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How do you tell future in laws to GTFO...

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NetWareHead said:
This. I was going to propose to a girl but canceled my order on the ring and even got back my deposit before it was too late. Her mother came to visit us (planned vacation, not at all like issue described in the OP) and the dynamic exhibited between my future mother-in-law and fiance was just awful. I felt like she had to get her mother's and family's approval on everything, while I was getting disrespected and cast off to the side. I told my fiance that I wasn't going to be the third wheel in our own marriage and play second fiddle to her mother or other people in her family. I had never seen her and family interact with each other, we never had her side of the family visit us and this behavior was new and shocking. Wedding cancelled...
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Not sure how to respond to this.

Balls of steel?
Respect?
Pessimistic?
Excessively realistic?

How did the calling off the wedding go down? That couldn't have been pretty.

Also OP:
Your situation sucked, and then sucked even more. You lose and I am sorry.
 
Gibson486 said:
well...did not turn out good.

Long story short....we told them 3 days ago...the dad and brother were pissed...

Today...he got admitted into the hospital for a heart attack....
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Not your problem. If the father acts like a douche to you and is called out on it (which you really didn't at him), that's not your fault that the guy ended in the hospital.

Stand up for yourself and continue to lay all the cards on the table. SET the TONE of how it's going to be from now on. You're marrying her and only her. They can only ingratiate themselves into your life if they deserve it. From what you've said, the father thinks your an idiot. You gotta give respect to receive respect!

If I were in your situation, I would have been much harder on them and be prepared for the worst and mentally I'd be fine either way...
 
OVerLoRDI said:
Not sure how to respond to this.

Balls of steel?
Respect?
Pessimistic?
Excessively realistic?

How did the calling off the wedding go down? That couldn't have been pretty.

Also OP:
Your situation sucked, and then sucked even more. You lose and I am sorry.
Click to expand...

Well we still had 5 more months to go on our apartment lease so it wasnt pretty living together. It wasn't pretty at all but this little bit of pain and inconvenience after cancelling the wedding was a small price to pay instead to have to marry her and her family. Se was an Indian chick and the family dynamic is a little different than my background (Italian). She was an independent modern woman when family wasn't around and changed to a submissive insecure girl who sought momma's approval when mom came to stay with us. Mom and daughter would gang up on me and my own fiance wouldnt support me for shit. Short story: the weekend prior to her mom's arrival, her and I went to a brewery and bought a gallon jug of beer. We got pretty drunk that night. Next weekend, mom is with us and I open up a 12 ounce bottle of beer while I'm watching TV. The mom starts telling me alcohol is not healthy, bad for the mind, only low-life people drink it etc... I gently correct (no disrespect at all, i'm trying to win the woman over) the mom and say it is ok in moderation and it is part of my family's culture (we make homemade wine). Instead of backing me up, fiance takes mom's side and it turns into a fight. Now I'm disrespecting elderly people and disagreeing with her mother. Hypocrisy! Long story short, marrying this chick meant I was going to be submissive to her family, never have my own opinion and people halfway around the world would be running my own wife's and ultimately my decisions. Never, ever, fuck that.
 
Gibson486 said:
well...did not turn out good.

Long story short....we told them 3 days ago...the dad and brother were pissed...

Today...he got admitted into the hospital for a heart attack....
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I bet its a fake heart attack. But you'll never have proof because of patient confidentiality. But her and her family are going to hold it over your head for the rest of your marriage/life.
 
Wreckem said:
I bet its a fake heart attack. But you'll never have proof because of patient confidentiality. But her and her family are going to hold it over your head for the rest of your marriage/life.
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umm, bro. They are going to check for something wrong prior to admitting anyone.
 
Nothing good is going to come out of this.

I was there once. My ex family moved in with out our consent, and I asked her to asked her mom to leave after a few months (the 2 sisters and dad was great, but the mom was a Dragon inlaw). And, it was me that was sent out in the cold. The Dragon inlaw destroyed my relationship with my ex, we split and I lost the house.

IMHO, it is best to except her family as is if you love her, however have a talk with your wife after the wedding and make sure that your & her family calls you before you visit.
 
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iGas said:
Nothing good is going to come out of this.

I was there once. My ex family moved in with out our consent, and I asked her to asked her mom to leave after a few months (the 2 sisters and dad was great, but the mom was a Dragon inlaw). And, it was me that was sent out in the cold. The Dragon inlaw destroyed my relationship with my ex, we split and I lost the house.

IMHO, it is best to except her family as is if you love her, however have a talk with your wife after the wedding and make sure that your & her family calls you before you visit.
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Always Always Alway.... see what the MIL is like befiere you decide to get married, all women turn into their mothers😡
 
I would exclaim my displeasure at their impoliteness. Furthermore, I would tell the father to fvck off for being an asshole and trying to go behind your back in your own home. If the fiance got pissed at me, I would dump her for not taking my side. In other words, I would fuck it all up and wind up single.
 
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