ohtwell
Lifer
- Jan 6, 2002
- 14,516
- 9
- 81
You are not a horrible person for not having the strength this situation takes. I'm sure he understands that this is also hard for you. If all you can do is be there for him when he needs you the most, that's all he can ask of you. I don't think I could do it either. It would kill me and I would be crying my eyes out.
: ) Amanda
: ) Amanda
"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare, and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made."
BrokenVisage
Lifer
- Jan 29, 2005
- 24,772
- 14
- 81
Wowzers, good thing I wasn't around during that period the way I shoot off at the mouth (fingers) at some people on here. Give it time though.. :Q
Fixed.
Just trying to add a little humor to lighten the mood and maybe spark a smile or a chuckle out of somebody who might need it.
geecee
Platinum Member
- Jan 14, 2003
- 2,383
- 43
- 91
Very sad. Condolences to you and your boyfriend for the loss of a close family member. Rest assured, not being able to go doesn't make you a bad person.
Perhaps a new puppy will help? My wife's family lost their dog of many years back in the mid-90's (she was my "girlfriend" back then). She and her sisters took it very hard. A week or two later though, they brought a new puppy home and I think it really helped them. It won't replace the dog that you had but it will help to ease the pain and remind you of the good times. Plus, a new dog to get to know and love. BTW, that puppy is 10-11 years old now!
i'm so sorry karenmarie this has got to be an awful time for you and just know that we're here for you (you can always vent to me in PM!)
:heart:
(kudos to the mod for taking care of whiners)
this has got to be an awful time for you and just know that we're here for you (you can always vent to me in PM!) :heart:
(kudos to the mod for taking care of whiners)
Originally posted by: geecee
Very sad. Condolences to you and your boyfriend for the loss of a close family member. Rest assured, not being able to go doesn't make you a bad person.
Perhaps a new puppy will help? My wife's family lost their dog of many years back in the mid-90's (she was my "girlfriend" back then). She and her sisters took it very hard. A week or two later though, they brought a new puppy home and I think it really helped them. It won't replace the dog that you had but it will help to ease the pain and remind you of the good times. Plus, a new dog to get to know and love. BTW, that puppy is 10-11 years old now!
No no no... no more pets...
The b/f and I have 10 cats... four that are ours and 6 that came to the door as strays and we feed and provide shelter to... indoor/outdoor models we call them. We do not need any more here.
And as far as getting his mom a new one... she will not have any more. They had two dogs and two cats. Last year they had to put the cat down due to cancer and that was hard enough even though they had the cat for only a year.
This dog.. 17yrs old. Got it as a puppy. They raised it together. The b/f and his mom. They are devistated over this...
I have been trying to give her a cat.. but she says no more. she said that she will not get any more animals because she is in her 70's now and just too old to deal with the heartbreak again.
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
The b/f has had a dog for almost 17yrs. And the arthritus in the dog's back is so bad that she can longer use her legs. His mother called last night and she cannot walk or anything. So, he took the dog to the vet today to have her put to sleep. She has been in pain for quite a while and it is time.
He just called me.. he took her to the park for a special lunch. She is laying in the grass with him and he was on the phone crying his eyes out. He says she knows. And she is ready.
I could not go with him. The thought of what is happening has me sitting here, crying to the point where I can hardly breathe. But I just cannot be there, to take this pet to the vet for this. I do not have it in me to do this. I will comfort the b/f and cry with him when he gets home, but I cannot sit in the jeep looking at the dog, knowing where she is going.
I feel really guilty about not being able to go and I hate myself for it, but just cannot do it. The b/f is a big tough guy, and hearing him cry on the phone makes me so fvcked up, i ... i cannot find the words for it.
I am a horrible g/f.
Update
I went to go to the vet's office... just to sit in the waiting room. Just to be there for the b/f, ya know?
so I left the house and went to get in my car, and he called my name. He was sitting in the jeep, in the parking lot across the street. He knew where I was going and said thanks and that he loved me, but he did not want me there... ONLY because he did not want to put me thru that.
He went to his mom's house to get her. he had to bathe her first... since she cannot walk or move her hind legs, she was ... she needed to be bathed first. I dont know what it takes of a person to do this... to bathe a dog for the last time. To have her trusting eyes look up at him while he washed her, knowing where he was taking her. That is a strength that I could never find within myself.
So, he took her to the park and loved her for a while. He said that she knew this would be her last day. He said that he believes that she was ready. She has been in pain for some time and was ready to go.
He was kissing her and talking to her while she went. He said it was very quick since she was really ready for this. He came home and sat in the jeep for a few minutes to collect himself so he did not have to come in as a wreck and upset me. Again, this type of strength escapes me.
Now he is gone to see his mom. She is a big softy and was devistated by this. And since they raised this dog together, he wants to go see her alone and not have her embarrassed by falling to pieces by anyone else.
and :heart: for the b/f!
If anyone turns this into a flame war, I will personally break out the fire hose and wash all the trash out the door.
AnandTech Moderator
Putting a sick pet to sleep is a Sad, but a needed thing to do for the animal,to end its suffering.It takes a lot of love to do this.
:heart:
Be kind to your boyfriend,and hug him.A lot.:heart:
Life moves on, it's sad to lose a "family member", after a while a new member often joins and happiness returns.
ThePresence
Elite Member
- Nov 19, 2001
- 27,727
- 16
- 81
secretanchitman
Diamond Member
- Apr 11, 2001
- 9,353
- 23
- 91
Now THAT sums it up!!
I had to put my Father's dog down a few months back. She was a Miniature Schnauzer we had for over 12 years. I loved that dog and so did my Dad. Putting a dog down is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. The worst thing about it was the look in her eyes. Maybe I'm just trying to justify what I did but the look in her eyes was, at first, one of 'knowing' and then one of 'forgiveness'. I don't know how to explain how I knew what she was feeling, I just did. That look of 'forgiveness' was especially hard to take because I still haven't forgiven myself for that (but that's my cross to bear and at some point will put it down.....just not right now).
All of this came just 6 months after losing my Mom to an Anuerism. Both times I was the 'strong one' because it was my Father's 'turn' not to be. This Man was the 'strong' one every single time something like this happened including the death of his own Father. Hell, one time, our Irish Setter (unexpectedly) died of Cancer while we were camping. By the time we got back to our home to bury her, rigor had set in. My Father dug the grave (she was a large dog) and found that the hole wasn't large enough. He had to 'bend'(break) her legs so that she could fit. I didn't know this until the next day when my Mother told me. He loved that dog BIGTIME.
I have the utmost respect for my Father, not because he doesn't usually show his emotions, but because he is willing to 'bypass' them for the good of his family. I was 'forced' into that position with the Death of my Mom and their dog. I think it would have been MUCH easier to just deal with everything when it happened instead of over time.
Sorry for my ramblings but reading how other people deal with pain of this nature helped(s) me to deal with mine. I hope it does the same for you and your b/f.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
SDC
That is why I could not go. I could not ever deal with the look in the dogs eyes. I just could not do it. And if I did not feel bad enough about that... hearing the b/f cry and knowing what it was doing to him made it all worse.
Your post is very moving. You and your dad are lucky to have each other.
TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 25K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes + WCL Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 24K
-
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread- Started by TheF34RChannel
- Replies: 23K
-
-
Facebook
Twitter