How do people enjoy being single and alone?

[TheBlackRabbit]

My girlfriend and I recently terminated our 3 year relationship due to circumstances that are unable to be presented concisely with clif notes or even acronyms, so I will spare everyone.

I would say I have been "single" now for about 3.5 months; my previous longest period was around 1 month. I could probably eliminate the single status quickly if I wanted to, but that would be ignoring the fact I have some serious "common denominator" issues in my relationships.

In terms of receiving affection, I should be effectively considered an orphan; no tiny violins please, thx.

How the hell does someone in my position find happiness without a significant other? I really could use some quick help because I'm very, very lost right now and my mental health is failing me quite quickly. I'm starting to become a bit worried.

 

[mnewsham]

Find a hobby or start learning another language. Do something to better yourself, start going to the gym a lot. Etc

 

[Kadarin]

^^^ Agreed. Find happiness by doing things you enjoy, things (like the gym) that make you feel good about yourself. It sounds like you need to take some time to find yourself and develop your own hobbies and interests, rather than jump into a new relationship.

 

[Paladin3]

You will never learn to love another until you learn to love yourself. Even in the most healthy relationship, your self-esteem must still come from within. No couple can stand strong if one of them is too week to stand alone when necessary.

The best recipe for a good relationship are two strong, independent, functional, mature adults coming together with a desire to share lives and build more together than either could alone.

 

[Mai72]

Video games my friend.

Some people feel like getting lost in the world of Skyrim is a lot better then this sh*t hole we call Earth.

 

[dank69]

Pics of ex?

 

[Imp]

I'm sorry, but that's the type of thinking that leads to record divorce rates: "I can't be alone, so I'll desperately marry whatever I can even if we're not really compatible".

Let me tell you, my parents did that, and I still have to put up with their non-stop conflict... 30 years or whatever married and not a day goes by without some yelling, passive-aggressive criticism, or self-pity. To say that it fuc*ed my childhood and view of relationships is an understatement.

 

[alzan]

You will never learn to love another until you learn to love yourself. Even in the most healthy relationship, your self-esteem must still come from within. No couple can stand strong if one of them is too week to stand alone when necessary.

The best recipe for a good relationship are two strong, independent, functional, mature adults coming together with a desire to share lives and build more together than either could alone.

/end of thread

 

[GagHalfrunt]

How do people enjoy being so desperately needy that they can't be alone for even a short period?

 

[Phanuel]

Some of us just accept that we're shitty individuals and decide to not bother trying to fix it or inflict ourselves on others. *shrug*

 

[dbk]

Similar situation..been single for like 7 months (thought I had found the 'One'). Happiness can be achieved in different ways. Was I lonely? Sure but I've moved on and am now looking ahead to my next meaningful relationship. GL

 

[Fritzo]

Are you kidding? Not having someone constantly bugging you for things, dragging you to events you don't want to go to, meeting up with annoying in-laws, being able to watch whatever you want on TV....that's heaven!

 

[SlitheryDee]

I never really understood why people depend so much on others for their own happiness. Engage yourself in something OP. Read some books. Exercise. Play some video games. Most of the things I enjoy the most are solo activities. Other people pretty much get in the way of my happiness these days what with all their needing me to do things for them and offering up useless opinions on things. There are days when I get pissed if the phone even rings while I'm doing something. Revel in your freedom from other people's bullshit for a while.

 

[squarecut1]

Are you kidding? Not having someone constantly bugging you for things, dragging you to events you don't want to go to, meeting up with annoying in-laws, being able to watch whatever you want on TV....that's heaven!

All very valid points....but as the song goes...

And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

 

[blankslate]

How do people enjoy life at all if they're even 1/2 aware of all the screwed up situations in the world?


....

 

[SP33Demon]

Wrong forum.

In answer to your OP, some people are just used to being alone (esp 40 and up) and never procreating. That's perfectly fine in that 85% would never have made good parents anyway.

 

[blankslate]

And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin' Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Sometimes prisoners don't know how good they've got it and others at times probably envy that "prison"

 

[purbeast0]

if you were social you could have tons of fun being single. going out to bars/clubs and mingling with the ladies and having a blast with them. and then you could date (non-exclusively) multiple girls at once and get your affection. you also don't have to worry about anyone else but yourself.

i'm happily married but i have plenty of single friends who still enjoy doing that stuff well into their 30's. i personally am very happy where i am and don't wish i was single really for a moment. few things i wish i did when i was single was go away to spring break thing when in college, and go to vegas single, but i can't do those anymore since i'm married and older.

my wife and i have a good relationship and we know that we each need our "alone" time. i have a lot of hobbies that don't involve her and she knows this, and she does things that i don't want to do either, and we have no problem doing our own things sometimes.

but if i were single right now with my current income/job, i would be traveling A LOT. pretty much once a month i would take a 3-4 day trip somewhere. my wife and i do a bit of traveling as it is already, but if i was single and only had to worry about my schedule and finances, then i'd be traveling all over. i'm not sure why my friends who are single don't do that, but they prefer to go to the same bars every weekend to party.

 

[zerocool84]

You will never learn to love another until you learn to love yourself. Even in the most healthy relationship, your self-esteem must still come from within. No couple can stand strong if one of them is too week to stand alone when necessary.

The best recipe for a good relationship are two strong, independent, functional, mature adults coming together with a desire to share lives and build more together than either could alone.

This

I'm single, I occasionally go out with women, nothing serious, we enjoy each other's company when we feel like it, not pressured into everything. I go to the beach when I want, play video games, exercise, watch the movies I want, do whatever I want.

Only problem is that sometimes when I want to get laid haha, I have to wait until that person has time.

 

[JManInPhoenix]

You will never learn to love another until you learn to love yourself. Even in the most healthy relationship, your self-esteem must still come from within. No couple can stand strong if one of them is too week to stand alone when necessary.

The best recipe for a good relationship are two strong, independent, functional, mature adults coming together with a desire to share lives and build more together than either could alone.

+1

 

[Red Squirrel]

I've always been single, I'm not even interested in a relationship, I just find it more enjoyable since my time is my time and only my time. I'm an introvert though, so that probably makes a big difference.

Play video games, start some kind of project or hobby, do stuff that your GF would never have allowed you to do, move stuff around the house the way you want. Enjoy the fact that nobody can tell you what/how to do things now. Go buy a toy you kept putting off knowing she'd kill you for it. You are free!

 

[OVerLoRDI]

Are you kidding? Not having someone constantly bugging you for things, dragging you to events you don't want to go to, meeting up with annoying in-laws, being able to watch whatever you want on TV....that's heaven!

Grass is always greener.

There are three categories of life that can make you happy, Work, Family, Hobbies. It definitely feels like there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish all 3 at once.

 

[akahoovy]

How do people enjoy being so desperately needy that they can't be alone for even a short period?

The curse of being really, really ridiculously good looking?

 

[Howard]

If you can't find happiness being single, you need to figure out a way to be happy being single.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

Hookups. Self loathing. Heterosexual life partners and BFFs for the emotional/intellectual stuff.