How many dates before $ex?

[RagingBITCH]

100% depends on the woman. If I respect her, definitely no first date sex. And then in that case, could be anywhere from a few dates to longer. I don't think it's absolutely crucial until you're exclusive.

 

[Don Vito Corleone]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile
I think my GF and I waited like 6 months...and then it was her initiative.

Ack! That's not for me.

 

[GTaudiophile]

I call shens on 90% of the posts in this thread. ATOTers getting it by the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd date...LOL! Get real.

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: JLGatsby

Originally posted by: Eghck

Originally posted by: toekramp
3 dates or so

yeah I would say 3 or 4 as well, of course there are exceptions...

I hope you filthy people get tested for disease.

I would say at minimum 3 or 4 months, not dates.

If a girl tried to get in my pants on the 3rd date I would dump her ass. Why? Think of how many dudes she's slept with. Disgusting.

Somehow, I'm guessing this isn't a problem you have very often.

I'm agreeing with JL on this one.....and we wonder why our society is shitting the bed. If you want a RELATIONSHIP with someone, you don't stick it in them on the 3rd date....i mean ******, think of your longest relationship, and what you knew about them say several months in...compare that to what you knew about them after a couple weeks....UGH. Disgusting.

 

[ballmode]

Best things come in the form of 3

 

[Don Vito Corleone]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile
I call shens on 90% of the posts in this thread. ATOTers getting it by the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd date...LOL! Get real.

Isn't that pretty much the standard nowadays? I don't think too many people are waiting more than a couple of weeks anymore.

 

[Rill22]

I'm pretty taken aback by some of these answers. As a 23 year old girl, I would never have sex on the 2nd date. I am not arguing that other girls who do are slutty, because yeah, it is different for everyone, but 2 or 3 dates just seems so rushed. Like you're trying to get something over with.

It's pretty disheartening to read all these posts with guys saying, "3 dates or she's gone. Put out or get out." Nice to know you have your priorities straight. Of course this is a generalization, and many relationships have been very successful after having sex early, but it is just simply not something I would do within the first week. Some of you guys are saying it's ridiculous to wait longer than that; I think it's ridiculous NOT to wait longer than that.

Whatever floats your boat though, I guess. If I was dumped after a week for no sex, then that's probably not the person I should be with anyways.

 

[DAGTA]

Originally posted by: Rill22
I'm pretty taken aback by some of these answers. As a 23 year old girl, I would never have sex on the 2nd date. I am not arguing that other girls who do are slutty, because yeah, it is different for everyone, but 2 or 3 dates just seems so rushed. Like you're trying to get something over with.

It's pretty disheartening to read all these posts with guys saying, "3 dates or she's gone. Put out or get out." Nice to know you have your priorities straight. Of course this is a generalization, and many relationships have been very successful after having sex early, but it is just simply not something I would do within the first week. Some of you guys are saying it's ridiculous to wait longer than that; I think it's ridiculous NOT to wait longer than that.

Whatever floats your boat though, I guess. If I was dumped after a week for no sex, then that's probably not the person I should be with anyways.

Refreshing for me to see a post from a woman that's not a slut. I don't rush into sex and any woman I'm dating who rushes into sex is not someone I want to be with.

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: DAGTA

Originally posted by: Rill22
I'm pretty taken aback by some of these answers. As a 23 year old girl, I would never have sex on the 2nd date. I am not arguing that other girls who do are slutty, because yeah, it is different for everyone, but 2 or 3 dates just seems so rushed. Like you're trying to get something over with.

It's pretty disheartening to read all these posts with guys saying, "3 dates or she's gone. Put out or get out." Nice to know you have your priorities straight. Of course this is a generalization, and many relationships have been very successful after having sex early, but it is just simply not something I would do within the first week. Some of you guys are saying it's ridiculous to wait longer than that; I think it's ridiculous NOT to wait longer than that.

Whatever floats your boat though, I guess. If I was dumped after a week for no sex, then that's probably not the person I should be with anyways.

Refreshing for me to see a post from a woman that's not a slut. I don't rush into sex and any woman I'm dating who rushes into sex is not someone I want to be with.

indeed.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Originally posted by: DAGTA

Originally posted by: Rill22
I'm pretty taken aback by some of these answers. As a 23 year old girl, I would never have sex on the 2nd date. I am not arguing that other girls who do are slutty, because yeah, it is different for everyone, but 2 or 3 dates just seems so rushed. Like you're trying to get something over with.

It's pretty disheartening to read all these posts with guys saying, "3 dates or she's gone. Put out or get out." Nice to know you have your priorities straight. Of course this is a generalization, and many relationships have been very successful after having sex early, but it is just simply not something I would do within the first week. Some of you guys are saying it's ridiculous to wait longer than that; I think it's ridiculous NOT to wait longer than that.

Whatever floats your boat though, I guess. If I was dumped after a week for no sex, then that's probably not the person I should be with anyways.

Refreshing for me to see a post from a woman that's not a slut. I don't rush into sex and any woman I'm dating who rushes into sex is not someone I want to be with.

Sex (money or power) should never be the focus of any long-lasting relationship. That is why I pressured my GF to wait. I wanted the focus to be elsewhere.

 

[Rill22]

Originally posted by: DAGTA

Originally posted by: Rill22
I'm pretty taken aback by some of these answers. As a 23 year old girl, I would never have sex on the 2nd date. I am not arguing that other girls who do are slutty, because yeah, it is different for everyone, but 2 or 3 dates just seems so rushed. Like you're trying to get something over with.

It's pretty disheartening to read all these posts with guys saying, "3 dates or she's gone. Put out or get out." Nice to know you have your priorities straight. Of course this is a generalization, and many relationships have been very successful after having sex early, but it is just simply not something I would do within the first week. Some of you guys are saying it's ridiculous to wait longer than that; I think it's ridiculous NOT to wait longer than that.

Whatever floats your boat though, I guess. If I was dumped after a week for no sex, then that's probably not the person I should be with anyways.

Refreshing for me to see a post from a woman that's not a slut. I don't rush into sex and any woman I'm dating who rushes into sex is not someone I want to be with.

And likewise refreshing for me to read your feelings on the subject. I would hate to think that the entirety of the male population agreed with the "put out or get out" philosophy I'm reading in some of the posts I've read from ATOT.

 

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: Rill22
I'm pretty taken aback by some of these answers. As a 23 year old girl, I would never have sex on the 2nd date. I am not arguing that other girls who do are slutty, because yeah, it is different for everyone, but 2 or 3 dates just seems so rushed. Like you're trying to get something over with.

It's pretty disheartening to read all these posts with guys saying, "3 dates or she's gone. Put out or get out." Nice to know you have your priorities straight. Of course this is a generalization, and many relationships have been very successful after having sex early, but it is just simply not something I would do within the first week. Some of you guys are saying it's ridiculous to wait longer than that; I think it's ridiculous NOT to wait longer than that.

Whatever floats your boat though, I guess. If I was dumped after a week for no sex, then that's probably not the person I should be with anyways.

When i first date a girl, usually it's about a date per week. So including talking on a phone before the first date, it would be three weeks to a month before we had third date sex. Is a month also far shorter than you would wait?

 

[spidey07]

anything longer than 3 dates is ridiculous.

What if she's bad in bed? Then you've wasted time.

It's the accepted norm. The 3rd date rule.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Originally posted by: spidey07
anything longer than 3 dates is ridiculous.

What if she's bad in bed? Then you've wasted time.

It's the accepted norm. The 3rd date rule.

According to whom? Sounds like news to me.

Jeebus. Like women are worth norhing if not for sex.

 

[Pepsei]

That's the way it happens these days. If there is a connection between you and the woman, why wait 2-3 weeks, that's suppose to make it better? A very good pickup artist can bed a woman so fast that it borders on the realms of fantasy.

think about it this way, sean connery, in his prime, could do a lot of women who normally wouldn't just give it up on the first, second date. why is that? are those women sluts?

of course, whatever floats your boat, some people are into fast pickups like that... some isn't. look up this guy ross jeffries, he can pick up a woman so fast that he's famous for it.

 

[DAGTA]

Originally posted by: spidey07
anything longer than 3 dates is ridiculous.

What if she's bad in bed? Then you've wasted time.

It's the accepted norm. The 3rd date rule.

Most people may have the herd mentality but some of us prefer to think for ourselves.

 

[Rill22]

Originally posted by: spidey07
anything longer than 3 dates is ridiculous.

What if she's bad in bed? Then you've wasted time.

It's the accepted norm. The 3rd date rule.

It's the accepted norm? Are you kidding me? Who made this "norm" up? Where are you pulling this from? I don't care how many people you've slept with, or how long you waited, or how long you think your friends waited, but to say that the 3rd date is the norm is ludicrous. To me, you have a very skewed idea of what reality is.

 

[Rill22]

Originally posted by: yowolabi

Originally posted by: Rill22
I'm pretty taken aback by some of these answers. As a 23 year old girl, I would never have sex on the 2nd date. I am not arguing that other girls who do are slutty, because yeah, it is different for everyone, but 2 or 3 dates just seems so rushed. Like you're trying to get something over with.

It's pretty disheartening to read all these posts with guys saying, "3 dates or she's gone. Put out or get out." Nice to know you have your priorities straight. Of course this is a generalization, and many relationships have been very successful after having sex early, but it is just simply not something I would do within the first week. Some of you guys are saying it's ridiculous to wait longer than that; I think it's ridiculous NOT to wait longer than that.

Whatever floats your boat though, I guess. If I was dumped after a week for no sex, then that's probably not the person I should be with anyways.

When i first date a girl, usually it's about a date per week. So including talking on a phone before the first date, it would be three weeks to a month before we had third date sex. Is a month also far shorter than you would wait?

Again, like I said, it's different for everyone. I'm not going to slap a number or a time frame on how long you should wait. You're trying to make 3 dates acceptable because it's spread out over a month, and that may be fine for you, but the amount of time actually spent in each other's company is really what matters to me. So no, if I had 3 dates over the course of a month with one person, I would still not have sex.

I'm also trying to get my point across that everyone is different, and even I'm putting restrictions on something that I just don't know how I would feel at the time with a particular person. But as of now, 2 or 3 dates just isn't acceptable. I am fine with everyone else if that's their "maximum", they just won't be who I date.

 

[z42]

Originally posted by: DAGTA

Originally posted by: Rill22
I'm pretty taken aback by some of these answers. As a 23 year old girl, I would never have sex on the 2nd date. I am not arguing that other girls who do are slutty, because yeah, it is different for everyone, but 2 or 3 dates just seems so rushed. Like you're trying to get something over with.

It's pretty disheartening to read all these posts with guys saying, "3 dates or she's gone. Put out or get out." Nice to know you have your priorities straight. Of course this is a generalization, and many relationships have been very successful after having sex early, but it is just simply not something I would do within the first week. Some of you guys are saying it's ridiculous to wait longer than that; I think it's ridiculous NOT to wait longer than that.

Whatever floats your boat though, I guess. If I was dumped after a week for no sex, then that's probably not the person I should be with anyways.

Refreshing for me to see a post from a woman that's not a slut. I don't rush into sex and any woman I'm dating who rushes into sex is not someone I want to be with after the freaky sex.

fixed for you

 

[SWScorch]

With me, several months. Just how I am. I don't think I could have sex with someone unless I am totally and completely comfortable with them. Took a few months with my current girlfriend.

 

[ghost recon88]

Hmm, for me it will take until marriage because thats the way I've been brought up.

 

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: Rill22

Originally posted by: yowolabi

Originally posted by: Rill22
I'm pretty taken aback by some of these answers. As a 23 year old girl, I would never have sex on the 2nd date. I am not arguing that other girls who do are slutty, because yeah, it is different for everyone, but 2 or 3 dates just seems so rushed. Like you're trying to get something over with.

It's pretty disheartening to read all these posts with guys saying, "3 dates or she's gone. Put out or get out." Nice to know you have your priorities straight. Of course this is a generalization, and many relationships have been very successful after having sex early, but it is just simply not something I would do within the first week. Some of you guys are saying it's ridiculous to wait longer than that; I think it's ridiculous NOT to wait longer than that.

Whatever floats your boat though, I guess. If I was dumped after a week for no sex, then that's probably not the person I should be with anyways.

When i first date a girl, usually it's about a date per week. So including talking on a phone before the first date, it would be three weeks to a month before we had third date sex. Is a month also far shorter than you would wait?

Again, like I said, it's different for everyone. I'm not going to slap a number or a time frame on how long you should wait. You're trying to make 3 dates acceptable because it's spread out over a month, and that may be fine for you, but the amount of time actually spent in each other's company is really what matters to me. So no, if I had 3 dates over the course of a month with one person, I would still not have sex.

I'm also trying to get my point across that everyone is different, and even I'm putting restrictions on something that I just don't know how I would feel at the time with a particular person. But as of now, 2 or 3 dates just isn't acceptable. I am fine with everyone else if that's their "maximum", they just won't be who I date.

I'm not trying to make anything acceptable, i'm not interested in convincing you to change your mind. My advice to my sister and to a daughter i might have, would be to make sure they completely knew a guy before sleeping with him. Any guy that had interest in more than her body will be completely willing to wait until she is comfortable. You just said a "week" repeatedly, and I wondered if you defining 3 dates as being in a week had anything to do with your perspective.

Personally I think that having a maximum number of dates is ridiculous.... but I also feel that way about minimum numbers too. People have known each other... or "dated" for a week or two and known the other person well enough to get married and have successful marriages. The argument about not really knowing a person seems good on the surface, but there's still a whole lot you don't know after several months. The number of people who were with someone for even years and ended up saying "i really didn't know them at all" is endless.

For me, the only correct answer to how long you should wait is... until both of you are comfortable with the idea and you know you're both after the same thing. If you can have sex and won't regret it no matter what happens with the relationship afterward, then you've waited long enough.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: DonVito

Originally posted by: JLGatsby

I hope you filthy people get tested for disease.

I would say at minimum 3 or 4 months, not dates.

If a girl tried to get in my pants on the 3rd date I would dump her ass. Why? Think of how many dudes she's slept with. Disgusting.

In all fairness, I doubt you'd disagree that you're a bit of a strange ranger.

I used to feel like you do, but over the years it's become clear to me that women with experience, women who are themselves sexually charged, are about 100 times more fun to date than women who are willing to wait 3 or 4 months for sex. No woman who has an appropriate sex drive is going to want to wait that long. If I'm going to wait 3 months to sleep with a woman, I might as well haul off and become a Quaker.

Whoa, whoa.. you're intelligent enough to realize that a guy whose 2nd date consists of watching the NFC Championship game... and she had a great time... is probably not dating the same women that you are.
Your standards, that are likely to be shared by the women you're dating, almost certainly don't apply to this guy.

That being said, OP, sounds like she'll let you know when she's interested, and there's no accepted standard.

 

[Rill22]

Originally posted by: yowolabi
I'm not trying to make anything acceptable, i'm not interested in convincing you to change your mind. My advice to my sister and to a daughter i might have, would be to make sure they completely knew a guy before sleeping with him. Any guy that had interest in more than her body will be completely willing to wait until she is comfortable. You just said a "week" repeatedly, and I wondered if you defining 3 dates as being in a week had anything to do with your perspective.

Personally I think that having a maximum number of dates is ridiculous.... but I also feel that way about minimum numbers too. People have known each other... or "dated" for a week or two and known the other person well enough to get married and have successful marriages. The argument about not really knowing a person seems good on the surface, but there's still a whole lot you don't know after several months. The number of people who were with someone for even years and ended up saying "i really didn't know them at all" is endless.

For me, the only correct answer to how long you should wait is... until both of you are comfortable with the idea and you know you're both after the same thing. If you can have sex and won't regret it no matter what happens with the relationship afterward, then you've waited long enough.

Agreed. I just said a week because that's the time frame I had read in a few posts right before I posted. Having a maximum number of dates is ridiculous, and as much as I don't want to be forced to put a minimum on it as well, no matter how I feel for someone, 2 evenings in each other's company just isn't enough. I won't quantify it more than that, but 2 is just too rushed to me. I hate to sound prudish, but I guess I just feel like I won't have sex with someone I don't intend on having a relationship with, and you better both be in agreement about that before you do.

 

[Don Vito Corleone]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile

Originally posted by: spidey07
anything longer than 3 dates is ridiculous.

What if she's bad in bed? Then you've wasted time.

It's the accepted norm. The 3rd date rule.

According to whom? Sounds like news to me.

Jeebus. Like women are worth norhing if not for sex.

I think your point is well-taken, but I don't really see this as mercenary (the adjective, not the noun) behavior. Sex is an important part of a relationship, and the heat is either there or it isn't. In my experience, a relationship which goes past a few dates without sexual interaction is a friendship, not a romantic relationship, and I think just as few women want to wait 6 months as men.

That being said, I appreciate what you were trying to achieve in your own relationship, though I don't share your philosophy toward dating.