How do people enjoy being single and alone?

[akahoovy]

I never really understood why people depend so much on others for their own happiness. Engage yourself in something OP. Read some books. Exercise. Play some video games. Most of the things I enjoy the most are solo activities. Other people pretty much get in the way of my happiness these days what with all their needing me to do things for them and offering up useless opinions on things. There are days when I get pissed if the phone even rings while I'm doing something. Revel in your freedom from other people's bullshit for a while.

Haha! You sound like me. I feel like all I encounter is people with useless opinions or those who are ready to tell me how wrong I am about something.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

I don't know any life other than being single and alone, so the pressures to get into a relationship aren't strong for me. My main goal right now is just to move out of the basement, get my own house, and be completely socially independent. I can't imagine how awesome it will be when I can do basically anything I want without fear being pressured into living my life a certain way. I could blast Judas Priest albums and sing along out of tune as much as I feel like. I could stop showering as much as work permits. I could stop caring as much about my physical appearance. I could go back to the days of almost never checking my cell phone. I wouldn't have to wait until everyone else is in bed before watching the latest My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic episode. I could grow my mullet back and then some. I can't even imagine how amazing it would be to live with no one.

 

[akahoovy]

I don't know any life other than being single and alone, so the pressures to get into a relationship aren't strong for me. My main goal right now is just to move out of the basement, get my own house, and be completely socially independent. I can't imagine how awesome it will be when I can do basically anything I want without fear being pressured into living my life a certain way. I could blast Judas Priest albums and sing along out of tune as much as I feel like. I could stop showering as much as work permits. I could stop caring as much about my physical appearance. I could go back to the days of almost never checking my cell phone. I wouldn't have to wait until everyone else is in bed before watching the latest My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic episode. I could grow my mullet back and then some. I can't even imagine how amazing it would be to live with no one.

That's a fucking weird mental image. Someone with a mullet watching My Little Pony...

 

[Midwayman]

How the hell does someone in my position find happiness without a significant other? I really could use some quick help because I'm very, very lost right now and my mental health is failing me quite quickly. I'm starting to become a bit worried.

Maturbation and alcohol.

 

[SMOGZINN]

In terms of receiving affection, I should be effectively considered an orphan; no tiny violins please, thx.

The first and by far most important thing you can do is to form a few close friendships. Find some guys (assuming you are a guy) that you can hang out with, and spend of your time doing so. This is something I see almost every guy in your position has failed at. Instead of forming close lifelong friendships they put all their social effort into a romantic relationship. Then when the relationship ends they have almost no social circle to give them emotional support.

How the hell does someone in my position find happiness without a significant other? I really could use some quick help because I'm very, very lost right now and my mental health is failing me quite quickly. I'm starting to become a bit worried.

Here are some thing you need to do:

1. Go to the movies, go out to eat, go out alone and do the things you two used to do together. Part of your problem is that you are used to doing those things with you ex, and now when you do them alone if feels like something is missing, and it leaves you feeling unfulfilled. This is simple conditioned response, exactly the same as an addiction, and the best way to break it is to do those things with out someone. It will take a few months, but eventually you will start to feel normal again.

2. Spend less time in your house. You are currently probably spending most of your time just going between work and home, partially because of number 1 and partially because you don't have a strong social network. This will cause anyone to be depressed. You need some excitement in your life. In the past that was mostly provided by your ex. At first because of the sex and NRE (New Relationship Energy, that feeling you get when you are with someone you really like) and then later because of all the fights and tension in the relationship. Now you need to generate your own excitement. You need to find things to do that interest you, that give you something you are excited to talk about.

3. Work on yourself. Fix some insecurities. If that means hitting the gym to bulk up some, that is great. But it might also mean getting Lasik and ditching the glasses, or getting braces to fix crooked teeth. Look into yourself and find what makes you feel insecure and start working on it.

4. Introspection This is the hardest thing I'm going to ask you to do. Spend some time with yourself and ask the hard questions and answer them honestly. Then once you have your answers, do something with it. Which leads us to the final item...

5. Take some risks! This is probably the best time in your life to take some real risks. You probably have very little to lose right now, and a whole lot you could gain. You probably have no one to answer to but yourself. So, have you dreamed about becoming an entrepreneur? Getting a Ph.D? Backpacking across Europe? Go for it! Even if you fail you are going to have a hell of a time doing it. And in the end that is what it is all about.

 

[Puppies04]

You will never learn to love another until you learn to love yourself.

Couldn't agree more, go get the kleenex.

 

[SunnyD]

Having a SO doesn't mean you're not still "single and alone".

 

[clamum]

I don't know any life other than being single and alone, so the pressures to get into a relationship aren't strong for me. My main goal right now is just to move out of the basement, get my own house, and be completely socially independent. I can't imagine how awesome it will be when I can do basically anything I want without fear being pressured into living my life a certain way. I could blast Judas Priest albums and sing along out of tune as much as I feel like. I could stop showering as much as work permits. I could stop caring as much about my physical appearance. I could go back to the days of almost never checking my cell phone. I wouldn't have to wait until everyone else is in bed before watching the latest My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic episode. I could grow my mullet back and then some. I can't even imagine how amazing it would be to live with no one.

Haha. You can move in with me you sexy son of a bitch. I'll let you do anything, and I'm lonely anyway. :sneaky::hmm:

 

[datalink7]

My girlfriend and I recently terminated our 3 year relationship due to circumstances that are unable to be presented concisely with clif notes or even acronyms, so I will spare everyone.

I would say I have been "single" now for about 3.5 months; my previous longest period was around 1 month. I could probably eliminate the single status quickly if I wanted to, but that would be ignoring the fact I have some serious "common denominator" issues in my relationships.

In terms of receiving affection, I should be effectively considered an orphan; no tiny violins please, thx.

How the hell does someone in my position find happiness without a significant other? I really could use some quick help because I'm very, very lost right now and my mental health is failing me quite quickly. I'm starting to become a bit worried.

How do I do it? I don't care overly about my happiness. Doing something important with my life takes precedence.

 

[OverVolt]

Get a roommate. Keep it simple guys!

Use the extra money to go out and have fun. Find friends local to you. Easy.

 

[jlee]

Stay busy. Do things. Find a passion for something and do it.

 

[Dr. Detroit]

The people who would prefer to live alone are living a lie because they can find no one to be with.

 

[gorcorps]

Eh, with enough time you get used to anything. I didn't like living alone after always living with people through school, but I like having the house to myself now.

I still like to go out and do stuff with friends, but living alone suits me for now.

 

[OverVolt]

Eh, with enough time you get used to anything. I didn't like living alone after always living with people through school, but I like having the house to myself now.

I still like to go out and do stuff with friends, but living alone suits me for now.

He walks around butt naked is what he is trying to say. D:

 

[dave_the_nerd]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eXFoOYxMnvg

 

[BoberFett]

Being single is great. Nobody tells me what to do, and I get to have sex with any woman foolish enough to finish the drink I bought them.

 

[RaistlinZ]

Just because you're single doesn't mean you have to be alone ALL the time.

You can still be single and join clubs.
You can still be single and take a hobby.
You can still be single and volunteer.
You can still be single and teach.
You can still be single and host parties at your house.
You can still be single and hang out with neighbors/friends/co-workers.

 

[rudder]

Get married and if need be have a kid or two. Somedays I would kill for a few hours of alone time.

 

[Leros]

I spent very little time being single between the ages of 14 and 23. I've been single for the past couple of years and I've really enjoyed some of the freedoms it has offered. It's given me some opportunity to live completely for myself, which has been an education experience.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

I don't know any life other than being single and alone, so the pressures to get into a relationship aren't strong for me. My main goal right now is just to move out of the basement, get my own house, and be completely socially independent. I can't imagine how awesome it will be when I can do basically anything I want without fear being pressured into living my life a certain way. I could blast Judas Priest albums and sing along out of tune as much as I feel like. I could stop showering as much as work permits. I could stop caring as much about my physical appearance. I could go back to the days of almost never checking my cell phone. I wouldn't have to wait until everyone else is in bed before watching the latest My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic episode. I could grow my mullet back and then some. I can't even imagine how amazing it would be to live with no one.

 

[Ichinisan]

The Internet has lots of porn.

 

[BladeVenom]

Video games, porn, and pets.

 

[mmntech]

I dated a girl for almost 3 years in college. Though been single for most of my adult life. That's mostly due to several issues I have, which I'm sure the other INTJs on here will understand. I won't go into details.

Anyway, it's very easy to get comfortable being single. There's this freedom to do what you want, when you want. Want to buy that TV and have the money? It's yours.

There's two downsides I've encountered though. First one is travelling. It's built for a couple's world, so it's hard to find resorts that cater to singles. It's not always easy to find friends to go with you due to different schedules/priorities. Especially as you approach your 30s. People at the resorts kinda give you funny looks when by yourself. This is a real big area where the travel industry needs to improve.

Second is economics. Housing is very expensive where I live. If you want to live in anything that's not a shoe box, you pretty much need a dual income. That means finding a significant other to live with, or getting a roommate and sacrificing a little privacy. Otherwise you just have to have parents that will put up with your nonsense while you scrimp and save.

 

[ultimatebob]

You will never learn to love another until you learn to love yourself. Even in the most healthy relationship, your self-esteem must still come from within. No couple can stand strong if one of them is too week to stand alone when necessary.

The best recipe for a good relationship are two strong, independent, functional, mature adults coming together with a desire to share lives and build more together than either could alone.

That sounded like some cheesy Dr. Abby style advice, but I'd still agree with it.

Besides, you would be amazed how much money you can save when you're not spending it all trying to impress women. It wouldn't hurt so start saving for your retirement, since that gets a lot harder once you're married with kids.

 

[sdifox]

If you are not happy alone what makes you think you will be happy dealing with an alien lifeform's shit on top of yous?