I believe in making the world safe for our children...

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I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
 
hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle, i get that part, but a cow jumping over the moon? wouldnt the cow need like really springy anti-gravity boots and where would you find four? maybe two, but four? that would cost a really lot of money. more, im sure, than a cow would have.
 
Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS? It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.
 
If someone told me it wasn't "fashionable" to talk about freedom, I think I'd just have to look him square in the eye and say, "Okay, YOU TELL ME what's `fashionable'." But he won't. And you know why? Because you can't ask someone what's fashionable in a smart-alecky way like that. You have to be friendly and say, "By the way, what's fashionable?"
 
Originally posted by: dxkj
Damn, talk about postcount ++


Are you guys making these up, or have read them.copied them from somwhere?
Click to expand...

A little from column A, and a little from column B.
 
i would like to be superman because instead of saving the world i would join the circus and be the strong man, that way i would hopefully win the heart and possibly the body of the bearded lady. we would have many children and live in an amish community were our superstrong, bearded children would not feel out of place
 
If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. "Wait a minute! I thought WE won!"
 
did the person who said "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" get beat on than called names because how else would you know that statement would be fact rather than opinion?
 
I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.
 
if a bell tolls i wonder for whom? and who exactly decides the tolling and in what order, and how do you know its really not for you that its actually a mistake that the toller got jelly on his list from his sandwich and ended up tolling the wrong name.
 
I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the horse pasture and I'll show you." So we did, and there on the ground were my parents having sex.
 
If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker. It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.
 
if ifs and buts were candies and nuts we'd all have a merry christmas i guess it would be ok but i dont think it would be a really great holiday i mean really you can have candy and nuts pretty much any old day, especially halloween. come to think of it if i trick or treat and somebody gives me nuts i would probably say thats a really neat and nutritous snack
 
I think a cute movie idea would be about a parrot who is raised by eagles. It would be cute because the parrot can't seem to act like an eagle. After a while, though, to keep the movie from getting boring, maybe put in some pornography. Later, we see the happy parrot flying along, acting like an eagle. He see two parrots below and starts to attack, but it's his parents. Then, some more pornography.
 
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
 
Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a "shell" if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags.
 
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